Welcome wrestling fans once again to this second edition of Doctor Reed’s Rumours.
Now I no that your hot (because of the weather we’ve been having) and your computer is probably overheated due to the constant surfing you would have been doing, because WWE have taken us on a roller-coaster ride over the last month. But above all those other hot factors I’m going to bring you W101 readers a scorching column this month, because this is Dr Reed’s Rumours, the hottest new column to arrive on the US Scene here at Wrestling 101.
So you are probably sweltering because of the heat (you have my sympathy if it is raining where you are) and you’re wondering why you should bother reading ‘rumours’ and cryptic insights into the WWE when you could be outside getting baked better than a jacket potato. Well wrestling fans the reason you should read the rumours this month is because it will not burn your skin… as much (I can’t promise you won’t feel flustered after reading them though).
So without further a due I present to you Wrestling 101 readers four rumours that deal with current storylines in the WWE.
This summer we are advised to wear excessive amounts of sun cream, drink plenty of fluid and I want you to bear this in mind:
** You will be misinformed by MANY of the rumours you read in the next couple of lines. Dr Christopher Reed will not be held responsible: BY READING THIS TO YOURSELF YOU ARE WAVING ANY LEGAL PROSECUTIONS AGAINST CHRISTOPHER REED. **
1. Last Thursday (29/06/06) I had the pleasure of meeting “The Wonderkid” Jonny Storm and “The Phoenix” Jody Fleisch at NPWA’s Night of Champions 5 spectacular event. Before his match I decided to go and speak to him, and I can safely say he really is a Wonderkid. I would like to think I have a sixth sense in sleuthing out rumours and I noticed that Storm seemed to be a little on edge so being a caring individual I enquired what was wrong. He said, “Chris I’ve had an offer”. I informed him that most of the women around the area make a lot of generous offers but most of them don’t follow through (believe me it’s true, it’s damn true) I asked Mr Storm what was the offer about, he said he wasn’t allowed to tell me. But he did say the independent wrestling circuit is great but he can think of something greater. At that point I realised I had to go and get a seat in the crowd to watch the Wonderkid’s match, before his music hit I went over to him and I wished him luck, he then turned to me and mumbled what I can only translate to be “suck it”. He then turned away and went out for this match. I was in utter shock fans (as you can imagine) is Jonny Storm going to be a new member of Degeneration X or did he simply not like me? Only time will tell and I do hope it’s the antecedent of the two.
2. On the June 30th edition of Smackdown through his manager Daivari, The Great Khali issued a challenge to The Undertaker, challenging him to a “Punjabi Prison Match”. Now after some more investigating and searching the TWO forum someone depicted the match as, the ring will be surrounded by a cage with barbed wires. The two contestants will be able to use it as a weapon. There might be barbed wires on the floor so no one can escape so that way they’ll have to stay in and fight to the “death”. It won’t look like a regular steel cage but much different but with the same material being used. There will also be weapons provided for the contestants to use to their advantage. Now I think you will agree that the match sounds hellacious. But I did manage to discover something else, my inside source at WWE has informed me that one of the wrestlers involved will leave the company as there contract is due to expire, shortly after the Great American Bash. Effectively making this Punjabi Prison Match a loser leaves WWE match. So the question remains, who will make a prison break? And who will rest-in-peace (pieces)?
3. I reported in last month’s edition of the Rumours that three letters captivated the WWE; this month it is just two, DX. After making there return and causing Vince McMahon to be humiliated to the extent that he turned into a ‘stinker’ the rumour mill has been spinning as to whether or not the duo will become a trio or more. Being deemed as the ‘king of cryptology’ enables me to speculate on if there will be a third member and if so who may it be? After watching WWE Vengeance my cryptic mind flew into overdrive, seriously speaking who is the coolest member (In this weather I’d love to be that cool) on the WWE Raw Roster, Carlito, and he hangs around with one of the hottest WWE Divas Maria. I have placed two and two together and got the newest members of Degeneration X. It’s cryptic maths and where is my evidence you ask? It’s simple; currently DX has a heartbreaker, a self-proclaimed king of kings why wouldn’t they add, a man who is cooler than chunks of ice in Antarctica? Or a Diva who is hotter than a blast furnace? I’ve read between the lines and Carlito loves pranks and jokes as much as the next showstopper. If you break it down you find you become degenerated.
4. After discovering that the WWE DVD entitled, “McMahon” (fantastic naming by the WWE developmental department-straight to the point) is being released in the UK and Europe in September of this year I phoned my WWE inside source and asked if Mr McMahon will be doing a tour to promote this DVD. My source informed me that Vince McMahon would not only conduct a live review in the ring on Raw but will also be conducting interviews in the UK to promote it. I do recall the last time Mr McMahon reviewed a DVD in the ring it was the catalyst for Shawn Michaels’ “highway to hell” and the second is, with Vince touring around promoting his DVD (not that he really needs to as I’m sure you would love to by a DVD that is simply named, McMahon) it leaves the question who will run Raw? Maybe his executive assistant Jonathan Coachman or maybe someone who will hit Raw so hard they would be named “The Hitman” now according to his official website www.brethart.com he hasn’t got anything scheduled for the month of September, will Hart make an unbelievable WWE return to run Raw whilst McMahon is away? Now that really would be the best there ever was, is and will be.
And I’m sorry to say that’s it for this month’s edition of the enthralling Dr Reed’s Rumours, as I have to go now and purchase something that will cool me down.
Until next month fans I will leave you with this, “If you aint down with that I’ve got two words for you…read it!”