The Redman Report: WWE Raw 21/3/11: “Something something Wrestlemania!”

Raw..Raw..Raw. Oh Raw, with your 60-second matches and your nonsensical booking and your great Cole and King angle. Oh how I’ve seen you pretty much every week for a while now, but oh how you still manage to chug along on the Road to Wrestlemania! *point*

Seriously. It was the same show we’ve had for like 4 weeks now, and by that I mean it was a good show.

Michael Cole sticking his tongue out at Lawler made Michael Cole coming out worth it.

Triple H’s promo was…a Triple H promo. Whatever. The destruction of Ted was…whatever as well. I’m like 18 months past caring about him. BUT, the latest Taker/Hunter video was pretty cool. I mean, anything that involves ARN ANDERSON and RICKY STEAMBOAT is going to be great right off the bat. But I enjoyed it. These videos are the only thing making this match seem like anything close to as big as they’re claiming it is.

You know, it just isnt Raw without Evan Bourne coming out to be squashed in under a minute by the guy who he shockingly upset the week before. And the world keeps on turnin’. Anyway, if they’re given any time at all it should be a fun match at Mania.

Michael Cole bein’ a penis to the women, again, its such a lame thing to do because a) EVERYONE AGREES WITH HIM, THAT DOESNT MAKE HIM A HEEL, and b) I was, I swear, enjoying the match. On the plus side, I dont know that I’ve ever wanted a heel punched in the face more, and I was begging for Eve to take him down and kick the crap out of him. Hopefully at some point they let Eve get something on Cole.

THEY CANT WAIT 7 DAYS TO GET THEIR HEAT BACK?! Man, this show sometimes. The Corre beatdown on Smackdown was so great. SO great. They genuinely got the upper hand, totally unexpectedly too. So what do they do? Kane and Show just get their revenge 5 minutes later, just like that. Screw these people.

Its funny, during Cena’s first interview I sat there thinking “That just looks exactly like backstage”, but for some reason I never realised that was the whole point until the end of the show.

Another great Cole/King segment, shock of all horrors. Again the dead mother references were needless, but apart from that this was another fine promo, and even moreso than Cole, JERRY LAWLER IS GREAT. Cannot understate this. For the last two weeks, King’s face has just been incredible. What a wonderful, wonderful babyface. The King/Swagger brawling was pretty great too. The build for this match is on a whole other level.

Morrison and Dolph was good for the 2 minutes they worked. Seemed weird to give pretty much the match away before Mania, but then I remembered how they used to promote MITB. This is Raw. Anywho, really enjoyed this, Trish working with Michelle and Layla was pretty great, she looks like she’s back in the swing of things now. I’m still holding out for a singles match against…well, either of them really.

Rey vs Orton in a babyface match is like the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. And it was pretty strange, actually. It wasnt enough of a match to be anything, but I will say, the draping DDT-619 sequence was pretty awesome. In a major match that would be a hell of a nearfall. Doing an angle with the bus made sense after before, and it was pretty good save for the fake Mrs Orton. I’ve no idea if it was the same acrtress as last time, a different one, or his actual wife, but in any case she sucked. Orton has terrible taste in fake wives. Anyway, Orton-Punk continues to build well, and I’m as interested as I could ever be in Orton facing Punk.

Riley being back is pretty stupid storyline-wise, but otherwise I’m glad that he is because he’s a pretty great talker. Lets just forget he was ever fired. Miz’s promo was fine, I mean…nothing particularly wrong with it, but it didnt justify the hype on the show and it came off so flat after weeks and weeks of The Rock. However, John Cena revealing his GENIUS PLAN and coming out to kill something was pretty fun and made it worthwhile. Rock next week is gonna be great, I wonder what on earth they’re going to do while still leaving enough on the table for Mania.