Wrestling is a funny old game you know, at one moment you are so far down that you think you can no longer carry on, the next you are so high you think you can take on the world. The interactions of wrestlers, people that you get to work with and trust, it's a strange bond that you see in few other sporting activities.

I think I personally am heading to a crossroads, I was given the rare opportunity to book a couple of shows and to "lead" a group of wrestlers in a show. This has opened my eyes to where I want to be in wrestling.

As you learn how to wrestle, you get the opportunity to work with some great people, and I have worked with some really great people. I have a deep respect and loyalty to those that took me out and taught me how to work in front of an audience, they made sure that I had a rounded experience of the different wrestling styles and philosophies.

As some of you may know, wrestling is all about seniority, your wrestling wisdom is your key to your success. In some federations, just being in charge is the key to your success, but for the rest of us workers, we have to be good and we have to be "a draw".

I want to be a draw.

I am 30 now, and next month I will have had 2 years worth of wrestling experience, I have 10 years to make an impact in the UK Scene, or who would want a 40 year old wrestler who's done nothing with his career?

This was compounded with the fact that TWO are currently performing a top 50 wrestlers and I know for a fact that I am no where to be seen on that list, why? Because I haven't made an impact.

I haven't made an impact because I have played whatever is needed to fill a roster, I have been called a man of a thousand gimmicks because I just love to wrestle and I would do anything to get into that ring and work. I have even driven wrestlers to gigs to introduce myself to federation owners and try to get myself work.

Some may consider that "jobbing".

No one could accuse me of not being bothered about wrestling, or giving less than 110% in everything I do. When I say I do something I do it and I find it almost unforgivably insulting when people question my dedication to anything, sure, question my ability, never question my enthusiasm.

Yeah, I am a funny bugger, but everyone who knows me knows I cannot stand people making assumptions about me or accusing me of things that I am not. You want to know how I feel about something you ask me straight, you don't pussyfoot around the subject.

As far as TWO and Wrestling101 is concerned I have supported Kam completely, helped where help was needed. I have helped with the TWO Stars project until it was able to find its feet and in return it is paying dividends. I get to have my say online when I have something to say and I share the writing of one of the most read wrestling columns on the Internet.

So for the work I have put into wrestling, I think it is time that I took something back and worked towards making a name for myself.

I was given a wrestling name once by Jack Taylor and it's kinda stuck to me, I was called Junior Haystacks, but with advice from all my wrestler friends, that was shortened to "Staxx". As some people may remember I began my career as Saracen and I have stuck to that as my on screen name as I wanted to keep my online journalism and my wrestling two separate enities.

As far as I am concerned I am happy to carry on the way I am and supplement my wrestling with work I have gained for myself.

I have been encouraged by people who have more experience than I have years of life and that I do have real talent to entertain an audience, it's just the cherry on the top of the cake for me in my decision making. When an uber-senior wrestler tells you that you have a future in wrestling, you listen, when three tell you independently that they think you are good, you do something about it.

Willie Nelson once wrote that he was approached by a young musician wanting to get his advice on the songs he had written. Willie was critical of those songs and told him what he thought would be changed on them. He mused that a bad musician would listen to him and change the song, a great musician would think "What the f*** does Willie Nelson know?"

The point to that anecdote? Willie was suggesting that if you really want what you want then don't let anyone tell you different, not even the people you look up to. The key to success is believing you can do it.

We'll see how well I do at the end of year 3.

Saz