Well welcome all! The powers that be offered me a chance to write a column on the Indies, and of course I jumped at the chance to do it. Hopefully I want to give everyone a chance to become well aware and versed in some of the lesser known independent feds that dot America which often get overshadowed by the ones that get more coverage.
But I’ll probably find more things to talk about than just the feds specifically. It is going to be more about whatever is on my mind that day, even if it will be sometimes cluttered and incoherent. Despite that, it’ll be from a female perspective, and no there will be no ring-rat/teenybopper moments, no matter what some people would assume. Hopefully you’ll get something out of this, whether it be knowledge, intrigue, disgust, enjoyment, agreement, or whatever emotion or feeling you have. At least then I’ll know I have done what I wanted to do.
CZW and the booking from hell
Combat Zone Wrestling has come a long way from its early days 4 yrs ago. Yes we all remember the days of scissors, lightubes, barbed wire and no talent death match workers. Guys like Lobo, Mad Man Pondo, Wifebeater and Zandig, the owner, didn’t really give fans outside of blood marks much to get into other than regurgitation of meals previously eaten. But the times have changed, partly because of progression and partly because of their own stupidity.
More of their death match guys were getting put out for long periods of time (Jun Kasai anyone?) and now the undercard was beginning to be filled by guys who could wrestle, like Trent Acid, Johnny Kashmere and Justice Pain. But the XPW war hit, and in the battle for Philly, the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission banned weapons that could injure the fans, with their debris. The lightubes and scissors they loved before, they no longer had access to use.
Fast forward to now. The big major feud they now have is the HIV club vs. Zandig. Messiah, their leader wants to overthrow Zandig, just so CZW could be a death match and blood free fed. Um, I may be a little out of line, but shouldn’t the owner be promoting his wrestlers, instead of himself in main events, proudly displaying the “muscle gut” and his complete Vince McMahonesque appearance on shows. Also… putting together the guys in your fed who are the only all around performers does seem to make things once sided. So now the top guys are feuding with the owner, in the power struggle to end all power struggles. The question is who will take Zandig’s side?
Nick Gage is logical, he’s been in the fed since the beginning, and his former partner, Nate “I am the illegitimate child of the Ultimate Warrior” Hatred are now feuding since Hatred has joined the HIV. So well now that’s two against the five, so who else do you call? Someone who can wrestle? Someone who can promo?
No they get Wifebeater…
I know the death match fans take him seriously, but god how can anyone else take him seriously? Its been almost a year since his much publicized retirement match, due to multiple injuries. And now they’ve magically healed and he’s back, with weed whacker and potato chips in hand. What a bloody miracle, to bad he’s now about as credible as Low Ki finally sorting out his anger management issues.
And now we get to the inevitable question about the last two on Zandig’s side. Honestly it’s completely unknown to most, but the few they venture a guess for is Lobo and Nick Mondo. One is gone and the other is probably the most recognizable member of CZW. I wouldn’t be so critical if it wasn’t so poorly drawn out. It is the blatant main event for Cage of Death 5, and although I love CZW to death, despite some of my blatant dislikes, this looks like it might screw them over royally so to speak.
The undercard is probably the best its ever been at. You get regulars like Jimmy Rave, Tony Mamaluke, Chris Cash, Sonjay, B-Boy, Greg Matthews, Derek Frazier and Adam Flash to name a few, (since I can’t seem to think of more) who have become fixtures at the shows, but they’re just thrown together in some matches. Alright there is some continuity, I mean Trent Acid has been having a sort of feud with Homicide for the longest, but Homicide isn’t a regular yet, at least in my mind. Jimmy Rave may be another in a half a feud, the only real one that’s still being built up from Redefined and the Ironman tournament. Other than that I can’t see anything remotely resembling a feud in CZW.
Doing right–well at least to me
Okay I think I’ve been pessimistic enough in my anti CZW so, here’s some of the things I do like…
Bianca: She’s a chick that does a 450 splash. You can’t help but love that.
Trent Acid vs. Jimmy Rave: Dear god give me this match and I’ll love you forever Zandig, including the Muscle gut.
Chris Hero: This is my hero (yes the pun was intended). Seriously, he may not look like your jacked up WWE prototype (and no that was not directed at John Cena), he is going to be big when he gets more notoriety, and CZW is a place where he can be introduce to the East Coast. (ROH DO TAKE NOTICE!)
Using the students: I know people don’t want to see them wrestle, but you know, you give them time to shine and Niles Young, Corey Kastle and Jude will be the next guys that are going to be the stars of CZW, whether we like it or not.
Jimmy Jacobs vs. Alex Shelley vs. Homicide vs. Chris Hero: I read this, I screamed, I smiled, I was tempted to wet myself but I thought otherwise. Yes obviously that match is a dream match for me…and any chance to see the barbaric berserker Jimmy Jacobs is great (Huss!) Alex Shelley in his technical ability, Hero is my mother f’n hero, and Homicide still scares me silly but he’s so cool to watch, (Bitter Friends, Stiffer Enemies…GET THAT! Its worth it just to see him vs. Steve Corino)
-Bboy is the So-Cal Punisher.. Not the new age punisher, it doesn’t sound as good.
-Trent Acid has great hair…
-John House needs to be muzzled from colour commentating permanently. He is more annoying that Lawler during a diva’s match.
-For the ROH fan that was intelligent enough to run into CM Punk’s fist at the 11/1 show…. great job!
-Push Sonjay… he’s got charisma oozing out of him.
-I want Nick Berk’s Red Bull collection, I’d finally be able to stay awake.
-Ruckus… how do you flip… I’m really intrigued by it, because I think you defy certain laws of gravity, but please learn how to chain wrestle, or at least link them together.
-Deranged… eat a sandwich. There are little starving children in Ethiopia bigger than you.
-I want furry boots.
Well I’m out of things… my brain’s finally blanked, probably from constant studying of the theories of Freud. So until after midterms, later all.