The Three Count

T3C: WWE Wrestlemania XX – Thank god for the main events!

Twelve matches should produce more than just three that are actually any good. The Three Count explains why Wrestlemania XX didn’t quite come up to scratch.

Firstly may I thank my landlord for an entertaining Sunday comprising of four hours of a Gulf War documentary followed by an hour of Poker that caused me to miss the first ten minutes of Wrestlemania!

So Wrestlemania XX has come and gone, the longest PPV I’ve ever seen and sadly just three really good matches. So what went wrong? Well, the booking and the stipulations that’s what let this event down.

The opening US Title match (what I saw of it) looked okay but nothing special. It just showed that the 21st century face doesn’t always abide by the rules like they did when I was growing up. Chains and brass knuckles being used to get the pin, Big Daddy could be heard turning in his grave!

Have people ever cared less about the World Tag Team Titles? All we have is two wrestlers in Booker T and RVD that Vince doesn’t have anything else for, while every other company in the States would kill to have them on their roster. Why was this a fourway match with a sudden death stipulation? We all knew that each team had to have their moment of glory before any chance of a pin to end the match. We deserve better from the tag division.

Up next Christian v Jericho and the first of the three good matches. I had my suspicions that Trish might be turning heel, it just seemed to perfect for her to end up with Jericho. A good match and an interesting heel turn which ensures the feud goes from strength to strength. It’ll be interesting to hear the explanations on this one. After all Trish, remember Christian was after Lita first.

We’d already seen a killer promo from Randy Orton and a couple of segments with Bischoff, Coach and the always welcome Bobby Heenan. Now it’s the Rock’s promo and the handicap match with Evolution. Hang on a minute what’s going on here, take away Cena and Big Show and this is becoming another Raw only PPV, three straight Raw matches, four Raw promo’s. Why?

Anyway the Rock and Sock Connection against Evolution wasn’t a bad match but hardly a classic. Fourth best match on the card as far as I’m concerned. I think fans are getting fed up of Rock’s sporadic appearances. His mimicking of Flair was okay but why was Rock there? This isn’t his feud, it’s about Orton and Foley and that’s what I want to see at Backlash, then say goodbye to the ring Mick and stick to the mic.

The Hall of Fame segment was pretty good and provided THE Wrestlemania XX moment. Bobby Heenan, a lot thinner after his battle with cancer, wishing Gorilla Monsoon was still alive, a great tear-jerking moment that didn’t need a script, it was just straight from the heart.

Back to the action, well nearly. Well actually, a long way from anything decent. The minute they said the Evening Gown match was to be decided by pinfall, I knew what was coming next. That’s not how you win that kind of match. Cue lots of stripping off, Sable looking much older than the others and a pointless match. But we could have a Jackie v Stacy feud to try and avoid in the coming weeks.

The Benoit-Guerrero segment was interesting, though it did give the impression Benoit would be going over tonight. Next up, wait a minute, the Smackdown wrestlers have turned up and again the bookers have made a cock-up. No Battle Royal but a series of elimination matches. All of a sudden wrestlers who have five or ten minutes on Velocity and Smackdown get a couple of minutes if they’re lucky. Poor Ultimo Dragon, he dreams of being on the big stage at MSG and what does he do? He nearly falls over and then has to submit! This was far too predictable with Chavo and Flash Mysterio ending up in the final match. This division needs new blood quickly.

And so we came to the match the fans dominated. They knew Lesnar was on his way out and boy did they lay into him. Just imagine if he’d come into this match as a face. This was a total disaster, just terrible. Austin’s actions at the end made little sense, just gave himself something to do on the big stage I suppose.

Vince coming out was a nice touch, but if you’re going to thank the fans for your success Vince, take a look at the Internet more and see what they’re saying about your business.

Another crap title match with four teams and a sudden death ending. Just why do we have to put up with Rikishi and Scotty. It’s all old hat and we deserve better. The same goes for crappy politics from Jesse Ventura, a total waste of time.

Back to Raw now and the women’s title. The minute I saw the chair and the barber (I bet Beefcake was so jealous, but hey if Hulk’s not in the company you won’t be either!) I thought Molly was going to end up bald. It was Angle v Edge all over again. A bald Diva on Raw, wow that’ll turn the lesbians on, give her the Tatu song now!

Finally a match we can look forward too and see it become a classic in reality. Guerrero v Angle was a blinder. But again we have a face who cheats, Big Daddy moved again. The feud should continue as long as Angle can.

Finally we come to the match, sorry, ring entrance, we’d all been waiting for. Out comes the Deadman. Sorry though, it was just too predictable, Paul Bearer back proving his latest diet had failed and those druids with torches. I wonder what druids do the rest of the year? The hat, the coat and what the hell was the Deadman wearing! He looked just like the biker Undertaker and if he wears that kind of gear in the cemetery he’ll catch his death AGAIN! Poor match, terrible actually. Undi doesn’t wrestle like that as the Deadman, a ring entrance you can’t do every night, that funny thing with his eyes and one sit-up is not enough. As for Kane, it destroys any momentum he’s ever had.

This seems to have gone on forever, I can hear birds in the garden! Finally we get to our third good match. The Triple Threat Crown Benoit as the King match. Triple H in good match shock! Michaels in massive blade job shock! Benoit wins the title, not such a shock after that promo with Eddie and then the moment he was left seemingly unconscious. The great comeback was all too obvious.

Twelve matches, three of which were good. Not a great strike rate is it? This company needs new blood, go and get it Vince.

Stephen Ashfield