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The Gorilla Position #9: Society's Sinking and the Taker's last ride



4 February 2007

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The white rabbit is late, my friends, as the clock keeps us on our toes. Fear must be chasing him, as he isn't even seen at wrestlings self execution!

When did the dreams of great wrestling minds become withered to a sideshow. It has become a carnival act so grotesque that the Fat Lady with the beard looks more of a satisfying bar room scamper at 4:00 am than this thin-juiced product. Wrestling Society X is the amalgamation of horrendous TV and the bastard children wannabes of Joe Rogan in the booth. Were they smoking with the great Caterpillar on the Shroom of Knowledge and forgetting to bring back any rational thought? The rabbit was way too late to stop this internal wound by MTV and wrestling in general. "Off with it's head!" Darlin' exclaims as a Mad Hatter on a non-birthday without his special tea. Where is my Queen of Hearts to save me from this debauchery?

Danny hears the Banshees cry as he slowly plods along to finish his thoughts. Cena is still champion, and the church bells toll as Umaga lays flat. Umaga, go out and search for a language to suit that native Samoan tongue. That will be a more worthwhile adventure than trying to beat Cena.

When will the midnight clock sound its gong for the Taker, a Royal Rumble notch now on his belt. The shovel of dirt may soon come for the often pupil-less man aft one more title to take back to Sara. So rest assured, dark souls that still cling to the dead man's wake. Now, my friends, the title shall soon haunt him as he sees the ratings don't even arise for the eternal sleepers .

The Rumble was given at the feet of the old Grand King. Let us hope that with the "300" coming to theatres that the Undertaker shall "fight in the shade" one last time and then deliver himself to the Mobile Mortician, Pall Bearer. Only then can we see the last rites and the taker shall RIP they way a Viking King would fall - sword in hand and off to Valhalla with a great burning send-off.

"Strippers changed my life," Brad Pitt once said, and they changed mine as well. They let me gain a sixth sense about people and the world - when to remove an extra chair from the table and how to avoid eye contact from the bottomless bare-skinned harlots. Yet this inner wisdom also gave me the power to read the bones, and the Darlin' sees all and hopes the messages are received out there in wrestling blog wasteland.

Darlin' Danny Dunn

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