Welcome everyone once again to that time of the month where the kettle goes on
and the phone gets unplugged. It’s time to focus on the US Scene’s
hottest column, Dr Reed’s Rumours.
As always I’m your sensational host Dr Christopher Reed and I want to
start this month’s column off with an apology. I want to apologise to
all my fans whom logged onto Wrestling101.com in the last two months and frantically
searched for the October and November Editions of the Rumours, unfortunately
I was unable to deliver the rumours in the last two months due to a Halloween
‘treat’ that I received, let’s just say my hand is much better
now and typing is no longer a problem. I will however make it up to you fans
who felt lost and empty inside when there search was unsuccessful, I will provide
not four but five, yes that’s five rumours for your delight this month,
seeing as it is the season to be jolly!
Now my grovelling apology is over and done with its time to progress onto this
months rumours inspired as always by World Wrestling Entertainment. In this
frantic world in which we inhabit, everyone needs to take a moment to relax
and enjoy (no this isn’t a coffee advert) but I advise you to take a break
from your hectic lives and read these rumours spun by Wrestling101’s resident
“king of cryptology”.
This month WWE fans across the globe are treated to not one but two PPVs. With
ECW’s December to Dismember, dismembered for another year (or forever)
the WWE now heads to December 17th, for the last pay per view of the year, Armageddon.
With an inferno match, a dream tag team match and a last ride match already
confirmed this PPV is surely living up to its name, I would say it is inevitable
for us to see Armageddon on December 17th. And now something else that is inevitable,
without further a due I present to you Wrestling 101 readers five rumours that
deal with current storylines in the WWE.
Before you go on your weekly shop, you must remember a lot of things like your
shopping list, credit card, and here’s one more thing to remember:
** You will be misinformed by MANY of the rumours you read in the
next couple of lines. Dr Christopher Reed will not be held responsible: BY
READING THIS TO YOURSELF YOU ARE WAVING ANY LEGAL PROSECUTIONS AGAINST CHRISTOPHER
REED. **
1. In England it’s common to start the day off with
a cup of tea and across the waters in the United States it’s not un-common
for people to drink coffee as their morning beverage, so it’s not un-common
for your favourite doctor to start off this months rumours, with a rumour
regarding one of my favourite non-wrestlers Eric Bischoff.
After recently reading his fine book and reading the splendid review
written by wrestling101’s Tony Cottam, I’ve found that a lot of
what Bischoff says is in fact true, controversy does indeed create cash. Where’s
the evidence you ask? When Eric Bischoff returned to Raw for one night only
as the Acting Raw General Manager, on November 6th, controversy was the motto
of the night, ranging from his re-starting of the Intercontinental Championship
match, to his ordering of Jim Ross to face Chris Masters. Eric Bischoff is
deemed as pro wrestling’s most hated man, Bischoff knows this and uses
it to his advantage. Raw has been lacking a certain factor since Vince McMahon
‘took out the trash’ in December last year, in some circles Bischoff’s
removal as the RAW GM could be classed as controversial, and placing him back
as the Acting GM on November 6th created some more controversy thus adding
to this vicious cycle. As his entrance music says ‘I’m back’
and he will be, we have seen what happened when he was given one night of
unadulterated power, when the inevitable happens I’m sure Bischoff will
lead a Raw revolution against both his friends and enemies.
2. On Sunday December 17th wrestling fans across the globe
will witness some shocking scenes, from Montel Vontavious Porter’s neon
ring attire to Kane feeling right at home as he goes one-on-one against Smackdown’s
MVP in an inferno match. In the history of the WWE there has only ever been
three inferno matches and Kane has participated in all of them. Describing
an inferno match as brutal doesn’t quite cover it, as the objective
is to simply set your opponent on fire in order to win. So to describe it
as hell on earth is probably more fitting. Kane is no stranger to deep dark
lonely places but something tells this Doctor that MVP is only used to doing
some things on his own. How much pain and suffering can MVP bare? What will
be the damage limitation going into this match and what will it be coming
out of it? Maybe MVP should get his plastic surgeon on speed dial or better
still get a list of people he would like as pallbearers at his impending funeral.
3. Whilst writing my monthly column for the NPWA
web site I’ve noticed I don’t use this phrase very often “rumour
has it” so it’s now making its debut here in the Rumours for wrestling101.com.
Rumour has it that “The Wonderkid” Jonny Storm has being bouncing
from wrestling ring to wrestling ring all over the states recently courtesy
of his good friend Scott Hall. When he’s not appearing in US, Storm
spends a lot of his time over in Austria or Germany and has also this year
managed to make 5 appearances with Wigan based UK Wrestling company Nitro
Pro Wrestling Alliance. Your favourite Doctor managed to catch up with “The
Wonderkid” backstage at NPWA’s
Bad Intentions event and I asked him what his intentions are for 2007.
He replied, “Chris (I wasn’t going to correct him, after all he
is former FWA All England Champion) I’ve found that in 2006 I’ve
had nothing but total none stop action and I’m looking to continue that
through to 2007”. Will “The Wonderkid” be joining the likes
of The Fallen Angel, Captain Charisma and many more in 2007? Will the cruiserweight
from Harlow, Essex soon be relocating to Nashville Tennessee? One thing is
for sure Wrestling101 fans, 2007 will be taken by storm!
4. For many, new years day is a time to recover from the
previous nights activities whilst you reflect on the previous year and contemplate
your actions towards the incoming year. But for one individual January 1st
2007 will be a day full of headaches and pain and he will probably have plenty
of time to reflect upon his decision whilst lying in a hospital bed. The husband
(soon to be ex-husband) to the Queen of Pop Kevin Federline will go one on
one with John Cena. Whether or not this is in fact some sort of publicity
stunt or K-Fed does in fact has a passion for the wrestling business who knows?
John Cena is known worldwide for his love for fighting so K-Fed has either
picked the right guy to challenge or the wrong guy to want to fight. An informant
of mine who is close to Mr Federline has informed me that he has been hitting
the gym more than ever and is clearly preparing himself for his match doing
activities ranging from drinking egg yolk to doing extensive workouts with
Melina. I doubt his personal trainer Jonny Nitro put him through the excruciating
torment that NPWA Governor Luke Marsden’s trainer did in this training
video. In my personal and professional opinion I’d say that K-Fed
is playing with fire and will probably burn quicker than an album that was
released entitled “Playing With Fire”.
5. Next Monday night on Raw there will be a 30-man battle
royal with the winner going on to face WWE Champion John Cena later in the
night for the championship. I’ve done some cryptic math and I’m
predicating that we could see the return of a past Raw star in this match,
as WWE Legend Dusty Rhodes has been seen frequenting Mr McMahon’s limousine
whilst travelling on the road with the WWE. Is Dusty hoping to enter this
battle royal and have the opportunity to become WWE Champion? I very much
doubt that (but never say never) I do believe that Dusty Rhodes is trying
to persuade Mr McMahon to bring back a certain gold star to enter the battle
royal. Before the curtain is called on Monday will we witness the return of
the man formally known as Goldust?
And that is all this month and this year fans for the Dr Reed’s Rumours,
but have no fear ‘the king of cryptology’ will be back next year
and until then I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Can’t wait until next year? In the mean time why not check out my new
column entitled “The
Reed Report”.
Dr Reed