Well, hello. Welcome to the Armageddon PPV predictions edition of The Live Wire, and one with a difference. Why is it different? Because for one, us UK peeps aren’t getting to see the damn show, thanks to our TV providers, BSkyB, acting like a bunch of muppets and not showing it. And the other difference? Well, regular readers know I like to TRY and be positive. I like to try and look on the bright side… but this?
Folks, this card looks like crap. Utter crap. RVD vs. Orton could well be the only saving grace for this car wreck waiting to happen. If this was a Sky Box Office PPV, I wouldn’t be happy about having to pay for it… but I would, because I’m a WWE sheep. Well, that and my kids would kill me if I didn’t. Incidentally, they don’t know it’s not being shown in the UK yet. I’m hoping they don’t actually realise it’s a PPV weekend yet!
Anyway, trivialities and Television company rantings aside, I suppose we should try and come out with a set of predictions… given that I am joint reigning champion of the SmashWrestling.com Monthly Predictamania Competition, I should at least try and defend it with pride… *sigh*
Let’s get into it…
World Heavyweight Championship
Triple Threat Match
Goldberg (Champion) vs. Triple H vs. Kane
Wow, yet another of the dream series of Goldberg vs. Trips matches… I thought he was taking time off? At least when The Rock goes to film a movie, he has the decency to… y’know actually LEAVE. When Trips gets time off, they still find a way to keep him written into storylines. Would it kill them to write him out of TV for a month or two and give us a break from his water-spitting shenanigans? It might actually help him remain a bit fresh as well. But I digress…
Goldberg has been defending the World Heavyweight Championship belt he won by default for a few months now, and while he’s being booked as Goldberg should (not a lot of talking, lots of spearing) – things just aren’t clicking for me. I can’t put my finger on it, he just doesn’t seem right as Champion.
Having said that, I don’t think there a lot of guys on Raw that would seem right with the belt. Is Kane one of them? It would be nice to find out, but Kane has been forgotten about in the build-up for this match. Shouldn’t Evolution have beaten up Kane during the Lumberjack match on Raw, and helped out their ‘glorious’ leader? I would have thought so, but there you go – Goldberg is the big focus, so let’s beat on him a little bit more.
As for the actual match… I would fear for my waistline, as there would have to be another Sandwich break during this one. I don’t fancy this one much, and missing it doesn’t really fill me with sorrow. For all that this seems to be about Trips and Goldbore… I’m going with the outside, just because I’m in a mood.
Winner : Kane
Special Guest Ref: Mick Foley
Rob Van Dam (Champion) vs. Randy Orton w/. Ric Fair
Let’s put Mick Foley in as a guest Referee! Let’s TRY and put some interest and effort into this one! Ech… who really cares. On paper, this is the best actual wrestling match, and no offence to either guy – but one is a spot machine that has a tendency to go off the rails, and the other is an injury prone rookie that has yet to really prove himself – that tells you all you need to know about this show.
Rob has said on various radio shows and in a few ‘Net interviews that he doesn’t care about the Intercontinental Title, and can’t even remember how many times he’s held it… it’s a feeling pretty much reciprocated across the world, as the ‘revitalised’ Intercontinental Title doesn’t really have a lot of purpose anymore.
Having said that, Randy could be the guy to bring it some prestige, especially as he could end up the night as the only Gold wearer in Evolution… and to be honest, it’s probably time for a change to see if we can drum up some interest in the title. Give it to Orton! Let’s see what he can do with it! Apart from polish it enough to see his face in it…
Winner : Randy Orton
World Tag Team Championship
Tag Team Turmoil
The Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak vs. The Hurricane & Rosey vs. La Resistance vs. Val Venis & Lance Storm vs. Scott Steiner & Test
Now, I quite like the Tag Team Turmoil match idea. It’s a good gimmick when used sparingly, and it’s good when there’s not a lot of strength in depth in the tag division, as is evident right now.
The only real storyline is between Cade & Jindrak and The Dudleys… and does anyone really care? Nope, me either. Cade & Jindrak look to be good enough wrestlers, don’t get me wrong – but there’s no reason to care about them – they don’t get any mic time, and there’s no angle – they just appeared out of nowhere and we’re expected to suddenly give a damn about them.
Send Jindrak to Smackdown and reunite O’Haire and Jindrak, at least do something with them… but anyway, this match… to me, it’s obviously set up for Jindrak & Cade to win the tag titles… hopefully, it might give them a bit of
Winners : Cade & Jindrak
Battle of the Sexes Match:
Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Trish Stratus & Lita
Oh, just go away. The Trish / Jericho storyline was tootling along quite nicely, until the bombshell revelation last week. Surely it could have been extended a little by having just the viewers see Jericho and Christian’s bet revealed? But still, I’m sure the WWE writers know best…
As for why this match has been booked, I don’t know. Hell, I don’t even know if it’ll take place, given Lita’s apparent injury at the MSG house show last night. Although, if you want to be cruel, Lita wouldn’t be wrestling anyway – she never does…
I really don’t know who will come out of this one on top (oo-er missus) and to be honest, is there even a point? Surely Jericho & Christian could have better things to do than this, and even Trish and Lita could be wrestling for the Women’s title rather than this pointless match.
Meh. Christian & Jericho to win, if it takes place, possible heelishness from one of the two women. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t CARE.
Winners : Christian & Chris Jericho
Shawn Michaels vs. Batista
Shawn, book up the doctor now. Batista is a man that can put himself out of action by JOGGING – so I don’t want to know what he can do to Shawn Michaels if things go wrong… I’m sure this isn’t what Michaels thought he’d be doing when he returned in a blaze of glory…
As much as Michaels can make a crowd sit up and pay attention, and drag a decent match out of anyone – I get the feeling that Batista and his selection of clotheslines, powerbombs and clubbering forearm shots might be a bridge too far. Batista may well have a big future in the WWE, but that’s in the future – I don’t think he’s ready yet, and I don’t think that Michaels can drag a decent match out of him yet.
As for a winner, I see Michaels continuing his single-handed demolition of Evolution in a long, drawn out, boring match, probably after having lost a ton
Winner : Shawn Michaels
Booker T vs. Mark Henry w/. Teddy Long
Oh yeah, the long awaited showdown. Whoo. Must contain my excitement. Oh, who am I kidding? Mark Henry shouldn’t be wrestling on HEAT let alone on PPV. If, as I fear, they put him over Booker to try and justify his huge salary, then Booker should just pick up his bag and go home.
Booker is, or should be above this sort of dross. Only Teddy Long gets any sort of heat for Henry, and even that’s just because Teddy is a comedy genius. Let’s just pray it’s short. The one bright side of the BSkyB farce is that we don’t have to sit through this – UK 1 Everyone Else 0.
Winner : Mark Henry
So there we go. A show that UK peeps don’t get to see, and to be honest, it looks like BSkyB are doing us a favour. So, Monday, I won’t be talking about the show, as I probably won’t have seen it – so tune in and see what I end up doing… oh yeah, it’s the little matter of the 200th edition of The Live Wire on Monday too. Yay for me!
Until then, have fun, go mad.
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