Wazzzzzzzzuuuuuupppp tard-ka-bobz & bay eaterz & crowd pleazerz?!?! Lots of steizuff on my meizind today… Guess what kiddiez…? You’re favourite Riii-tard— MEEEE!!! Iz getting’ hitched to former WWE Diva Stacy The Kat Carter!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! We are registered at Highspots.tv hahahahah not reeeeally but but it sounds better then Bed-Bath & Beyond! Although you (the rasslin’ universe) can check out the Breakfast with Stacy Carter & Sinn Shoot Interview is available on Highspots.tv (shameless plug!!!)… If you wanna get me anything for a wedding present… a job at TNA or WWE would be lovely! I gotza to pay for a diamond ring you know!!!
Bryan Danielson WTF??? I don’t know what to possibly say about Danielson’s release… What a freakin waste!!!! Best of luck to Bryan even though he won’t need it with being undeniably one of the best wrestlers on planet Earth! Kaval aka Lowki wearing a Lay-Cool pink sparkly shirt??? WTFagain? I hope he Warrior Ways his way outta that apparel! Danielson & Kaval have had some of the best matches I have ever seen and it is toooooo bad that won’t happen in the near future at NXT…
What’s NXT???
Stupid-ass name changes is what’s NXT!!! So the next thing on my mind is how and why Joe Hennig the son of Mr. Perfect Kurt Hennig has had to go thru what a lot of WWE two-legged products go through: The WWE copyright owned name change? Michael McFreakinGUILICUTY?!?! That is about as ominous as Richie-God-Darned-Cunningham!!! YOU the there-in mentioned two-legged product belongs to Uncle Vince for all eternity! First it was Colt Cabana tubbed Scotty Goldman.. Atlas DaBone became Ricky Ortiz… Sinn Bodhi became KiZARNY (Vince must have been hittin’ the peizipe that day!?)… Matt Siedel became Evan Bourne… Air Bourne is a cute play on words I suppose BUT ‘EVAN’??? That will definitely strike fear into the hearts of his opponents!!! Run for your life EVAN is after you!!! Bourne & Jericho have been having awesome matches btw! Dolf Ziggler? Maybe that is better than his original handle, Nicky of the Spirit Squad… But why can’t they give these guys awesome larger-than-life names like the Sabastian ‘Iron Sheik’ Slater or Brutus ‘Daren Walsh’ Beefcake or The Junk Yard Dog Tyson Tarver or Moondog Jack Swagger? Jake Hagar is Swagger’s real name which I think is waaayyyy cooler (maybe a tad Viking-ish but waaaayyyy better!) Maybe they named Lucky Cannon because he did okay on the casting couch?… Ohhhh what about Husky f**ckin Harris??? Husky Harris aka Windham Rotundo is the legit kid of IRS Mike Rotundo & nephew to Barry Windham & Grandpa BlackJack Mulligan for cryin’ out loud!!! Is it such a stretch of the imagination that the WWE can’t name the poor guy BlackJack Junior or Husky Mulligan or— and this next one is reeeeeally reaching— Windham Rotundo!?!? WWE is on their 2nd & 3rd generation kick soooo why not let the wrestling royalty carry their own names?…
As far as want has stood out in my meizind… As much as I am an A-Team fan I pity the fool that watched the A-Team stuff on Raw! Just when you have all the answers, I change the channel! Big Show & Swagger is a fun battle to watch cuz both guys are huge but polar opposites! Abyss going kook kook for Koko B. Ware Puffs and destroying Jeff, The Asshole and The Hulkster sure makes TNA intriguing with such a monster heel on the loose! Sheamus winning his strap again (WWE hates when you call it that btw) back during the Fatal 4 Way PPV was excellent! Sheamus has reeeeally upped his game since FCW and belongs in the main events with Cena, Edge & Orton! And I love that Sheamus is soooo white he makes Kevin Thorne look like Wesley Snipes! Jay Lethal freak out Woooooooo freak out wooooooooo is God!!! I think the sneaky-snooper-cam backstage at TNA is a very cool way to differentiate from WWE. CM Punk should have all his hair grown back by the time his mask comes off! Hey did you guys all see the gash in the Half Pint Brawlers head?! It looked like a big ol’ vajayjay!!!
Some of the ridiculous things that have happened in my life in the last few days… Stacy & I saw NXT Star David Otunga in the passport office in Tampa so I yelled over the crowded room to him, “Are your wrestling skills that bad that the US Government is kicking you outta the country?!” He smiled and confessed that I had figured it out!!!
Last week in Miami my lovely fiancé’ & I were doing a signing at the Florida Super Con… After a fun first day of meet & greeting YOU the rasslin’ & comic book & sci-fi universe we headed over to the hotel bar and had some laughs with a shmorckussssssborge of fellow signing guests! The Nasty Boys were nasty! The Iron Sheik & I discussed Persian cuisine & then he called me a jerk! Master Shake illustrated his version of how Stacy & I hooked up! The guy the does the voice of Liono from Thundercats fought with the kid from the Chucky Movies over who would buy the Nasty Boys drinks! Some broad from Battle Star Galactic picked a fight with Knobs which was awesome! Terri Runnels & Stacy Carter arm wrestled! New Jack was the ref! The Soup Nazi from Seinfield & Fred ‘The Hammer’ Williamson entertained us all with road stories and the Nasty boys were like big nasty kids at a camp fire! Richard Horvitz (the voice of Invader Zim) stared at Tracy Brooks boobs & SoCal Vals too until Chris Harris dropkicked him! Tia Carrere, Captain America & The Flash mistook TiTan (The Worldz Giantest Midget) & Tweedle Die (The Worldz largest Love Machine) for Chewbaka & Miss Piggy! The only Dynamite Death Monkiez member absent from this insanity was Blindseed The Worldz only blind stuntman… I’m sure if he had been present Tia would have mistaken him for Ray Charles or the guy that fired Bryan Danielson! The Kevin Nash serenaded Richard Roundtree (the real Shaft) and just as Big Kev was taking it home with, “he’s a bad mouthaf—“ Mr. Roundtree sang back ,”Shut your mouth!”
This past Friday I was very proud to produce a wrestling show in Fort Myers with the MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION & NWA Florida & CCW which was a great success! The Everglade Skunk Ape broke out of his cage and bit TNA Knockout Rosie LottaLove in the ass Sharkboy –style! The local Little League Coach Charlie Whitehead saved the day as I was about to turn the hometown boy’s life into a 3 ring circus! The mainevent 3 way featured former WWE star Bam Bam Neely vs TNA Star Jesse Neal & CCW Champ Marquis Youngston which was great and all the kids loved it! We are gearing up to do our return show Friday September 10, 2010! So stay tuned for updates!!!
Please send me comments, questionz & hate mail! I just thought I’d let you know what was on my meizind!!!…
Whucka whuck whucka Bizitchez & Deizudez! I’m baaaaaaAAAAAAck!!! Now I am going to ask you some queizestionz and I want them answered immediately!!!
Why does the WWE offer free rehab to all wrestlers employed by WWE and/or formerly employed by WWE but do NOT offer free shrinks to support these very same lost souls??? That being said we might still have people like Kanyon, Benoit, Von Erich etc still breathing and enjoying their families and their jobs today! In all seriousness rasslin’ universe, please think about it for a minute from a wrestler’s perspective.
You don’t get fired from McDonalds and then become a wrestler as the next job available to pay the rent with. Wrestling is a boyhood (or girlhood) dream kinda-thing. When you’re a lil kid you wanna become a fireman, race-car driver, astronaut, rock star, super hero, baseball player etc…and the reeeeally kooky ones wanna become wrestlers! Soooo…years later you follow your dream, put your body thru hell, piss off relatives, starve, miss birthdays and anniversaries, go through nasty break-ups, have psychotic fans murder your dog when you don’t return their love, take god-knows-what so your body has an abundance of muscles to fill out your spandex, pills for the pain, booze and debauchery to fill the time away from home, etc etc etc ETC ETC ETC!!!
You (as a wrestler) willingly give up soooo much of yourself to follow your dreams and to have the courage-and-or-stupidity to TRY! It is easy to bad mouth any actor, athlete, musician or wrestler that you see on TV or in a magazine because you view them as a product void of feeling—- “This guy sucks!’ or “I hate her!”— But all performers just like the fans that make us real have feelings. And when the WWE sends you on your future endeavours your dream is destroyed and your mind races with awful thoughts! Wrestlers are not like plumbers, strippers or lawyers because when they get fired they can seek work at other hardware stores, strip clubs & law firms! With wrestling there is pretty much one game in town and Uncle Vince owns it and the souls there-in! A monopoly is a dangerous toy much like a dictatorship or a Blumin’ Onion from Outback! So thank god for TNA, Japan, Mexico and the scattered spatter of indy wrestling shows across the world. But even those only house so many wrestlers at a time and most struggle and starve even after they have sold out Madison Square Garden!
I have had countless conversions with wrestlers that have been released from WWE and some of the thoughts they shared were chilling. What they had contemplated was horrific, I will admit to have had a disturbing thought or two or three since my release from WWE. I truly love wrestling and have ever since I was a boy just like every other wrestler. I believe wrestling to be an impossible art for anyone who doesn’t truly love it. Other wrestlers sometimes pull rank and torture their own as a means to share their pain and experience in loving something that has eaten away at them over the years. I believe that sorrow would be of better use if heard by the ears of a professional psychiatrist instead of taking it out on themselves or on loved ones!
Wrestlers also have an unfailing way of finding ways to be disgruntled even when something like this is written for their benefit. So to bluntly say I mean every word with utmost respect and good intensions! Going through so many drastic highs and lows is hell on the brain and far outweigh the permanent physical injuries the wrestlers endure.
Please send me comments, questionz & hate mail! I just thought I’d let you know what was on my meizind!!!…
Check out the latest CCW show on Friday 23rd April in Florida…
Featuring: TNA Knockout Daffney!!! ECW Superstar Big Vito!!! Jarrelle Clark!!! Ricky Atlas Young! Moses Youngston! The Return of TNA Superstar Jesse Neal in grudge match vs 626 pounder Tweedle Die! When Divas Collide: Shooterella vs Former WWE Diva Champ Stacy The Kat Carter!!! Bam Bam Neely vs ACW Champ Eddie Torres!!! The First ever CCW Florida Tagteam champions: The Cuban Assasin & The Sheik vs The Bandejos! Plus surprise wrestler & much more!!!
Freak out, freak out! Helllll00000 ladies! Peeps!!! Jericho-holics! Edge-heads! Cane-in-ites! Kennedy! KENNEDYYYY! I mean ANDERSONNN!!! Wooooooo!!!! Whatcha gonna doooo?!?!?!?!?! The Warlord of Weird iz back… me, me, me!!! The monster of Memphis! The Lunatic of Lousiville! The OOGA BOOGA of Chattenooga! SiNN Bodhi!!! (Formerly KiZARNY of WWE Smackdown, copyright by Uncle Vince and hiz billionz!) ARE YOU READY?! Bleizogggggg numero 5!!!….
So, in my pervious blog I promised to explain the inside joke “Down the draddle without a paddle!” between Colt Cabana and yourzzzzz truly!… Here goez beizitchez… Once upon a time in the land of Tampa, FL at Uncle Vinnie Mac’s WWE farm team league FCW… A young yet savvy cult fav wrestler, Colt Cabana was having a bad day… Oi vay!!! When along came FCW’s freizendly neighbourhood Kizarnival Freak (ME!) to ask what was wrong…? Colt explained his dilemma and felt like he was up sh*t creek without a paddle… But seeing how Colt is Jewish I said don’t you mean “Down the draidle without a paidle”???… Colt looked at me half annoyed-half giggling… Then the lil Jizzle called me an asshole! He tried to explain that a draidle was NOT some sort of spoon or an ore or… wait… he realized the absurdity of what he was getting suckered into explaining and again giggled, still annoyed and again called me an asshole! Every time after that when the sheizit was about to heizit the fan I would look at my fav Jizzle and say, “Down the draidle without a paidle”… Eventually Dusty Rhodes would say it in his FCW commentary during Colt’s matches… Edge would say it in catering… Billy Kidman (FCW assistant coach) would say it during training… And Colt would just look at me and I knew what he was thinkin’… “Asshole!” Colt, Kidman, Edge and I were on a flight back to Tampa after a Smackdown loop… I secretly asked the flight attendant if she could say the infamous phrase during her pre-flight safety spiel… She smiled and said she would ask the captain… We were all exhausted and sitting in our seats waiting to takeoff… Edge and I were cuddled up side-by-side… Colt was beside us across the aisle and Kidman was approx 10 seats up front… The flight attendant didn’t say what I had asked her to say and that was that… Then the pilot came over the speakers talking about how high we would be flying, weather conditions, “Down the daridle without a Paidle”, and letting us know about the refreshments that would soon be available on the flight… In our sleepy haze Edge, Colt and I all looked at eachother wondering did we just hear what we had thought we had just heard within the pilots subtle monologue…? Suddenly Billy Kidman burst out laughing and it was confirmed! I looked at Colt and Colt looked at me… “ASSHOLE!”
Stand out seizuff from TNA, WWE Raw, Smadown, FCW & NXT
Is It just me or does Darren Yopung look like John Cena covered in mud while wearing a Yahoo Serious wig?! Daniels vs Kali with a side order of Big Show!… If Daniels was Jewish it would definitely be a case of Down the Draidle without a feizuckin’ Paidle yo! Tarver vs Slater both my boyz but thanks Tarver for kickin’ raggity Anne’s ass for stealing my twirly over-the-top-rope jumpy thingy!
Aberham Washington returns to FCW… with a hot rookie bird laughing in place of Tony Atlas… Sorry Tony, Im a blond with fake canz kinda guy!
Uncle Vince gettin’ swerved by Brett! Gimme a Hell Yeah! Heart dynasty vs Cryme Time, eh? Money, Money RIP! I guess Undertaker missed out on catering cuz he eat up Cryme Time and the Dynasty! Highlight Reel… whitty banter followed by a booboo to Edgy’s knoggin! All the matches goin’ into Mania should prove to be nothin’ short of awesome!
Hulkster & Brook bringin’ the drama that maybe fans do not realise is very serious and common amongst wrestlers and their families… I think it truly shows what hurts wrestlers more than in-ring injuries is matters of family and the heart… Jeff Hardy returning to TNA is awesome! The Enigma vs Stylin’ profilin’ Styles was phenomenal! RVD and Sting I think is a very interesting and new way to deliver Sting to the rasslin’ universe and give Mr. Monday Night unique and legendary villain to scuffle with! Flair & AJ vs Hulkster & Abyss leading into a new war TNA vs WWE should be great tv! If anyone can go toe-to-toe with Unky Vince it would definitely be Hogan… BRUUUUTHER!!!
Cindy from Jonesboro AR writes, “Sinn can you please post some more True or Falses the last ones were hilarious!”
Well don’t boo whoo lil Cindy louuuu… True or Falsiez here you go…
1: T/F) I put a Grenade in Johnny Ace’s hand while asking him for my WWE gig back!…
2: T/F) As teenagers, I wrestled Christian to the ground and sat on him while dialling up a girl he was too shy to call himself… inadvertently leading to Captain Charisma losing his cherry!…
3:T/F) I got punched in the face by a one-legged stripper after beating her in a Shirley Temple drinking contest!…
4:T/F) I put a rubber snake in Tracy Brooks shower and scared her sooo bad that she tore down the drapes trying to jump out of her bathroom window!…
5:T/F) I played strip go-fish with Stacy Carter, Kamala, Luna Vashon & Barry Windham in a hotel after a golf tournament!…
6:T/F) I got kicked in the ding-o-ling by Amazing Kong at a Charity Wrestling event!…
Answers after this plug…
Answers:
1 T
2 T
3 F
4 T
5 F
Please send me comments, questionz & hate mail! I just thought I’d let you know what was on my meizind!!!…
Yo yo yo yo yo! YYYYYYOOOOO! The Artist formerly known as Kiz-mutha-f**kin’-Zarny— The Warlord of Weird SiNN Bodhi iz back with my 4th yesssss 4th Blog for the peeps & thugs & nerds & birds (that’s British for girls) of the rasslin’ universe!!!
Okidoki guyz ‘n galz… I would first like to tell y’all about some of the great super stars that the WWE let slip through their billion dollar grip—robbing YOU the great fanz of Rasslin’ of truck loads of entertainment… Sometimes the entertainment biz is filled with politics and shadiness that I am too stupid to explain but only smart enough to know that it happens. Decisions are made strange bedfellows conspire blah blah blah that’s just how the cookie greizumblez!
As you all may or may not know for several years the WWE has implemented various development farm team systems to homegrow their own talent—OVW, Deep South, FCW… Sometimes they cultivate great success; sometimes they drop the ball BUT I’m sure that at the end of every day the carrot of dreams is dangled in front of the hungry rasslers following without question— tax right offs are made and soulless businessmen sleep at night!
OVW had a great tag team in the James Gang (Cassidy Reilly former TNA Raven henchman) + KC James… They were a very mid-South style of tag team that could walk n talk with long bleach blond locks and sparkly robes… Jacob Duncan— A 6ft 10 masked monster that would have given Kane or Taker a run for their money any day of the week! OVW-FCW-ECW Ricky Ortiz aka Atlas DaBone—A former pro football player from NFL, CFL & XFL with endless charisma & athletisism his only crime was that of greeness and over excitement—how dare you love what you do! Mike Kruel & Gavin Spears coulda been the next Brainbusters… Mike was the second coming of Tully Blanchard & Spears is flawless and helped birth Cody Rhodes in the son of a son of a plumber’s early OVW days… Afa Junior aka Manu apparently had heat for his mouth but is a good person from a loving family and he has skills that truly make him yet another Samoan wrestling machine… There are plenty of other stars but the last one I will leave you with is Colt Cabana (formerly WWE SMackdown’s Scotty Goldman)… Colt was my favourite opponent and tag partner at FCW because he was fun & well versed in unique & innovative rasslin’ of various styles… Dusty Rhodes joked saying that he never knew what was gonna happen when the two of us got into the ring and I take that as a compliment ’cause if you can keep the American Dream on his toes you’re doing something right! Before FCW & WWE Colt was and still is a cult favourite ROH star and is currently doing stand-up comedy! “Down the Draidle without a paidle!” (Inside joke!) Stay tuned for my Blog #5 and I will tell that story…..
Q/… Jen 316 writes, “Sinn, you can take crazy amounts of pain who is the opponent that hurt you the worst?”
A/… Well Jen 316 (if that is your REAL name…) Jack Swagger ran me into a turnbuckle one time and it felt like my kidneys got lodged in my throat…
Ricky Ortiz pulled me up off the mat once by my hair while he was accidentally stepping on my hair and he pulled a clump out by the root not unlike pulling a radish outta the garden! Vlad Coslov punched me so hard in OVW I couldn’t chew for 3 weeks–eating was like trying to put food through a mail slot in the front door! But the nastiest thing ever was my own stupid fault… I was laying on the mat freshly D.D.T.’d by Jake the Snake Roberts… He shoved the snake he had brought to the ring down the front of my spandex and Spot (that was the snake’s name) bit me inches away from my peepee! That sucked!!! Pardon the pun!!!
Stand out steizuff from my lil pea brain about RAW, Smackdown, ECW & TNA…
When I saw Capt. Charisma step into the ring at RAW I didn’t need to have a phone chat with Miss Cleo to know that Christian was getting fed to the lions (I mean Sheamus!)…
DX vs CM Punk & Luke Gallows vs Big Show & Miz was AWESOME!!! New unified tag champs… that’s ShowMiz! The only thing that woulda made it better was if Jarred from Subway was the special guest ref and maybe Pearl Harbored Gallows with a $5 Footlong!! Instead he just sat at ringside counting his lucky stars and his carbs! Then HBK Rodney King’d the sh*t outta Teddy Long!!! Good gravy playa!!!Ricky Bobby setting up matches on the road to Rasslemainia! If you’re not first you’re last!!! Tough love ‘n purple socks—Randy vs Cody! A meanass Cross-Rhodes sprinkled with Sheamus’ lucky charms fellah!
FCW standout in my meizind: The Rotundos & Wes Brisco win over the the Ouso Bros & Donnie Marlow (Haku Jr)… Hakunamintata beizitchez! ECW’s/ FCW’s commentator Byron Saxton is sooooo white sounding he makes Brian Gumble sound like a thug!!! Johnny Morrison layeth the 3 wayeth Smacketh Down against Kane and the Euro-Disney-Triple-H Drew McIntyre… Great false finish with the big Scott hitting Kane with ‘MY’ gd finisher on his Intercontinental title belt…
Speaking on stolen finishers… I love you Sheamus BUT Ayy-yo Razor Ramon called and wants his Celtic Cross back (I mean the Razor’s Edge!)… Maybe just find a different way to call it your own— there are enough great legends coaching you backstage (Arn Anderson, Mike Rotundo, Dean Malenko, Ricky Steamboat etc…)—bug one of them if you can’t think of something original by yourself… Oh yeah I love you too Beth my sweet Glamizon HOWEVER… The Muscle Buster belongs to another certain scary beast….Samoa Joe!
I reeeeally enjoy Knox he has the stealth and size of a Samoan and the scariness of Snitsky or a uhhhh Samoan! (Maybe sprinkled with a dash of Hill Billy Jim)—and I enjoyed his Elimination Qualifying match with Truth even though he lost… What’s up Knox?! What’s up?! Hey speaking of Snitsky doesn’t that name remind you of a booger? As in—I picked my nose and pulled out a big Snitsky! Rey Rey vs Dolf Zigger Elimination Chamber qualifying match was awesome…Sweet powerslam outta thin air Dolf-a-doodler! I think Dolf shoulda stole it gettin a rub from such a great star like Mysterio… That coulda been the start of a great fued… ‘Cause Dolf is a fast moving X-Division version of Mr. Perfect that could be a very different style of villain for Rey Rey to play with… Mysterio is used to the David and Goliath situation soooo—in my heizumble opinion— Dolf vs Rey Rey would be a nice change of pace!
CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio scufflin’ on Smackdown was nothing short of tremendous… Punk’s Straight Edge Manson Family came close to helping their saviour get the win but a beat down nonetheless… Punk you fiendishly fiendy fiend!!!
Ohhhh Fat Edgeward… Brutus Beefcake + Charlie Manson = CM Punk… Tee hee, you’re silly…
Smackdown mainevent Taker vs Jericho with Edge at the commentator’s table was a great ride… Just no last ride! Well one last ride—followed by a spear—then a code breaker… Deadman: Zero… Filthy Canadian: One!
Million Dollar man in the Hall of Fame! Money, money, money, moneeeEEEEEEYYY!!!
Jerry Jerry Jerry!!! WTF?!?!?! Allz I gotza ta say iz Bree iz a man!… I checked! GoldDust! Yoshi Totsu! Nobody makes Kaylan Croft bleed his own blood!!! Especially when WWE is PG for f**k sakes!!!! P.S. Trent Baaaaaretttaaaa!!!!!!
Christian losing to Big Zeek has a silver lining… If Ezekiel Jackson is the last ECW champ… And Ecw is ka-putsky… Then Big Zeek killed the town not the man of Peeps for the Peeps!… NXT, eh? Well I think the general consensus is that what can Miz possibly teach Brian Daneilson aka The American Dragon aka Daniel Bryan? Danielson is one of the most talented wrestlers I have ever witnessed and he is truly AWESOME!!! Soooo kiddiez let’s see whats NXT???…
Elimination Chamber… I think Sheamus’ title reign was prematurely cut short… Cena doesn’t need the strap to get over with the fans however Sheamus is still building momentum… I did like Teddy steeling a pin onRandy early in the Chamber… I think sort sort of 3-way with Randy, Teddy & Cody at Mania would be interesting or since Good ol’ Shaemo ain’t the champ now he would make an unlikely yet cool tag partner for Randy at Mania against Teddy & Cody… Jericho winning his Chamber match sets him up for Mania against Edge… I can’t wait to see the two filthy Canadians kick the Tim Hortons outta eathother!
Impact: The Hulkster showin’ 6 Pac n’ Hall who’s da man BROTHER!!! Against all odds Mr. Anderson—ANDERSON delivered three matches of pure rasslin’ entertainment ripe with bleach blond goodness and Pope— You had me at Whoopie!!! The Pope and AJ ‘Stylin’ & profilin’ Styles proves to be the start of an exciting feud! Wooooo!!! Daffeny muging Tara reeeeally turned me on! She’s soooo evil me likey! Nice to see Beer Money back on tv! The promo between Anderson, ANDERSON & Angle was awesomely intense it’s real! It’s damn real!
Shameless Plug:
CCW Friday Feb 26!!!
Featuring: Eric Escobar Perez vs Bam Bam Nealy (former body guard to Chavo Guerrero)!… The Original Cuban Assassin + the NWA FL Champ the Sheik in tag action! Former ECW Star Ricky ‘Atlas’ Ortiz & TNA’s Jesse Neal vs Shawn Gavin Spears & SiNN Bodhi The Atrist formerly known as Kizarny! Texas Bull-rope match! The CCW debut of Former FCW Star Vic Adams! The Dynamite Death Monkiez open challenge! PLUS much much more!!!
Please send me comments, questionz & hate mail! I just thought I’d let you know what was on my meizind!!!…
Zuffily duffily poopoo doooo zingy zingy zoooo humanoidz! (That’s NOT carny btw, that’s pure retardedness)! Sooooo kiddiez, I have lotz of creizap to spill about the rasslin’ world this week…
True or False KiZarnival crap:
(T/F) I hired a gay midget to slap Gene Snitski?
(T/F) I witnessed Undertaker dancing & singing to himself to Truth’s What’s Up’ song backstage at a Smackdown Live Event?
(T/F) I was told by Dr. Tom Prichard of the Heavenly Bodies to wear shoes when I had my first meeting with Vince McMahon?
(T/F) I paid Eric Young with icecream to do a bare handed head stand in a McDonald’s bathroom?
(T/F) I made Arn Anderson laugh by farting on Ryan Bradock?
(T/F) I made Dean Melenko laugh by farting on Beth Phoenix?
(T/F) I am mentally scared since ODB was the first girl EVER to fart on me?
I watched FCW this week… Sabastian Slater stop WOOO’ing—Flair and Zack Ryder already do that and DON’T listen to ‘Creative’ when they tell you to cut your hair STUPID! You too Lance Archer!… Tyson Tarver’s punch takes 1.9 seconds… about the same amount of time I was on Smackdown! Why do all the FCW guys remind me of iRobot??? And speaking of sci-fi…Justin Angel— Buck Rogers called and wants his space jammiez back! Biddi biddi biddi!!!
The above True or False KiZarnival crap: ALL TRUE!!!!!!!!!!! No joke!
Cindy from Fort Wayne IN writes, “SiNN please go to TNA and beat up Eric Young!” Well Miss Cindy, if everybody in the rasslin’ universe bugs Dixie Carter & the Hulkster enough to hire me at TNA I promise to hunt down ErnieF’n Young and gut his dumb Canadian ass like a weizone fish teizwo fish greizeen fish bleizue fish!
The stand out steizuff in my humble zingy zing oppinion iz as follows….
Great matches on Smackdown Jericho vs Truth—cool to see the torch passin’ stuff going on with Truth or maybe Y2J was just still six sheets to the wind, eh Punchy???… McIntyre (The Euro Disney HHH, give me my finisher back you jerk!) vs Morrison… Rey vs HBK Feizuckin’ awesome dudez!!! Trent Baretta & Kaylan Croft (Known as the Dude Busters in FCW lol) along with the Woo Woo guy had a very athletic match on ECW against GoldDust, Huricane & Yoshi… Herro fatboy!!! Big Zeek’s arms are bigger then my legz soooo Christian run for your life ’cause my arms are bigger then your legs!!!
Sheamus vs Cena… Sheamus vs Orton at the Rumble, Sheamus bustin’ up Edgeward’s return speech… Sheamus you are hangin’ with the best in the world way to go fellah— Everyone is after Sheamus’ lucky charms!!! Gail Kim (whom I love & respect) won a mean ass match against Alecia Fox (whom I also love & respect…yummmm CHOCOLATE!) with Colt Cabana’s very well executed (yet stolen) finisher… But Fox redeemed herself by slapping the taste outta Webster’s mouth at ringside… Ooops, my bad, it was Carlton from Fresh Prince!
Double Jeff vs Mr. Anderson ANDERSON was fun… I would like to see Beer Money vs Scott Hall & Shawn Waltman me thinkz it would be neato! Hulkster vs Foley could be the second coming of Flair vs Funk with some stank on it!
My chubby chilhood freizend Edge winning the Royale with Cheese was very cool & great response on RAW too fatsoooo….
ECW being replaced with WWE’s next innovation in sports entertainment???… No more Abraham Washington show, then??? WTF?!?! (Insert Tony Atlas laughter HERE!<<<)…
Comedy banter with Punk & his sports entertainment Manson Family & DX made me giggle… The Elimination qualifying matches were great… HBK vs Orton I loved the finish— The Viper steeling a sneaky school boy outta Shawn’s signature kip up… HHH vs Swagger really showed that Swagger can wrestle well against people other the Christian… Cody & his purple socks were no match for Cena kinda like Chuck fighting Stone Cold on an airplane— He could see you Cody I guess you couldn’t see him—even Helen Keller could see those purple socks! Teddy Dibiase worlds new strongest man! Jamician food apparently disagrees with Big Shows tummy! Vinnie Mac squaring off with Captain F**kin’ Kirk!!! Hell yeah! Better then Vince vs God!!!… AND don’t get me started on Willie Shatner’s WWE spoken word theme songs!!! SOOOOO GREAT!!! POSSIBILITY THE GREATEST MOST GENIUS THING EVER!!! That will be a Youtube classic mark my wordz!!! Bret Hart & Will Shatner would be the greatest tag team in the galaxy (better then KiZARNY & Vincent ‘Doink’ McMAHON!!! They would go where no tag team has gone before!!!…
RIP Jack Brisco.
This weekend in St. Pete FL I am gonna cuddle with the Amazing Kong and kick the holy poopoo outta one of TNA’s heroe-in-the-making—Jesse Neal! Shawn Spears (formerly Gavin Spears of ECW) has his work cut out for him against Atlas Dabone (formerly Ricky Ortiz of ECW)! And if Barry Windham gets in MY way I will show him and Tony Danza who’s the freakin’ boss!!!
Shameless Self-Promotion:
If you wanna see your favorite Warlord of Weird SiNN BODHI return to TNA then please Tweet Dixie Carter @ TNADixie with ‘Hire KiZARNY!’ And spread the weizord!!! Peas n’ Carrotzzzzz!!!!
Just thought I’d let you know what was on my meizind!!!….
If you have comments, questions or hate mail please email me at: kizarnivalfreak@wrestling101.com
Kneizock kniezock bitchez!!! I’m back—The KiZARNiVAL FREAK—The Warlord of Weird—The Freak Unique— SiNN Bodhi—with the next instalment of my rasslin’ retardedness!!! I think today I will start off with a backstage story involving my bff Edge & ECW Superstar Yoshi Tatsu… Now it iz no secret that Edge—In his self-written autobiography— confessed after soooo many years to being the culprit who shaved the word ‘FAT’ into my leg hair while I was passed out once upon a time (on a rare bender since I have been straight edge since I can remember)…
So… the thing is that Edge, Christian and I for some stupid reason always refer to each other as ‘FAT’. Fatso, fatty, fatkid, & so forth… So fast forward to FCW years later… Edge enters and a young Yoshi Tatsu asks me, “Preeze, introduce me!” I told him to call Edge fatboy and since Yoshi barely speaks Engerish he didn’t get the gag. “Herro fatboy” Yoshi says to Edge as the rated R superstar’s already over-sized eyes started to bug. Edge pretended to get mad and walked away in disgust. Yoshi, thinking he accidentally offended Edge, almost peizooped himself! Yoshi, “why you tell me say FAT Kizaarny???” I reassured poor Yoshi Edge was just playing and not to worry… At the end of the FCW tv taping Yoshi again approached Edge & said, “Sianara fatass” (I may or may not have had something to do with that)… If Edge’s looks could kill Yoshi Tatsu they would have and he stormed out leaving Yoshi a bundle of nerves. Not long after that at a Smackdown taping in Tampa at the St. Pete Times Forum Yoshi was determined to say hello correctly to the Ultimate Opportunist and myself… Before Yoshi could utter a ‘herro’ Edge cut him off with an angry “NO!!!” and walked away leaving Yoshi looking at me like a beaten Chinese girl (even though he’s Japanese). I re-iterated that Edge was just playing but Yoshi was beside himself. I felt bad & asked Fat Edge to preeze ret Yoshi off the hook & he agreed that it was time…BUT!… Yoshi had gone to sit in the crowd and we didn’t know where he was until the end of an almost 12 hour day… Edge finally hugged Yoshi & and told him that he was the fattest guy he had ever met and that he looked like a sumo! Yoshi looked at Edge & I and finally squeaked out, “You bos are bery bery fat!!!”
Okidoki as far as stand out stuff in my opinion from both TNA & the various WWE brands…
Ummmm, again I will say that Hornswoggle tangling with foe John Heater was fabulous! Santino Crocket & Mark Henry Tubs pickin’ on Swagger was cute. An ECW moment that had me riveted was Santino guest hosting Aberham Washington’s talk show with Tony Atlas & Vladimir Koslov…Taker vs Mysterio wow! What a great story between trepidatious underdog against leery grim reaper… Santino is the Balky Bartokimus of Sports Entertainment and a freakin’ genius!
It is really nice to see the new guys gettin’ some exposure like Kaylan Croft & Trent Baretta but I do think the Hart Dynasty deserves alot more credit. Tyson Kidd & Bulldog Jr. are puritan rasslin’ machines!
Thank god for CM Punk helping Festis get off the Shirely Temples! No longer catatonic—taking his Flinstones & saying his straight edge prayers!
Angelina Love did great in her return debut match against what’s-her-face… I think Mr. Anderson… ANDERSON will be a great asset to TNA and give Abyss a very different style of opponent. I wrestled at an Indy show and watched Ken wrestle a great & fun match against another great yet relatively unknown wrestler TextBook Tyson Dux… They did a little song & dance had the humans laughin’ then jumped into one hell of a catch as catch can match.
I don’t think I will ever get tired of hearing Pope call Orlando Jordan ‘Whoopi’! Brian Kendrick is a great TNA acquisition too and can reeeeally breath heel life into the ultra talented yet androgynous X-Division… I would like to see Spanky vs Kid Kash (high flying deizouche vs high flying deizouche!)
Cindy from Wisconsin writes, “Oh all-knowing Kizzy Bear, will you ever return to WWE or TNA?“…
Well, sweetums, if the good humanz of the rasslin’ universe wanna see me, SiNN Bodhi (Formerly KiZARNY of WWE Smackdown) raising hell & jelly beans on tv again I suggest you tweet “Hire KiZARNY” to Dixie Carter at ‘TNADixie’ ’cause I sure would like to get my hands on Mick Foley and see who the real masochist is!
P.S. Some guy wrote in— I believe his screen name is Jackass— saying I am a dummy for enjoying the Nastys & Santino… Well, did you ever see the part in Jay & Silent Bob Strike back when they track down the cyber dorks that bashed them and kicked the road apples outta them… Nuff said…
Shameless Plug:
Sex, Stunts & Rock n Roll! SiNN Bodhi & The dYNAMITE dEATH mONKIEZ live in action!!! Sneak a peak at the underground show that is scaring everyone! Featuring the Warlord of Weird SiNN Bodhi & hiz cast of maniacz!!! Worldz Giantest Midget! Worldz Only Blind Stuntman! Worldz Largest Lap Dancer! Worldz most F’d up Magician & Hot Chickz!!
Just thought I’d let you know what was on my meizind!!!….
If you have comments, questions or hate mail please email me at: kizarnivalfreak@wrestling101.com
Howdy ho guyz and galz!!! At the invite of the computer nerdz here at Wrestling101.com this is your friendly neighborhood Kizarnival Freak SiNN Bodhi reporting to you—the good humanz of the rasslin’ universe—about what yours truly has bouncing on my brain from a professional standpoint …I promise (fingerz crossed like a true carny) to give you an candid opinion on what iz happenin’ as it pertains to people who fight while wearing spandex…
Firstly, to inform any pessimists and/or arm-chair quarter backs that are asking them-ignorant-selves what qualifies me to write a rasslin’ column…Well besides my 15 minutes on WWE Smackdown, I have wrestled all over the world for over a decade and have wrestled and/or spent time around just about all the rasslers you wanna know about in some shape or form… I have: farted on Jake the Snake while he was asleep, imitated Dusty Rhodes to his face, had Undertaker ask me about a booboo I got on my finger, I drive-bye oil-checked Christian as he spoke with Vinnie Mac, bled my own blood into Raven’s mouth purposely by accident, witnessed Edge dry hump Hornswoggle, bowled with Jimmy Hart and Kamala, got pulled into U.S. customs with Kali, Jesse and Festus etc!!! You can play the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon with me as it relates to the squared circle… Sooooo, I am a freak that has a unique perspective from the inside of the guard-rail looking out and I am ready to share that perspective with YOU!!!!
A good place to start this column is with yesterdays’ RAW vs TNA… What a night!!! Bret on RAW and Hulkster on TNA… Who’d a thunk it??? I thought it was clever to have Hulk on just before RAW started so the rasslin’ universe would be sucked in and TNA would own the ratings that evening early on… I am sure there was a tone of channel surfing zipping and flipping back and forth totally screwing up the ratings!
The stand out stuff in my mind last night was the Nasty Boyz spray painting, yelling and eating donuts! AJ vs Kurt! Phenomenal, it’s true! HHH and Hornswoggle’s nonsense with Santino! (I love that guy! Lol) We got pulled over one time together, shhhhh! Son-a-ma-gun, don’t tell Vince! I think Kong is definitely amazing but all the girls worked reeeally hard and I wanna lick Maryse’s spray tan totally off! Hey Frenchy, ces que say what’s up?
I hope Bret and Shawn get to tag or something that would be nifty at some point… I’m sure when and if Bret and Vinnie Mac scuffle at Mania, Bret will make it great as it possibly can be!
I am proud of the ginger haired fellah, Sheamus… In FCW (WWE’s developmental system) he was Meat and I was Bull Durham lol… Even thou he is still very wet behind the years I think he is doing a great job! Sheamus and little Evan Borne I thought told a short but great little story about David and Goliath… I have rassled both—The Irish Rookie of the Year AND that flying squirrel Evan Borne and they are both a fun ride!
I do agree with Double J that Beer Money is the best tag team going today (Maybe with the exception of the Nasty Boyz!… And the Bella twins… And Pat Patterson and Gerry Brisco… and the Rock n Sock Connection too!) I almost love the Nastys as much as Santino! I personally don’t wanna see Sean Morley (formerly Val Venis) strip (but I’m sure everyone with a vagina and possibly Eric Young does!) Morley is a great wrestler and I never understood why he wasn’t ever in the big main-eventski… Jeff Hardy was a pleasant surprise from TNA and me thinks him and Homicide could have a very creative and interesting feud… They are both innovativeand yet very contrasting (kinda like a Rey Mysterio vs Angle or Kane match).
I think the funniest thing I heard all night was the Pope calling Orlando Jordan a Whoopi Goldberg look-a-like! Hahahahah good stuff my niiii— good stuff. I think TNA proved that WWE has competition in that TNA has legends and up-and-comers alike with a boat load of talent…
Competition is healthy and we’ll just see what happenz???
Just thought I’d let you know what was on my meizind!!!….
If you have comments, questions or hate mail please email me at: kizarnivalfreak@wrestling101.com
