Welcome everyone once again to that time of the month where the kettle goes on and the phone gets unplugged. It’s time to focus on the US Scene’s hottest column, Dr Reed’s Rumours.
As always I’m your sensational host Dr Christopher Reed and I want to
start this month’s column off with an apology. I want to apologise to
all my fans who logged onto Wrestling101.com in the last two months and frantically searched for the October and November Editions of the Rumours, unfortunately I was unable to deliver the rumours in the last two months due to a Halloween ‘treat’ that I received, let’s just say my hand is much better now and typing is no longer a problem. I will however make it up to you fans who felt lost and empty inside when there search was unsuccessful, I will provide not four but five, yes that’s five rumours for your delight this month, seeing as it is the season to be jolly!
Now my grovelling apology is over and done with its time to progress onto this months rumours inspired as always by World Wrestling Entertainment. In this frantic world in which we inhabit, everyone needs to take a moment to relax and enjoy (no this isn’t a coffee advert) but I advise you to take a break from your hectic lives and read these rumours spun by Wrestling101’s resident “king of cryptology”.
This month WWE fans across the globe are treated to not one but two PPVs. With ECW’s December to Dismember, dismembered for another year (or forever) the WWE now heads to December 17th, for the last pay per view of the year, Armageddon.
With an inferno match, a dream tag team match and a last ride match already confirmed this PPV is surely living up to its name, I would say it is inevitable for us to see Armageddon on December 17th. And now something else that is inevitable, without further a due I present to you Wrestling 101 readers five rumours that deal with current storylines in the WWE.
Before you go on your weekly shop, you must remember a lot of things like your shopping list, credit card, and here’s one more thing to remember:
** You will be misinformed by MANY of the rumours you read in the next couple of lines. Dr Christopher Reed will not be held responsible: READING THIS TO YOURSELF YOU ARE WAVING ANY LEGAL PROSECUTIONS AGAINST CHRISTOPHER REED.
1. In England it’s common to start the day off with a cup of tea and across the waters in the United States it’s not un-common for people to drink coffee as their morning beverage, so it’s not un-common for your favourite doctor to start off this months rumours, with a rumour regarding one of my favourite non-wrestlers Eric Bischoff.
After recently reading his fine book and reading the splendid review
written by wrestling101’s Tony Cottam, I’ve found that a lot of what Bischoff says is in fact true, controversy does indeed create cash. Where’s the evidence you ask? When Eric Bischoff returned to Raw for one night only as the Acting Raw General Manager, on November 6th, controversy was the motto of the night, ranging from his re-starting of the Intercontinental Championship match, to his ordering of Jim Ross to face Chris Masters. Eric Bischoff is deemed as pro wrestling’s most hated man, Bischoff knows this and uses it to his advantage. Raw has been lacking a certain factor since Vince McMahon ‘took out the trash’ in December last year, in some circles Bischoff’s removal as the RAW GM could be classed as controversial, and placing him back as the Acting GM on November 6th created some more controversy thus adding to this vicious cycle. As his entrance music says ‘I’m back’ and he will be, we have seen what happened when he was given one night of unadulterated power, when the inevitable happens I’m sure Bischoff will lead a Raw revolution against both his friends and enemies.
2. On Sunday, December 17th wrestling fans across the globe
will witness some shocking scenes, from Montel Vontavious Porter’s neon ring attire to Kane feeling right at home as he goes one-on-one against Smackdown’s MVP in an inferno match. In the history of WWE there has only ever been three inferno matches and Kane has participated in all of them. Describing an inferno match as brutal doesn’t quite cover it, as the objective is to simply set your opponent on fire in order to win. So to describe it as hell on earth is probably more fitting. Kane is no stranger to deep dark lonely places but something tells this Doctor that MVP is only used to doing some things on his own. How much pain and suffering can MVP bare? What will be the damage limitation going into this match and what will it be coming out of it? Maybe MVP should get his plastic surgeon on speed dial or better still get a list of people he would like as pallbearers at his impending funeral.
3. Whilst writing my monthly column for the NPWA web site I’ve noticed I don’t use this phrase very often “rumour has it” so it’s now making its debut here in the Rumours for www.wrestling101.com. Rumour has it that “The Wonderkid” Jonny Storm has been bouncing from wrestling ring to wrestling ring all over the states recently courtesy of his good friend Scott Hall. When he’s not appearing in US, Storm spends a lot of his time over in Austria or Germany and has also this year managed to make 5 appearances with Wigan-based UK Wrestling company Nitro Pro Wrestling Alliance. Your favourite Doctor managed to catch up with “The Wonderkid” backstage at NPWA Bad Intentions event and I asked him what his intentions are for 2007. He replied, “Chris (I wasn’t going to correct him, after all, he is former FWA All England Champion) I’ve found that in 2006 I’ve had nothing but total none stop action and I’m looking to continue that through to 2007”. Will “The Wonderkid” be joining the likes of The Fallen Angel, Captain Charisma and many more in 2007? Will the cruiserweight from Harlow, Essex soon be relocating to Nashville Tennessee? One thing is for sure Wrestling101 fans, 2007 will be taken by storm!
4. For many, new years day is a time to recover from the previous night’s activities whilst you reflect on the previous year and contemplate your actions towards the incoming year. But for one individual January 1st 2007 will be a day full of headaches and pain and he will probably have plenty of time to reflect upon his decision whilst lying in a hospital bed. The husband (soon to be ex-husband) to the Queen of Pop Kevin Federline will go one on one with John Cena. Whether or not this is in fact some sort of publicity stunt or K-Fed does in fact has a passion for the wrestling business who knows? John Cena is known worldwide for his love for fighting so K-Fed has either picked the right guy to challenge or the wrong guy to want to fight. An informant of mine who is close to Mr Federline has informed me that he has been hitting the gym more than ever and is clearly preparing himself for his match doing activities ranging from drinking egg yolk to doing extensive workouts with Melina. I doubt his personal trainer Jonny Nitro put him through the excruciating torment that NPWA Governor Luke Marsden’s trainer did in the training video. In my personal and professional opinion, I’d say that K-Fed is playing with fire and will probably burn quicker than an album that was released entitled “Playing With Fire”.
5. Next Monday night on Raw there will be a 30-man battle
royal with the winner going on to face WWE Champion John Cena later in the night for the championship. I’ve done some cryptic math and I’m predicting that we could see the return of a past Raw star in this match, as WWE Legend Dusty Rhodes has been seen frequenting Mr McMahon’s limousine whilst travelling on the road with the WWE. Is Dusty hoping to enter this battle royal and have the opportunity to become WWE Champion? I very much doubt that (but never say never) I do believe that Dusty Rhodes is trying to persuade Mr McMahon to bring back a certain gold star to enter the battle royal. Before the curtain is called on Monday will we witness the return of the man formally known as Goldust?
And that is all this month and this year fans for the Dr Reed’s Rumours, but have no fear ‘the king of cryptology’ will be back next year and until then I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Can’t wait until next year? In the meantime why not check out my new column entitled “The Reed Report”.