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WWE: Velocity & Smackdown Taping Results *Spoilers*

Velocity/Dark Matches:

Match 1
Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo

Nothing special here, Hardy hits the leg drop and won with the twist of fate.  After the match Animal ran out roughed Hardy’s feathers.

Winner: Matt Hardy

Match 2
Simon Dean vs. Super Crazy

Dean got on the mic and said he couldn’t believe Super Crazy was so lazy that he had to ride a lawnmower to the ring. This was a great match, I miss Nova. Lots of nice chain wrestling. Crazy won with a pseudo pin.

Winner: Super Crazy

Match 3
Scotty 2 Hotty and Funaki vs. Jamie Noble and Kid Kash

This was a pretty good match, for a modern Scotty 2 Hotty match. I love Noble and Kash. Jamie was the man in ROH. Lots of cool double team manoeuvres from Jamie and Kash. The end came when Scotty was going for the worm and Noble hit him from behind and nailed him with the tiger driver.

Winners: Kash and Noble

Match 4
Tatanka Vs Jobber

See ten years ago. Tatanka looked chubby but hit all his usual moves correctly.

Winner: Tatanka.

Match 5
WWE Tag Team Championship
MNM vs. Paul London and Brian Kendrick

This was an excellent match, everyone needs to watch Velocity this week. London hit a drop-sault on Nitro and landed on Mercury for the cover. It was cool. London had the match won twice but Kendrick or Melina distracted both times the ref. Melina pushed Paul off the top rope when he went for the London Star Press. MNM went for the snap shot but Kendrick hit a super kick on Mercury, and London DDTed Nitro! I really thought they had it there but MNM threw Kendrick out and hit the snap shot on London. 1-2-3

Winners and still champs: MNM



Mark Henry comes down with Daivari and said he was overlooked. Batista overlooked him and he hurt him so bad he had to give up the title. Then Angle overlooked him, Teddy Long overlooked him and Undertaker overlooked him for a title shot.  He called Angle out. Angle told Henry that he was a wrestling machine and hit the ring.  They brawled.  Randy Orton ran down and jumped Angle and they double-teamed him time until Rey Mysterio made the save. Rey ended up getting smashed by Henry. Theodore Long came out and made the main event match up: Henry and Orton vs. Mysterio and Angle.

Match 1
Money in the Bank Qualifier
Finlay vs. Lashley

This one didn’t even make it to the ring. Finlay pounded Lashley with the shillelagh and they brawled all the way back stage.

Next out was JBL. He thanked us for all of our get -well cards. He then talked about how Stone Cold Steve Austin left his name out when discussing the greatest Texan wrestlers of all time in his interview with He challenged Stone Cold to a beer-drinking contest at SNME.

Match 2
William Regal vs. Pirate Paul Burchill

Burchill swung out on a big rope. His entrance video is kind of funny. This was the sleeper of the night. The crowd didn’t know who to cheer for. Burchill won with the exploder suplex.

Winner: Pirate Paul

Booker T came out with Sharmell, he had a bag of complaint letters about the Boogeyman, and this was some funny stuff. He mentioned Worms Digest and some people of colour’s association.  Theodore Long told him he could take up all his complaints with the Boogeyman at SNME. Just then, red smoke came out of the bag and the Boogeyman came out. Booker and Sharmell took off through the crowd.  Boogeyman dumped out the bag of letters but it was full of worms, which he proceeded to eat.

Backstage we see Gregory Helms sporting an Owen Wilson like nose job. He tells Long his nose was broken during the overseas tour. Theodore says he feels bad and for making Helms defend the Cruiserweight title every week, tonight he will get a break . . . from defending the title, because tonight he will face Chris Benoit!

Match 3
Jillian Hall vs. Kristal

This was a “Diva’s Undressed” match. Jillian had an awkward lump near the genital area.

Winner: Kristal

Match 4
Gregory Helms vs. Chris Benoit

This match was fun, lots of chain wrestling and rest holds. Benoit hit a nice German. Helms hit the Eye of the Hurricane. Benoit locked in the sharpshooter but Helms made it to the ropes. Helms tried to leave but Jamie Noble, Paul London, Brian Kendrick and Kid Kash threw him back in the ring. Helms went for a Shining Wizard but Benoit ducked and nailed a huge released German suplex then a top rope headbutt, and then applied the crossface right on Helms broken nose. Helms tapped right away.

Winner: Chris Benoit

They showed an Animal promo on the screen where he said he was the Road Warrior, not Hawk or Heidenreich.  He’ll have a match with Hardy next week.

Then they showed Lashley and Finlay battle outside.  Lashley flipped a car over and it nearly crushed Finlay.

Main Event
Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton and Mark Henry

Great ovation, the crowd was hot for everyone. Angle and Orton in particular have great chemistry. This had another BS finish when Orton slammed Angle into the steps and Henry splashed the ref in the corner. For about 10 seconds, I swear Orton popped out. Daivari got a table and set it up and it broke. He got another table and put Rey on it and when he did the leg fell off. He got a third table and set Rey up for a splash but Angle made the save. Angle tried to suplex Henry off the top rope through the table but Henry pushed him off and then splashed Angle through the table!!!! Taker’s music hit and he said he’d face Henry at WM22 in a CASKET MATCH.

End of Smackdown

Undertaker came out and fought Orton and Henry in a handicap match. Taker won with a tombstone on Orton!