The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
OK, so I took ANOTHER week off, but this was for a reason. Reasons that involved me and my position here that thankfully have now been resolved, meaning that your favourite RAW and SmackDown! recapper is still on Wrestling101.com. Ain’t that just the greatest? Well even if you think it isn’t, tough luck, because I am here to stay. Unlike Sabu with TNA of course, and if the Newsreel was still alive, I’d have something to say about that. But oh well.
Don’t forget, now it’s separate GB&Us for separate shows, giving you a complete overhaul of both RAW and SmackDown!. Each segment will be rated, either Good, Bad, Ugly, or None. Extremely good or extremely bad segments will be rated with “Very Good” or “Very Ugly”, which will add two points to the final tallies instead of one.
WWE RAW
April 24th, 2006
London, England
Edge/Cena/HHH segment
Nothing says “RAW” at the moment than a segment involving Edge, John Cena and Triple H. OK, kudos for the fact that they’ve built up the Main Event at Backlash well, but at the same time we’re getting these three guys saying the same things over and over again for weeks on end. And to make things worse, we now have face Triple H! Sexual innuendo joke! Another sexual innuendo joke! AND THEN ANOTHER sexual innuendo joke! I don’t like HHH as a heel, but when he’s a face, he makes me want to rip my skin off with a pair of rusty pliers. At least the Spirit Squad came out to provide me with some entertainment, but their cheer lacked passion, consistency, rhyming and co-ordination, so not even that could save the segment.
Verdict: Bad
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Rob Van Dam, Carlito and Charlie Haas vs. Shelton Benjamin, Chris Masters and Matt Striker
Ah, a six man tag. What better way to build up as many feuds or PPV matches as possible without having to think of anything remotely complicated? At least they’re usually action-packed, and this one was no exception, especially the ending which was great fun to watch. I’m glad that Matt Striker is finally getting an in-ring push, and I’m glad that Charlie Haas is back. However, the WWE seem to assume that everybody knows who Haas is right off the bat, when he looks completely different to how he was when he left. He’s not getting the reactions the WWE wants him to, which seems to me that he’ll be on Heat soon. Not his fault, but then maybe he shouldn’t have trashed the WWE so much. Oh yeah, the match. I enjoyed it.
Verdict: Good
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Kane attacks Big Show
Big Show learned a lesson this week. When a crazed, demented, 7 foot tall, former WWE champion psychopath asks you not to say “May 19th”, you don’t say “May 19th.” And we have our second “opponent targets a weak spot on the Big Show” this year, this time Show’s eye. I can’t exactly see what Kane did to make Big Show’s eye bleed, but this is wrestling, it’s not supposed to make sense.
Verdict: Average
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Bikini Contest
Victoria vs. Maria vs. Torrie vs. Candice
Oh my, four hot girls in bikinis. Sorry, scratch that, 2 hot girls and 2 women in bikinis! Yes Torrie, you and Candice have long worn out your hotness. I’m glad that Maria was the unanimous winner from the crowd’s perspective, and the Coach got to do some good ol’ heelin’ in the ring, which is a lot better than most of his commentary. And then to top it all we get VISCERA added to the equation, because they are obviously trying to make me as happy as possible. I’m not entirely sure why Viscera’s Visagra gets edited out of a RAW, but left in on Heat (that airs at 12pm in the UK, as opposed to 2am), but I’m sure there was a reason. The Candice face turn baffles me, but she had nothing else to do.
Verdict: Good
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Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels
I don’t like matches that don’t have finishes (especially matches that have no rules), but as far as storyline progression goes, you couldn’t really do a lot more than this. After focussing on Michaels’ tag team partner for so long, it was about time that McMahonism threw it’s wrath at HBK himself. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Shane use psychology before, but he went after Michaels’ back, even busting a Torture Rack. This psychology now means that Shane McMahon joins the rather large club of people who are better than AJ Styles. The elbow drop off the turnbuckle to the table has got a bit stale to be honest, but Vince’s after-match promo was enough for this to warrant a positive mark.
Verdict: Good
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Cena/Edge segment
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SEXUAL INNUENDO.
Verdict: Bad
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Umaga vs. Steve Lewington
The good thing is that Lewington got a development deal from this match, making him the third Brit in the WWE right now, which is great. Five if you include the Highlanders I suppose. Umaga has looked pretty solid since his introduction, and a match with Ric Flair should do enough to make him a player for the time being. No Estrada mic time annoyed me, but I’ll let it go this once. If he doesn’t speak at Backlash, it’s a Bad rating no matter if the match is a ***** classic.
Verdict: Good
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Triple H/Lita segment
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SEXUAL INNUENDO.
Verdict: Bad
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Mickie/Trish segment
This is still an awesome feud, no matter who’s dressed as who. Hell, one of them could be dressed as a mummy and the other as Mae Young and they’d still put on a better feud than say, Jarrett v Sting. So the count at the moment stands at Mickie dressed as Mickie, and Trish dressed as Mickie. Just in case you were getting confused. The even better thing about this feud is that there will be another good match at the end of it.
Verdict: Good
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HHH, John Cena and Edge vs. Spirit Squad
Wow, two people who I don’t like and one I do against my favourite stable at the moment. Unfortunately my fellow Brits seemed to choose the wrong team to support, and whilst they chose the winning team, I will live with the moral victory of not being a sheep, or someone who cheers for HHH’s sexual innuendo. I’m surprised that this match went as long as it did, and that the Squad were able to get some offense in (well, on everyone except you-know-who), but the result was more than predictable. Watching my two least liked wrestlers rolling around on the mat to end the show didn’t do a lot to inspire me for the Main Event at Backlash, if that’s what the intention was.
Verdict: Bad
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So, overall we have:
Good: 5
Average: 1
Bad: 4
It wasn’t a bad show, but the cloud of the main event feud is enough to make this show instantly forgettable, mainly because I just don’t want to remember it. Below the main event of Cena and HHH there are some really talented guys, and it looks like it’s up to them to carry the show’s entertainment value for the foreseeable future.
Don’t forget, you can contact me at:
[chris@wrestling101.com]
And I will later in the week for SmackDown!. Toodles amigos.
Chris Dewing