The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
We’ve got the fallout of Saturday Night’s Main Event, the fallout of flaming tables, tacks, conchairtos, screwjobs, heel turns, beer drinking, one-man-dominating-the-entire-main-event scene and Boogeyman. What WILL happen tonight? And why AREN’T I writing show previews for WWE.com? Read the column and you’ll probably find out…
Don’t forget, now its separate GB&Us for separate shows, giving you a complete overhaul of both RAW and SmackDown!. But also, mainly for filler space, I’ll be going through some news items and giving them a Good, Bad or Ugly rating as well.
And now it’s time for The Newsreel.
News taken from wrestling websites around the globe.
“WWE has come to terms on the release of Matt Anoai (Rosey) as of today, March 21, 2006. We wish Rosey the best in all future endeavors..”
It’s a shame. I always liked Rosey, as I admired the fact he was nearly 400 pounds and could do a Moonsault. I would’ve loved to see a 3MW re-union, and I’m not sure why they decided that shouldn’t happen, especially given the current dreadful state of the WWE Tag Division on both brands. I think this is a shame.
“Saturday Night’s Main Event did a 3.2 fast national rating, coming in dead last among the four networks.”
Oh this isn’t good. Especially seeing as the WWE had a measured belief that the show would get a rating of 5.0 or more. I don’t see where they got that figure from, as wrestling is so ridiculously unpopular in the mainstream right now, in many ways 3.2 is actually a SUCCESS. Will this be the wake up call Vince needs? I doubt it.
“WWE are considering bringing back Kevin Fertig, who is best known as Mordecai. Mordecai was called up to the Smackdown roster in May of 2004, but was sent back down to OVW in July of that year. He was released last July.”
A lot of people have been moaning about this, but I always liked Fertig, moreso in his Seven persona in OVW than as Mordecai. Again, this seems to be the similar reasoning as to other recent approaches made to former wrestlers, he’s tall and big naturally, so he will look intimidating now the wellness program is in affect. However, he’s not a major name, and the internet doesn’t seem to like him. I’ll just go in the middle.
“The DVD for WrestleMania 22 will be a three disc set and will be released on 5/23.The set will include a behind the scenes look at the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony.”
Definitely looking forward to that, presuming I get WM22 to review on Wrestling101. If I don’t, I’ll be unhappy. I do have to question why it’s only WrestleMania that the WWE go for broke with extra features and leave the other PPVs with nothing.
“As expected, Andrew “Test” Martin is expected to be offered a WWE contract.”
I didn’t get to mention this last time, but I like Test. I always thought he had that little something extra over your normal generic big man, so I’m glad to see his return is likely. Of course, he seems to have put aside all the negative comments he made about the WWE after his release, it is funny how people change their tunes when a contract comes their way.
Almost a perfect definition of a mixed news week for the WWE. And now its’ time for the Mailbag….sort of:
Mitchell Jones of WrestlingRadio.co.uk and M1TCH3LL.com sent me a message over MSN. Being a dumbass, I didn’t save this message, so here’s the gist of it.
I enjoy reading the column.
However, I feel that you are insulting the majority of your audience with YANS.
Thank you for the feedback Mitch. I knew you weren’t a fan of YANS from the TWO Forums, and I can see why you may feel YANS is insulting the Internet community, and in a way I suppose it is. But the main intention of YANS isn’t aimed to be an insult to Internet smarks, it’s just the ULTIMATE Internet smark, who can’t find anything good about a product yet still watches it religiously. Hope you still keep on reading, especially as I just plugged both of your sites for free.
And after that, we’ll move on to the show.
March 20th, 2006
We welcome back YANS (Your Average Negative Smark), his job will be to automatically regurgitate negative comments about the WWE and point out all the negative things that only a smark doesn’t want to see. The first bit you see is my (truthful) opinion, the second part is the grossly-exaggerated negative opinion. Please don’t get them confused. YANS is once again played by “Big Craig” Woolard
Last week I stated I would take Cena over Shane and Vince. This week, I changed my mind. I can appreciate the touches of things like the Memphis band (who played When The Saints Go Marching In, which is a NEW ORLEANS band song), the confetti (that fell for the rest of the show) and the Spirit Squad. But wouldn’t all this stuff be better used on putting a WRESTLER over?
Terrible start to Raw. Vince comes out and puts himself over, buries Shawn Michaels, and puts his son Shane over. Then he announces Vince/Shawn is now a No Holds Barred match. That’s good. Shawn will have it easier carrying Vince to a great match then. Of course, this whole segment is just putting the crowd to sleep, so what better way to wake them up then to bring out Cena and cause everyone to boo!! Vince announces a main event tag match, and it’s clear these 2 crap feuds are going to be intertwined. Ugly.
Carlito vs. Kane
Carlito really has been impressing me recently, and this match showed me just how good he can be. He does such simple, small things during a match to add to it, such as his selling of a big move with a pause, then the fall, or mocking Kane’s zombie sit-up. He’s incredibly smooth in the ring, and although he doesn’t have all the amazing moves to make him stand out, he does the basics so well it’s hard to notice. Kane didn’t really have to do anything except work with Carlito.
What a great way to build up to the ”biggest show of the year”. Carlito is going to be fighting Kane at Mania, so they have Kane completely squash Carlito making the match meaningless. Not that it wasn’t already, it’s for the Tag titles. They’re useless now and the 4 guys in the ”feud” for them won’t be able to save it. Bad.
What I don’t get is why they’re trying to put a rift between the two of them. Masters has little charisma anyway, and Carlito can only do so much. Kane and Big Show have been built-up as an unbeatable team, so if two guys beat them who can’t even stay on the same page, what does it say about Kane and Show, and all the people they’ve beaten before who ARE on the same page? Maybe I’m thinking about this too much.
Even better build up! Not only was Carlito just squashed by his upcoming opponent, but now him and his tag team partner can’t get along! Just this makes it pointless for whoever wins. No one cares about Masters and Carlito, and no one cares about the untalented Kane and Big Show. Bad.
Blackjacks inducted into HoF
I’ll admit it, I’ve not seen much of the Blackjacks. In fact, I don’t think I’ve actually seen a match of theirs. Does that mean I can’t comment on them? Of course I can. I know what they’ve done for the business, and I know that they’re one of the best tag teams of the 1970/80s. So their induction is fine by me.
Who? This is supposedly one of the greatest tag teams ever, and chances are most people don’t even know who they are. Why are they being inducted? They could have actually inducted some good well known wrestlers, like more Harts, but no, WWE must screw the Harts as much as possible. It’s a shame that Bret is going to be attempted to be overshadowed by Hogan, Austin, AND Eddie. But it’s Bret, one of the greatest ever, and I’m sure he’ll get a much bigger pop. This segment though, was bad.
Intercontinental Title Match
Shelton Benjamin © vs. Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam
This probably gets match of the night honours from me, and although it didn’t get much competition, I was entertained by it throughout. I think I’m actually beginning to enjoy Shelton a bit more without Mama, which is strange because I don’t really have a problem with her. The best part for me was undoubtedly the finish, which was one of the most innovative ends to a match I have seen for a long time. Kudos to whoever came up with that idea.
Good? This match was absolute crap. It COULD have been good if RVD and Shelton were given enough time on their own WITHOUT that crap Ric Flair. Flair was good a long time ago, but he’s terrible now. Shelton of course is held back and has to use a cowardly heel gimmick, while RVD has his whole moveset watered down. Flair didn’t have many moves to begin with. Only good part was when Van Dam and Flair started bleeding the hardway. That’s how wrestling SHOULD be. Bad.
It was probably going to be difficult to follow up the Very Good they got at Saturday Night’s Main Event (link), but this segment still was nicely done. Foley’s intense promo was superb, and did even more to put this feud over. Unfortunately the segment did suffer from having Lita talking… a lot, but the Foley/Edge interaction was great.
Cactus Jack is back!! This makes it twice that WWE did something right in 2 shows. I’m just as shocked as you are. Foley delivered a great promo as usual, and Edge played his part perfectly. Only low point would have to be it took too long. We could have had more time for a good match, but whatever. Good.
Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria
Wow, this was given so much faith that Candice Michelle’s entrance actually took longer than the match. I personally am not particularly looking forward to the pillow fight at WrestleMania, it gives me horrible flashbacks of the Miller Lite Catfight girls at WrestleMania 19. And we all know what a productive ten minutes that turned out to be. At least Victoria won a match, which doesn’t happen often.
Oh great, a divas match at WrestleMania. No one is going to care about it at all. Thankfully WWE tried to end this ”match” as soon as possible, and realised that the divas shouldn’t be wasting time wrestling. Ugly.
Chris Masters vs. Big Show
Whilst Carlito vs. Kane was a fun little outing, albeit with a rather abrupt finish, this wasn’t fun in any way. Firstly, it wasn’t long enough to produce anything, and secondly, Big Show cannot carry Masters to a decent match. It’s saving grace is that this actually gave Masters and Carlito a shot at winning the tag belts at ‘Mania, instead of just beating them down further. Heel underdogs never work, because the win means nothing.
Oh yeah, another pointless match to ”improve” the build up for Mania. Neither Big Show nor Masters deserve any kind of push, and should both be released as they are complete crap in the ring. At least this time no one really won, but that’s mainly because the 2 are so bad they probably couldn’t work a proper finish for the match. Or maybe it was because they don’t want to end the push that these 2 guys are getting! God, WWE makes me mad pushing such talentless wrestlers when the guys like Shelton Benjamin and Rob Van Dam are continually held back. This was another ugly.
I thought this segment was absolutely brilliant. It was carried entirely by Mickie, who makes pretending to be psychopathic and unstable like a natural reaction. Ashley played her part by sitting there gagged and bound, which probably also appealed to many fetish lovers. And Trish was stiff as hell, before taking a wicked DDT bump. That blood-soaked kiss between Mickie and Trish is probably the most defining moment of this brilliant feud so far.
Verdict: Very Good
Oh great, ANOTHER divas match for WrestleMania. WWE is going all out with this ”feud” by having her kidnap some girl and hold her hostage. Way to exploit real life situations Vince. The divas are so bad that Mickie’s nose was bloodied by a simple punch! Oh yea, that shows great promise for the match at Mania. Nice DDT though. Shame they won’t let the talented guys do stuff like that. Bad.
This is good in so many ways. Firstly, it highlights the history between the inductee and the inductor of the Hall of Fame, secondly it truly is a classic WrestleMania match, and thirdly it was just great to see the match again, even in highlights form. I hope they keep the This Week In Wrestling history segment going, complete with NFL films music, even though it is a complete rip-off of the TWO Newsletter.
This makes no sense. Austin’s most famous match was the Submission against Bret when they were BITTER RIVALS so why have Austin induct his rival? Still, Bret being inducted is a good thing, and hopefully he’ll get the pop that he truly deserves because he is the greatest wrestler of all time. But Vince will probably do another screw job at the Hall of Fame Ceremony as another way to bury the Harts.
John Cena and Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon and Triple H
Well I’ve got to say I’m not really looking forward to this, especially with Shane in another main event and the HHH/Cena feud from hell… oh, it’s over. That was fast. And now Cena’s been thrown out. Well that’s a positive. Not much of one though, because I just feel like I’ve wasted five minutes of my life.
Shane McMahon, a guy who isn’t a wrestler, is ONCE AGAIN, in the main event of a WRESTLING show. Then again, the WWE Champion is a guy who can’t wrestle any at all. Cena gets booed like crazy again, and Michaels comes out and shows why he should be WWE Champ just based on the fans reaction. So of course, they take Michaels out and have Cena overcome the odds yet again and fight both Shane and HHH by himself. Well, that’s what it seems like, but Vince finally realises that Cena shouldn’t be wrestling and makes him leave the ring so we can have Michaels possibly overcome the odds this time. Overall thoughts, ugly.
Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon and HHH
Hey, another main event! This seems a lot like the last one, but with more chance of Shane and Triple H winning. Oh, and they do, by disqualification. What a surprise. This was almost as frustratingly annoying as the last “match”, but this one was saved purely by the crowd popping like hell for Cena and HBK taking out the security guards. It was almost ruined again by Vince announcing him vs. Cena next week, a match I will look forward to about as much as I look forward to my death.
Just when Michaels is starting to get the crowd into a match, (after busting his ass to carry Shane and HHH), they have Cena come out and ruin it all. Cena once again overcomes the odds and takes out about 9 security guards, and then Vince announces for next week….John Cena vs Vince McMahon? What a match to look forward too! I mean, no one cares about Vince, and no one cares about Cena. Hell, no one cares about these 2 feuds, so why not mix them up? WWE sucks so much. I’m sorry, but it just does. Ugly.
So, overall we have:
Very Good: 1
And that is RIGHT in the middle, which again is an improvement on recent week’s shows. I just hope that the show can take another step forward next week, but with Cena taking on Vince, it’s going to have to rely on the undercard to pull it up.
So that was the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of this week’s RAW. Thanks again to Big Craig for lending me his time and effort to be YANS this week, I think he got it spot on.
Got an opinion on anything? Let me know right here:
And I will see you later this week for SmackDown!.