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WWE Wrestlemania XX - Is that it?



13 March 2004

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Itís Wrestlemania time again... and another perfect excuse for me to start moaning. Iím trying folks... but pinch me to make sure it is actually... because for what is probably the biggest event in the WWEís history, itís looking like itís going to be pretty mediocre. I really hope I end up being wrong, but looking at the card...

Alloha anyhow folks, been a while I know but whilst those BASTARDS in the law school decided to fail me in Commercial law by one F****** mark, Iíve been a bit pre-occupied. Let me go on record saying that I HATE the whole Commercial department.... one goddamn mark. There was no need. So now Iíve got to pass a resit in August or Iím totally buggered, and thereís the possibility that passing 13 out of the 14 exams so far wonít mean anything. Then again, nobody reading this will really care to be honest. GAH.

One other pointless, non-wrestling bit of information, forgive me if the word FASHION pops up anywhere in the essay. The goon squad has indeed come to town. What a song by David Bowie. Beep Beep.

So anyhow.... Wrestlemania XX. Yay I hear you say. Twenty years in the making, The biggest stage of them all, where it all begins again, bla bla bla. Letís be honest... if this has been twenty years in the making then you have to wonder how much time theyíve wasted. I mean, the card, as it stands looks like this:

  • Brock Lesnar v Goldberg Ė Special Ref: Steve Austin
  • HHH v Shawn Michaels v Chris Benoit Ė Raw World Title
  • Eddie Guerrero v Kurt Angle Ė Smackdown World Title
  • Kane v Undertaker
  • John Cena v Big Show Ė US Title
  • Evolution v Rock and Sock
  • Christian v Jericho
  • Generic Tag Team of Doom v Dudleys v La Resistance v Booker T/RVD - Raw Tag Team Titles
  • Rikishi & Scotty vs. The APA vs. The Bashams vs. Haas & Benjamin
  • Cruiserweight open
  • Victoria v Molly
  • Stacy and Miss Jackie v Sable and Torrie

So um... yeh. Lots of matches, and some really good ones, on the card... but at the end of the day am I the only one who thinks that they could have done better? This is Wrestlemania XX after all.

Before I go into detail, just by looking at that card I can only see about...4 matches that look like they belong at Wrestlemania. No casual fan is going to be interested in the event, giving the usual annoying, and ignorant cry of ďWhy isnít Austin fighting? Why is Mick Foley not Mankind anymore and why is he not wrestling in a 1v1 match? Thereís too many nobodies in wrestling these daysĒ. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

I really canít wait for Brock v Goldberg, and I just wish the WWE would just save face and I dunno, call it a double main event so they can have Brock v Goldberg closing the event. Because we all know itís going to be the match that defines that Wrestlemania, like Hogan v Rock for WM XVIII. But noooooo, just like at WM XVIII weíre going to have a second rate ďmain eventĒ. Perfect opportunity for an anti-HHH comment here, in that itís interesting to note heís been involved in both cases.

Can I just ask anyone at this moment in time that doesnít like Brock Lesnar to close the browser and just walk away slowly from the PC... thanks. And take that ďyou sold outĒ chant with you.

Ok ok ok, so Brock is technically selling out, and being a total Helwig (which is quite ironic since I always described Brock as being ďthe Ultimate Warrior, but with wrestling abilityĒ) but... um, heís a nice guy? I honestly donít understand why I stick up for Brock, I know heíd have no time for someone like me, or indeed any fan of his... but Iím such a Brock mark itís unbelievable. Which is why Iím gutted that heís leaving, and along with Goldberg, you donít need me to point out that losing those 2 is absolutely awful for the WWE just as they were building up 2 more stars which the casual fans were warming up to (Goldberg isnít a ďnewĒ star as such, but you get the point ok). Disappointing news, and they certainly didnít need it just before WMXX. Could be quite embarrassing for them actually.

Perhaps Iím being naive in believing the story that Brock is leaving, but I suppose itís just that Iíd like to think that the WWE wouldnít do such a pointless thing as create such a work. If it ends up being a work Iíll be happy in a sense, but Iíll feel, I dunno, more pissed off at the WWE for pulling such a pointless stunt.

Back to the point, Brock v Goldberg as the defining match, good stuff... but then you get to the other matches... and Shawn Michaels v HHH v Chris Benoit. Iím sure Iím not the only one who thinks that match will actually be quite crap. Surely Wrestlemania is where you save your best feuds, particularly for the 20th one in your history. Itís the same reason why Big Show v John Cena wonít be any better than ďokĒ, or maybe even ďquite goodĒ. Wrestlemania is where you donít just throw 2 guys into a match like it feels Benoit has been done into the HHH v HBK feud. I hope you understand my point here. They could easily have just saved HHH v HBK for Wrestlemania.

Stuff like Kane v Undertaker should be good, no matter what anyone says, since their feud was always entertaining, and theyíve had reasonably good matches in the past (I hear a couple of people groaning already, ah.... shut it). Iíd also say the same about Christian v Jericho since the feud has been built up so well... and although itís a 3 v 2 match the Rock and Sock one will be another great one I think, due to the well built up feud. Eddie v Angle should also be good as well.

Then youíve got your card fillers such as the annual fatal four way for the tag belts, which always gives an indication of how the tag division is doing at that time. And looking at this one, my goodness... pish. Let us pause first and laugh at the Dudley Boys wrestling in yet another. Hahhaha. Poor guys, the wrestlers theyíre forced to work with just get worse each year. I canít be bothered going through the other matches because to be frank they arenít great, and you donít need me to tell you whatís going to be good and whatís going to be pish because Iím assuming youíre all intelligent individuals, bar the HHH fans.

So fair enough, looks like a reasonably good event up to a point. But is it Wrestlemania standard? And in particular, Wrestlemania XX standard? Remember last yearís brilliant card, Booker v HHH, Rey v Matt Hardy, Jericho v HBK, Austin v Rock, McMahon v Hogan, Brock v Angle. And there was nothing special about the number 19. Sorry but I just canít see the casual fan being interested in this years Wrestlemania. If theyíre going to hype something as much as they have done... then what the hell are they doing having Benoit v HHH v HBK on top of what is already a pretty mediocre card?

Before all the Benoit fans start hitting me with sticks, let me say this. Benoit should get the title one day perhaps if you reeeeeeeally want it (personally I wouldnít cry if he didnít), but WM XX is not the right place for Benoitís big moment. By that I mean that he shouldnít even be in the main event. Not at such a milestone Wrestlemania. Perhaps Iím being a bit harsh... but if weíre watching the WWE we have to apply the WWE rules, and that is that someone like Benoit shouldnít represent a global company at their biggest ever event. What idiot in management thought Benoit was marketable?

Now stop getting angry already, I like Benoit. I respect Benoit and I think heís great. Iím just being realistic in that Benoit is, to the casual fan, boring. He might wrestle as well as Bret Hart, some may say even better than, but he doesnít have the Ďití thing that Bret had in my eyes. Because of the brandís nature (being more legitimate athlete orientated in a lot of ways), I could let him get away with being Smackdown champion, but Raw just doesnít suit Benoit at all. And judging by the responses Iíve got out of the mark population, they all pretty much seem to be saying the same thing. Come to think of it this pretty much represents my whole ďIs that it?Ē attitude towards Wrestlemania XX.

Hogan should be there, I know heís an ass but even if it was for one, ONE night only, Vince should have tried to get back as many big names as possible. Itís what the fans wanted.... or at least what the majority of fans wanted. Still, who knows whatíll happen, maybe weíll get surprises. I likes surprises.

So basically, Wrestlemania XX, pretty mediocre card, or ok, so itís not Ďmediocreí as such, but really pretty much lacking in anything thatís going to make you go ďooohĒ. Depending what youíre doing, the Stacy/Jackie v Sable/Torrie match might do I suppose. If you think Iím totally wrong then let me know why... itís just at a time when you need the WWE to provide the great product that Ring of Young Boys and Total Non-stop Ass-spanking with Dusty canít, they look set to let us down.

Then again I really hope Iím wrong, and that Wrestlemania XX ends up being a classic. And if the slogan rings true, expect Monday night to open with HHH making a 20 minute promo, before Rock runs in and challenges him for the title. Because no matter what they say, thatís the type of crap weíre going to have to put up with for the next ten years. No, it wonít be Randy Orton v John Cena... so donít get your hopes up.

Ah well... have a good Wrestlemania everyone and letís hope it isnít crap!

Post your WWE Wrestlemania XX Predictions here

Post your WWE Wrestlemania XX Thoughts here

Ciao for now.

Simon

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