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The Live Wire - By Tony Cottam

TLW: Raw Report Card 2003

Well, hello. Welcome back to the thankfully flu free Monday ritual that is The Live Wire! This week, your favourite column has mostly been pointing and laughing at pigeons in the street, and spending waaaaaay too much money on eBay – DAMN YOU EBAY!!!

Well, hello. Welcome back to the thankfully flu free Monday ritual that is The Live Wire! This week, your favourite column has mostly been pointing and laughing at pigeons in the street, and spending waaaaaay too much money on eBay – DAMN YOU EBAY!!!


Well, thanks to everyone that responded to the Cena column last week – I didn’t expect to get as big a mailbag as that, but hey – thanks! It’s YOU guys that keep this column going, and I thank you all for reading and taking the time to fire off an email or two. OK, folks, butt-kissing is over for another year.


Speaking of a year, it’s been over a year since I did one of my little report card thingamajigs – and given it’s nearly the end of the year, what better time to pull this little gem out of the closet marked ‘Live Wire Ideas’? So, peeps, with no further ado – let’s dissect the Raw Roster with the Raw Report Card!


STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN – While his impact on the Raw scene was undoubtedly a big one, it wasn’t necessarily a good one. For a guy who can’t actually do much in the ring, he spent a fair amount of time beating up people that can. His GM role provided some good laughs, but not a lot of storyline advancement. He did take the focus off a lot of people, so I can’t really say he was a success.
Grade : B-


AL SNOW – Well, he’s on TV regularly in the States, and he was briefly propelled into the spotlight during the awful feud over the commentary table. Al’s commentary style is starting to develop, and he has at least been visible this year, so I award :
Grade : C-


BATISTA – Spent most of the year injuring himself, re-injuring himself and perfecting that scary “AAAAAAAAAAAGH!” noise apparently before making a return last month. Has really missed too much time to grade, but his work since his return was fairly good. Look for Batista to score a C next time round…
Grade : N/A


BOOKER T – Another guy that’s missed a lot of time, but has had to put up with some nonsensical booking choices at times as well. Probably was over enough to be given a run with The Big Gold Belt earlier in the year, but was overlooked… as is the norm. Has done well to stay over with the fans despite stupid booking.
Grade : B


BUBBA RAY DUDLEY – Can’t really say much about Bubba. He doesn’t evolve, his character doesn’t change, he doesn’t get any better or worse… but he and his ‘brother’ remain as over with the live crowds as anyone else on the Raw roster – can’t fault a guy for that. At the end of the day, just average though.
Grade : C


CHRIS JERICHO – When he says he’s the highlight of the night, he ain’t kidding around any more. Jericho has had a simply magnificent year, and to be honest, he doesn’t need the World Championship anymore. If it’s possible, he’s above that now.
Grade : A+


CHRIS NOWINSKI – Injured for a long space of time, but looked to be making an impact before his departure. If he comes back, and it’s apparently touch and go at this point, I’d expect him to be earning a C if he carried on as he left off
Grade : N/A


CHRISTIAN – Looks to be headed for an interesting storyline with Lita and Matt Hardy, and he deserves a little push into the spotlight. His ‘peeps champion’ gimmick was great TV at a low point for Raw this year, and I still think he’s vastly under-rated as an all round performer.
Grade : B


D-VON DUDLEY – See, Dudley, Bubba Ray.
Grade : C


ERIC BISCHOFF – One of the real genuine reasons to watch Raw these days, and an example of how a GM role should be played. Yes, he gets a lot of screen time, but he doesn’t end up beating up the actual in-ring talent, like Austin did. Bischoff is still one of the best in the business at the slimeball act… or is it an act?
Grade : A


GAIL KIM – Clearly not ready to be on TV in such a prominent position. The injury might give her an excuse to go back to OVW and do some fine tuning.
Grade : D


GARRISON CADE – Mr. Bland. No redeeming features that make him stand out, save a pretty sweet top rope elbow, reminiscent of one Shawn Michaels. Flat out average.
Grade : C


GOLDBERG – Anything less than an A for Goldberg is a disappointment in my books. Presented as the saviour of the WWE, ratings haven’t increased since his arrival, and a string of poor choice of opponent has hindered him. The Summerslam Elimination match remains the prime example of how Goldberg should be presented in the WWE, and there hasn’t been enough of that. As such…
Grade : B-


GOLDUST – What can you say? Entertaining on the mic and backstage, deathly dull in the ring, and soon to be out of work. Farewell, Dustin.
Grade : C


IVORY – Had a really nice spell in the middle of the year, where it looked like she would become the Women’s Champion, but it fizzled out and she was returned to the obscurity from whence she came. Seriously under used, and a looker as well!
Grade : C


JACQUELINE – Jacqueline has been refereeing matches recently. ‘Nuff said.
Grade : D


JAZZ – Shame injury took her off television – there was a nice women’s division developing around her, Molly, Trish and Victoria – an actual WRESTLING division rather than “who has the biggest T-shirt bumps” division. Can’t hurry back soon enough. Jazz is probably technically the best women’s wrestler the WWE has.
Grade : C+


JERRY LAWLER – Retire. Now. PLEASE!
Grade : F


JIM ROSS – Better than Lawler, if only for the fact that he pays attention to the match in the ring now and then. Has an incredible win-loss record for a non wrestler.
Grade : E


JON HEIDENREICH – The most dangerous man in the WWE based on how many injuries he’s inflicted. ‘Little Johnny’ seems to have been forgotten about, and his gimmick of trying to get a job seemed to be rushed along. But, he’s tall and muscular, so he’ll get as many chances as he needs.
Grade : D


JONATHAN COACHMAN – I’m not the Coach’s biggest fan, but this has been his break-out year. The heel character he’s playing now actually shows him to have a bit of personality. A heel colour commentator is a sadly missed part of TV, and Coach could well be that man. Great improvement shown this year.
Grade : B+


KANE – Lost the mask, gained some ground. Lost to Shane, gained a title shot. It’s been an up and down year for Kane, but at least his character has moved on, if not moved up. The man behind the mask can carry a promo too… Probably his best year since joining the WWE.
Grade : B


KEVIN NASH – An absolute bust. If this guy gets another wrestling contract, then it’s proof that the Clique does still exist and still has power. Nash is at his best as a wise-cracking cocky heel – not a silent bad-ass face, as he was booked. Nash’s future lies as a manager or commentator, I feel.
Grade : F


LANCE STORM – After the humiliation of the Austin ‘Boring’ segment, Lance has slowly built himself a nice little character around his attempts to not be boring. A tag team of Venis & Storm could be a good shot in the arm for a lack-lustre Raw tag division.
Grade : C


LITA – Missed too long to realistically grade, but from what we’ve seen since her return – she hasn’t got any better on the mic or in the ring. Heading for an F next year, methinks…
Grade : N/A


MARK HENRY – Why does this guy still have a job? NOBODY cares about him, the only heat he gets is from Theodore R. Long’s promo work. Slow and sloppy in the ring, being strong doesn’t equal being a great wrestler, or making good TV.
Grade : F


MARK JINDRAK – Slightly more interesting than his tag partner, and has the bonus of some tag title experience from WCW. Why he was split from O’Haire in the first place is still a mystery to me.
Grade : C+


MATT HARDY – Been a breakout year for the Sensei of Mattitude, mostly on Smackdown admittedly. Has taken a good gimmick and made it great, as well as showing an aptitude for promos that we’d never seen before. Future Intercontinental Champion material…
Grade : A


MAVEN – Another midcarder that’s forced his way to the top of the pack, more by sheer force of will than by anything he’s done himself. Good booking has placed him as the most likely to make the next big jump out of the pack.
Grade : B


MISS JACKIE – Better than she was, which is something, I guess. The gimmick with Rico looks good on paper, but hardly gets used enough to see if she has anything to offer over being fodder for Lawler to drool over.
Grade : D


MOLLY HOLLY – Molly has never really been the focal point of the Women’s division, but has always been bubbling under the top level, ready and willing to pick up the slack. Dependable and solid as ever, shame she never really gets the push that the other women get.
Grade : C+


RANDY ORTON – A huge year for the third generation star in the making. Returned from his injury problems, and has slotted in as a top level heel with no problem. The Legend Killing gimmick is doing him well, and hanging round Flair and Trips will do him no harm in the long run. The next Intercontinental Champion?
Grade : B+


RENE DUPREE – Out of the ‘original’ La Resistance, Dupree is the one that looks like he belongs in the ring. A couple of years floating about in the Tag leagues, and Dupree could well break out and establish himself as a viable star on Raw. Has the charisma, just need a little polish.
Grade : C


RIC FLAIR – Has been invaluable to Evolution’s development as a top stable. Flair may not be performing in-ring at the level he used to, but 10 minutes of Flair time on TV is worth an hour of nearly everybody in the mid-card. Still cuts some of the best promos on Raw, and still looks like he’s loving every minute.
Grade : B-


RICO – Rico is an enigma. He has the skills, he has a unique gimmick, and he can draw heat from the crowd seemingly at will… yet he remains mired in the midcard slot, or on Heat. Pull the plug, let’s see how far he can take this gimmick, and get the most out of what he can do. Despite a great gimmick, this was just another average year for Rico.
Grade : C-


ROB CONWAY – Reminds me alarmingly of The Rock at times. Came in to La Resistance as an addition, and ended up comfortably slotting in to Grenier’s position. Conway has the charisma and has shown enough ring skill to make me think that he could well have a huge year in 2004…
Grade : C+


ROB VAN DAM – Whatever the reasons, and they’ve been well documented over the past year, RVD has just been treading water for the past year. Proof of that is another Intercontinental Championship reign – something that he was above last year, and remains above this year.
Grade : C


RODNEY MACK – The D is being kind, thanks to a gimmick, that while not exactly tasteful, did make an impact, mostly thanks to Theodore Long, yet again. Will return from injury and hopefully have improved enough to justify his slot on the roster.
Grade : D


ROSEY – Rosey has had a rough year – seeing his long term tag partner systematically screw up left right and centre, and finally get himself released should have left Rosey in limbo, yet his antics with The Hurricane end up being strangely entertaining. Rosey has a nice promo style that lends itself well to the comedy he’s being booked in.
Grade : C


SCOTT STEINER – Where to begin? Started bad, and never got any better. I really wonder how much time Steiner has left these days. Nowhere near the level he was performing at in WCW.
Grade : F


SHANE MCMAHON – Done well in his three or four month stint, but really, his slot should have gone to a full-time wrestler. Despite my feelings, Shane’s matches do usually pop the crowd, and the Ambulance match successfully put Kane over as a monster, and pushed him to main event level again. Shane played his part in that.
Grade : C


SHAWN MICHAELS – Whatever you may think of Michaels’ past or his position on the roster, what can’t be denied is that when he’s on screen, he holds your attention. Michaels is still a master of the game, and has probably had one of his best ever years in the business. If not for Jericho, Michaels would have ruled Raw.
Grade : A


SPIKE DUDLEY – Spike does what he’s told, and he knows how to work a crowd. He’s never going to be one of the stars, but that’s not his job. Pretty much interchangeable with any other of the midcard wrestlers, but fills a needed space.
Grade : C


STACY KEIBLER – I don’t ‘get’ Stacy. What exactly does she do? If she’s a manager, she doesn’t do much… her character bounces from pillar to post, and seems to be in constant need of rescue. Not a lot of redeeming qualities to her, it seems her legs are more over than Stacy as a whole…
Grade : D


STEVEN RICHARDS – The man who would be King of Heat. Steven has taken his character to another level, and made Heat a whole lot of fun in the process. It’s a shame he has this stigma of just being a comedy wrestler… still, if he’s allowed to make every Sunday a little brighter, things can’t be too bad.
Grade : B


SYLVAN GRENIER – Dearie me, where to begin. Charisma? lacking. Ring skills? Severely lacking. His injury will allow him to go away and do some more fine-tuning, which he obviously needs. Were he not French speaking, he would be nowhere near TV right now.
Grade : F


TERRI – Far as I can see, she has no place being on TV. Apart from modelling the latest line in inflatable breasts.
Grade : F


TEST – Every year, it feels like he’s gonna make the big break, and push on up to the next level. Without fail, every year, he does something stupid and screws it up. Regardless, this has been a good year for Test – he has developed his character, and when he was mocking Scott Steiner, he was drawing incredible heat, and doing it in style. Could 2004 be the year? Naaaaaaa!
Grade : C+


THE HURRICANE – What a shame that this guy is so totally wasted. His gimmick is like nobody else’s and he can back it all up in the ring, yet he’s booked in 5 minute joke matches. For the love of Jimmy Snuka, switch him to Smackdown and at least TRY and do something useful with him! He does stay over and always entertains – his program with The Rock was top notch.
Grade : B


THE ROCK – Actually impressed me with his brief run this year. Managed to share the screen with The Hurricane and make it plausible, and his heel schtick was just amazing in places. No doubt he’ll be back for this year’s Wrestlemania and his yearly paycheque…
Grade : B


THEODORE LONG – Nearly made Mark Henry and Rodney Mack interesting, and that is no mean feat. His mic work is incredible, and the string of catchphrases that he spews are starting to catch on. If he ever turns face, then there’s a gold mine for the WWE waiting to be mined…
Grade : B+


TOMMY DREAMER – Still remains one of my favourites, but I don’t think he has long left in the ring. A spot on the creative team is probably in his future. What a shame that the WWE fans never got to see the Tommy Dreamer from ECW.
Grade : D


TRISH STRATUS – Trish continues to improve every year, and this year was no exception. Trish has worked harder than anyone else on the roster to improve, and the hard work really shows when you look back at her earlier matches. Trish remains the top dog in the Women’s division for me, and easily earns an A grade.
Grade : A


TRIPLE H – Not a good year, despite the long title reign and Evolution’s emergence as a stable to be watched. Injuries continue to take their toll on him, and with a movie career in the offing, I wouldn’t hold out much hope for a drastic improvement. His willingness to job to Goldberg is to his credit, no matter how overbooked those jobs may be. A poor year.
Grade : C


VAL VENIS – Poor Val. As a wrestler, he remains amongst the most talented in the WWE, but his character seems to be overpowering him. A return to ‘classic’ Val has done nothing for him, but he does look to be forming a tag team with Lance Storm, which could be worth watching out for. Let’s hope 2004 is kinder to Val than 2003 was
Grade : C


VICTORIA – Victoria has had a really fantastic year. She is so into her character, you can’t help but watch her as she twitches her way round the ring and really lays on the kookiness with a shovel. Her ‘partnership’ with Steven Richards on Heat has just been a joy to watch.
Grade : B+


WILLIAM REGAL – Has missed too much of the year to really earn a grade, but his recent appearance on Byte This! was most entertaining.
Grade : N/A


So, after that marathon… I’ll do it all again next week for Smackdown. Be there… or be… I dunno, somewhere cooler and enjoying yourself?


Until then, have fun, go mad.


Thanks for reading – be sure and pay a visit to these two sweet sites :


WrestleHolic.com


TheGroovyComapany


Tony Cottam


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