Well, hello. Word of warning folks – I can’t be bothered with this PPV, this column, or pretty much anything to be honest… don’t expect positive happy-happy joy-joy thoughts to be overflowing this cup. With that in mind, let’s get it out of the way.
World Wrestling Entertainment Championship:
“Latino Heat” Eddie Guerrero (Champion) vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield
Well. Give the WWE their credit, they have tried everything and anything to put some heat onto this feud, and Bradshaw is in damn good shape, I’ll give him that. At the end of the day, however, Bradshaw is, was and always will be nothing more than a jumped up midcarder.
The one hope I have is that if Eddie can’t pull off the biggest miracle of his pro career and drag Bradshaw to a passable match, then the WWE don’t turn round and blame Eddie for the bad match, the bad buy rate and the general meh-ness of the Smackdown product since WrestleMania. As for the winner, well I pray to whatever Gods I still believe in that the WWE creative team don’t see Bradshaw as a champion. Eddie to win. It must be!
Winner : Eddie Guerrero
World Wrestling Entertainment United States Championship:
John Cena (Champion) vs. Rene Dupree
Cena and Dupree are two of the biggest hopes for the future of the WWE – they’re both over with the fans, they’re both in the good books of the management… and sadly, they’re both as green as hell in the ring. Don’t look for this to be a five star classic, but I’m sure the booking team can work out a way to make this seem entertaining, even if it’s not.
As for a winner? Well, Cena is over enough that he doesn’t need the US Title, and I think they could take a leaf from Raw’s book and put the title on a youngster and build both them and the belt up at the same time, much like the IC belt and Randy Orton; Dupree gets the nod from me.
Winner : Rene Dupree
World Wrestling Entertainment Tag Team Championship:
Rico & Charlie Haas (Champions) vs. Hardcore Holly & “Bad Ass” Billy Gunn
It’s been a long time since Billy Gunn has been a bad ass or watchable, but a partnership with Holly is a good idea in my book. It adds some depth and experience to the tag division, and both Gunn and Holly have excelled in the tag division in the past. Rico and Haas are the standard wacky tag partners that the WWE seem so fond of, and will no doubt split up soon and feud.
This match actually has the potential to be OK, if nothing special. As much as I dislike Gunn and Holly, they do know how to work a crowd and a tag match – at the Glasgow house show, they faced Haas and Benjamin and put on a solid enough show. We can only hope the same happens here. As for the belts, if they’re going to try and solidify them, then they must go to Gunn & Holly. So…
Winners : Rico & Haas.
World Wrestling Entertainment Cruiserweight Championship:
Jacqueline (Champion) vs. Chavo Guerrero (with Chavo Classic)
(Note: During this match, Chavo will have one hand tied behind his back)
For the love of God, please let it go to an actual cruiserweight and not this week’s gimmick of the week. Chavo MUST get the belt back here, in the name of all things right and just. I see Chavo Classic being involved with the finish, which can only be a good thing..
Winner : Chavo
The Undertaker vs. Booker T
Taker vs. Papa Shango – whoopie doo, here come the 80s again! Pretty uninspiring stuff with this feud, although the fans live have been loving it by all accounts, and it’s all my son is talking about (which is probably exactly the angle that they’re shooting for) so you can’t knock it as all bad.
Sadly, Booker’s career is on the wind down already, when he could easily have been a WWE title contender – now he’s a wannabe zombie killer marking out time for the Undertaker to build his image so he can squash an incoming Jobber To The Stars in Mordecai. Booker winning just isn’t in the script here, although if Mordecai’s match takes place before this, then he could well intervene somehow.
Winner : Undertaker
Rob Van Dam & Rey Mysterio vs. The Dudley Boyz (with Paul Heyman)
I hope that Heyman is present, as it will make this PPV seem more entertaining. Pretty much a match thrown together as there’s no coherent plan on Smackdown, it seems. RVD should be in a singles feud at the top of the card, Rey should be in a cruiserweight bout, and the Dudleys should be putting over an up and coming tag team. Simple.
I can’t see Rey and Rob putting up much resistance to the Legend Of The Dudley Clan, especially if Heyman is on the prowl, and hopefully, it shouldn’t be too bad, and possibly even rise to “good”.
Winners : The Dudley Boyz
Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie
Winner : Dawn Marie
Mordecai vs. A Mystery Opponent
The Internet Wrestling Community Rumour Mill places Mordecai’s opponent as Shannon Moore, which makes sense – Moore bumps like a pinball to get Mordecai over, and ready for the inevitable Taker feud… don’t expect this to be competitive – this is a squash in the making.
Winner : Mordecai.
Well, I hope it turns out to be better than I and everyone else expects it to be, and I hope for Eddie’s sake, he can get a good match out of JBL… but I fear the worst. Enjoy the show… if you can.
Until then, have fun, go mad.
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