Wrestling DVD Reviews

101 Reasons Not To Become a Pro Wrestler DVD Review

This is a film I’ve been looking forward to seeing for quite some time. The teaser trailer made it look like an entertaining piece and the three hour length made it seem like it might be quite the worthy documentary. I was disappointed…

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This is a film I’ve been looking forward to seeing for quite some time. The teaser trailer made it look like an entertaining piece and the three hour length made it seem like it might be quite the worthy documentary. I was disappointed.

But let’s look at the protagonists first:

Psychosis – It’s strange to see that he was wearing the mask again. With rather poor English, he has very little to say for himself. Or, at least, very little interesting to say.

Rikishi – Seems a very nice guy but, again, little to say. He’s chock full of bland platitudes and little else.

Sean O’Haire – He makes an attempt to come across as knowledgeable but has the good grace to admit that he really isn’t the be-all and end-all as far as the wrestling business is concerned. Swears a lot.

Vampiro – Comes across as a party type of guy but a bit of an empty vessel.

Tylene Buck – Bimbo.

Big Slim – Not sure if this is his name. Never heard of him. Not too interested in hearing from someone I’ve never heard of…

Nosawa – I think it’s Nosawa anyway – I think I recognise him. Since he doesn’t get an introduction I’m not sure. Maybe I dropped off.

Chyna – Rambles. Rambles and rambles. She tends to get lost halfway through answers and end up talking about something else. EXCEPT when talking about Triple H and Stephanie…

New Jack – For a guy who, from the interviews I’ve watched and seen and the stories I’ve heard, is an absolute grade-A low-life, New Jack is the most magnetic thing on the screen throughout this film. He’s got great stories, wonderful comic timing, and a far dryer sense of humour than I’d have ever imagined.

So there they are. Hardly A-list wrestling names are they? But it’s the story and the layout of the film that can really make this sort of project worthwhile. Alas, Michael Moody is a very poor film maker.

The camera-work is awful. Rarely is a shot steady, the majority of the shots are in a “talking head” format, poorly framed with a floaty camera. The worst offender in this respect is the footage of Diamond Dallas Page. He’s being filmed from below in the early evening so there’s poor light and what little light there is behind DDP’s head so it’s nigh-on impossible to see his face. The sound production is similarly amateurish. Having to grab the remote control at each change of shot because the sound is either too loud or too quiet in comparison to the last is not a good thing.

I’m not sure whether it’s Michael Moody asking the questions but whoever it is he really ought to have splashed out on a professional voiceover person to ask the questions. The person they used has the weedy voice and poor enunciation of the archetypal shoot-interview questioner – more on that later.

As said before, most of the film is based around questions to the New Jack, Chyna et al. Expecting some insight? Not a chance. The questions are the usual wrestler interview suspects:

How did you get started…?
The collapse of WCW – how did it change the business…?

If you’ve watched more than a couple of shoot interviews you’ll have seen the same stuff many, many times before. To be honest, were you to spend your money on a stack of shoot DVDs you’d get far more candid and interesting answers than you do from this motley crew consisting only of the has-been and the never-quite-was. Unlike, say, a Raven or a Jake Roberts or a Marc Mero, these people do not come across as interesting, likeable or particularly educated – with the ridiculous exception of New Jack.

There’s no following the protagonists around, there’s no in-depth look at their lives – just interviews that were conducted on the same day – in parking lots or bars mostly – thus giving no real insight.

So what do we have? An unexceptional waste of celluloid which showcases just how uninteresting certain people who have done amazing things to entertain us in the past really can be. My recommendation? Go spend you hard-earned on some shoot tapes from some people with a reputation for being good talkers – you’ll have lots more fun than I did over the last three hours…

This gets a big sigh at the wasted opportunity and a 2 out of 10 from me.

Points: 2 / 10

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