Attendance was about 1/3 full, or about 5,000-6,000 people.
Ring announcer Tony Chimel came out and did the usual pre-show stuff (no video recording, no throwing stuff, etc) and promoted JVC (the tour’s sponsor). The guy with the shirt gun then hit the ring, but the damn thing broke after only one shot, which got the guy major heat.
REY MYSTERIO VS. NUNZIO
The crowd was really into this one, and not only because it was the first bout. This, in my opinion, was the match of the night. Mike and Aaron may disagree, but this is my report, so you get my opinions. Anyway, Rey won with the springboard guillotine legdrop after the 619.
SAKODA AND AKIO VS. THE SELF-PROCLAIMED WORLD’S GREATEST TAG TEAM
Benjamin and Haas played the faces in this one (could this be a sign for the future?), but even the decent mat wrestling couldn’t save these 4, as the crowd was dead in this one (much like they were all night). The crowd really didn’t buy the WGTT as “good guys” as first, but they kind of grew on them as time passed. The former tag champs picked up the victory with what Mike and I named a “springboard Doomsday Device” for
lack of an actual name.
RHYNO VS. SEAN O’HAIRE
Another match between two guys who play heels on TV (in fact, Rhyno was heel against Scotty 2 Hotty on Velocity tonight), but Rhyno was face in this one. Another match we could’ve lived without ended with O’Haire using his “in the web” or whatever the hell it’s called to get the 1-2-3.
RIKISHI AND SCOTTY 2 HOTTY VS. CHUCK PALUMBO AND JOHNNY STAMBOLI
The crowd actually got into this one, but it was mainly because both Rikishi and Scotty were gone for so long, it was just cool seeing the Stinkface and the Worm (both performed on Stamboli). The end came when Palumbo went for a sunset flip off the top rope, but Rikishi basically landed on him halfway through (it might’ve been a missed spot) and pinned him. After the match, Scotty took 3 kids out of the audience, and the 5 of them danced in the ring for a minute or so.
WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: TAJIRI (C) VS. JAMIE NOBLE VS. ULTIMO DRAGON
I could’ve been wrong, but I distinctly heard Chimel announce Noble as the “Redneck Messiah.” If he’s going under that name now, say goodbye to Noble within a month. Anyway, Tajiri allowed his fellow countryman work over Noble for the entire match before kicking Ultimo in the head and successfully defend his championship.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: THE SUPER BASHAM BROTHERS (C) W/SHANIQUA VS. LOS GUERREROS
The Guerreros were way over during their entrance, but the crowd pop came to a screeching halt for this one. The XM group agreed this was definitely was under average, considering the Guerreros were involved. The crowd didn’t get into it until Edie tagged in late in the match. The Super Bashams once again got one over on Eddie and Chavo by shooting a fireball and exiting through a warp pipe, as the former champions got caught holding the belts in their hands when the referee came to after a bump. The official assumed the Guerreros knocked the champs down with the gold, and DQ’d them to give Mario and Luigi the win. The Guerreros got the last word, as Eddie gave Shaniqua the frog splash after the final bell.
HANDICAP MATCH: CHRIS BENOIT AND BRADSHAW VS. BIG SHOW, NATHAN JONES, AND MATT MORGAN
This match was advertised with Hardcore Holly teaming up with Benoit and Bradshaw but, as SmackDown! GM Paul Heyman pointed out to us tonight, Holly got himself suspended at Tuesday’s SD! taping, so Heyman made it a handicap match instead. Despite the huge disadvantage, Benoit and Bradshaw scored the victory after Benoit performed the diving headbutt (or Air Canada as Mike called it) on Jones. Big Show made the faces pay for the victory with a pair of chokeslams.
TINY TEDDY CONTEST: SABLE VS. DAWN MARIE
Funaki (who is SmackDown’s #1 announcer, by the way (*yawn*), came out as the announced MC for this one, but the former member of Kai En Tai then introduced Jeff Garcia of Power 106 radio to do the actual Diva intros. Once both ladies got in the ring, Sable was picked to go first, but told the Angelinos we weren’t worthy of seeing her body. The former Women’s Champion then insulted her opponent, who decided to tackle the blond bombshell and strip her of her robe. Sable then retreated to the locker room, while Dawn stripped off her own robe and was declared the winner.
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP: BROCK LESNAR (C) VS. JOHN CENA
Cena was WAY over in La-La Land, and his freestyle consisted of comments on Kobe, O.J., and In-And-Out (a California-exclusive burger joint). The champ then made his way to the ring, and the two of them picked up where they left off at Backlash (i.e. – snooze fest!). I think we should’ve taken Rift’s advice and bailed during this one. Near the end of the bout, the ref took a bump (didn’t see what happened) and ended up on the arena floor. Cena then gave Lesnar the FU, but there was no ref. Lesnar then hit Cena with the belt and went for a cover (still no ref), but Hardcore Holly came out (through the main entryway, even though he was suspended) and jumped the champ. This brought Jones, Morgan, and Big Show back out, followed by Benoit and Bradshaw, who all attacked one another. Once the ring was cleared, Cena went for another FU, but Lesnar hit a low blow, then the F5 for the 1-2-3.
That was it, and it was much worse in person, believe me. As far as biggest pops and biggest heat, I could care less. (Note from Rift: probably Eddie Guerrero frogsplashing the Super Basham chick) Let Rift tell you that part, if he wants, lol. If you’ve read this far, thanks for reading. If not, I don’t blame you a bit.