So what was Taboo about a Tuesday then? Oh yeah crap PPV buy rates, that’s what.
Nothing to do with the crap that goes on in the ring though of course. Well it’s
time to click on the vote button as many times as you want and get ready for Cyber
Sunday.
Champion of Champions match: John Cena v King Booker
v The Big Show
Three champs and all of them pretty useless while the likes of Triple H, Edge,
Shawn Michaels and Randy Orton are stuck in a tag match! So what title is on
stake in this match? Let’s think what reprecussions this could have before voting.
It’d be a cool idea to choose either Cena or King Booker’s title on the line
in the vain hope that it might end the days when WWE has two champions. Putting
the ECW title on the line might mean a more hardcore match but the watered down
ECW isn’t that much tougher than WWE matches so who cares? I’m not sure what
title will be on the line but given the hatred that still exists for Cena I
guess it might be his. As for the match it’s nothing more than a Survivor Series
semi-final is it? Get ready for mass invasions from ECW, Raw and Smackdown setting
up the three-way brand match at the Survivor Series, that’s the only point this
match has.
IC Title: Jeff Hardy v Shelton Benjamin, Carlito or
Johnny Nitro
The best choice here would be Benjamin because that way we might get to see
a decent match and remind Vince just how good Shelton Benjamin can be. People
won’t vote for him though and seeing Hardy has been in a feud with Nitro recently
it only makes sense that it’s Nitro that gets the pick. Carlito doesn’t seem
to be as hot as he was and rumours are he’s on his way to ECW so who’s going
to be IC champ at the end of Cyber Sunday, Hardy or Nitro? I have a feeling
the title could change hands on Sunday as their feud carries on for a bit longer.
Tag Titles: Spirit Squad v Ric Flair and Sgt Slaughter,
Dusty Rhodes or Roddy Piper
Oh boy has the tag division sunk to an all-time low! What a prospect we have
here, either the overblown Spirit Squad as champs or two wrestlers so far past
their sell-by date they could cause any fridge to be have compulsory fumigation.
The Spirit Squad must be broken up soon because after all that’s what Vince
does to tag teams isn’t it? So the prospect here is that we could have an all
our yesterdays tag team as champions but which? The thought of Dusty ‘I’m not
a Whale’ Rhodes in the ring is enough to make anyone give up burgers. Sgt Slaughter’s
best days never really happened really so it seems obvious to me that it’ll
be Flair and Piper in the ring this Sunday and chances are they’ll win the belts
as well. Even more nightmarish is the thought of a Flair v Piper feud in the
future once Vince plays split-up again.
Women’s Title: Mickie James v Lita: Submission, Diva’s
Lumberjack or no DQ
It doesn’t take a genius to work out the result here does it? Diva’s Lumberjack
means plenty of women on the screen and hey one of them might interfere in the
match to set up a feud in the future rather than just being there to gawp at.
Can you believe they actually held a tournament to decide the women’s champ
when the division barely has any in-ring talent around? The loss of Trish was
a massive blow and it seems Lita is on her way out as well which makes you think
James is going to get the belt this weekend.
DX v Edge and Randy Orton: Ref: Coach, Eric Bischoff
or Vince
And so yet more top talent is wasted in the everlasting DX feud. At least Shawn
Michaels can look across the ring and not see a McMahon as his opponent but
will he have to put up with Vince as the ref? Logic is that will be the result
but then again he hasn’t got a book out has he? We haven’t seen a great deal
of Bischoff in the last year and people still live in hope that he’ll use this
match to reform the NWO, face it if you can resurrect one dead idea you might
as well do it for them as well. This has the potential of being the best match
of the night, at least DX are in with two decent wrestlers but wouldn’t
they be better employed in the singles division rather than lame tag matches?
I go for Bischoff to be ref and Edge/Orton to get a damn dirty win.
Umaga v Kane, Benoit or Sandman
So the Umaga push goes on and on without really getting anywhere. Perish the
thought that Benoit gets chosen for this match and Sandman is hardly going to
be a great choice either. It seems only obvious, like most of the voting opportunities
here, that it’s Kane who gets the vote here. The thought of Cena v Umaga in
the New year isn’t really worth getting drunk and saying ‘Happy New Year’ but
that could be the way Vince goes before sorting out his next Wrestlemania opponent.
Umaga v Kane it is for me and of course Umaga gets a dodgy win, again.
Viscera/Venis v The Highlanders v Cryme Tyme v Cade/Murdoch:
Fatal Fourway, Tag Team Turmoil or Texas Tornado
If the tag division’s talent level gets any lower they’ll be holding matches
underground. How the hell did Vince let it get this far when he used to have
such teams as The Hart Foundation/British Bulldogs/Demolition etc. There’s only
Cyme Tyme here who have any semblance of a push so they’ll definitely win for
me. As for the type of match, a Tag Team Turmoil seems the most obvious choice
even though the matches will be shorter than anything Vito reveals in Playgirl.
So there we are, get ready for one of the worst PPV’s of the year. It doesn’t
matter whether it’s a Sunday or a Tuesday, this just ain’t gonna work!
Stephen Ashfield