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WWE: SNME Results 18/8/07

– Show begins with McMahon-Coach in the back still talking about the search for his illegitimate child. Then Coach brings up that he was born in the 70’s, in Kansas City, which is where McMahon had ventured to back in the day apparently. McMahon said he was "overwhelmed" with the whole situation.

Match #1: Batista and Kane vs Finlay and The Great Khali

– This was a pretty tough match through and through, with 3 wrestlers who actually know how to use their skills the right way, and you have the Great Khali who just talks in his language which many don’t understand, raises his arms in the air, and yells since he’s World Champion. Towards the conclusion of the match, Hornswoggle, like he always does, sneaks into the ring to no one’s surprise. Batista and Kane pick up Hornswoggle and ram him into the stomach of Great Khali and that gets Khali’s massive arms into the turnbuckles for a few minutes until he makes his way out to try to get at Kane and Batista, but is unsucessful in his attempts. Double chokeslam, then followed by a Batista Bomb. Winners are Batista and The Big Red Machine, Kane.

– Back from the break, Mr. McMahon finds a mirror in the backstage area and looks into it and seems an image of himself from back from the Mid to Late 1990’s, which then freaks him out and he heads off for a while. Ron Simmons then promptly looks into the mirror, nothing happens, then here we go again, DAMN!

– Highlights are shown with MVP/Holyfield in the locker room preparing for the upcoming boxing match. MVP calls Holyfield "Half man, Half amazing". McMahon-Coach are then shown in the ring continuing their search for the "Uknown" child. Three more candidates are revealed, but not before a little butting of the heads between Coach and McMahon. Coach calls McMahon a "man of urgence", but then McMahon gets all PO’d and tells Coach to start the search right now. First candidate is Eugene, this one comes as some what of a shocker to McMahon. Eugene says that his Uncle "nailed McMahon’s mom" with the intention to put him out of business. Eugene then kisses McMahon on the cheek which infuriates McMahon, Eugene is told to leave the ring.

– Second candidate is Melina, who is a little hesitant in what to do when she comes to the ring. McMahon and Coach again consider what is to make of the situation and Coach says to McMahon, why can’t she be your child? Which then forces McMahon to whisper a secret into the ear of Coach, which sickens coach apparently. Melina says she would try to ruin McMahon or take all that he has got if she is ultimately the child.

– Third, and Final candidate for the night is, the one, the only, Stone Cold. The people in the audience go wild like it’s New Year’s Eve in the Year 1999. Stone Cold then mentions to McMahon that he never figured that he would have a "Jackass" for a father. He also calls McMahon "Pops", and mentions that he could have the results from grapefruits and "fruit of loins". Stone Cold then goes on to mention that he and McMahon never got to catch a game, watch football, and this one is a doozy, but have not 1… 2…. 3….. 4…. 5… 6…. but 7 Beers! Stone Cold then offers to assist McMahon in helping him downstairs, which then prompts him to kick McMahon in the groin and give him a low blow. Coach tries to get involved, but is then stunned. Surprising, huh? He then says he wouldn’t do anything to McMahon(like we really believe that one), and offers to drink a beer with McMahon since it’s his return to MSG. If you wanna see Mr. McMahon and Stone Cold drink a beer, give me a hell yeah. HELL YEAH! Smashing of the beer procedes, and he comes the coup de gras, a Stone Cold Stunner to McMahon, which then follows with a beer bath to McMahon’s pants.

Match #2: John Cena vs Carlito

– No apples or oranges were harmed in this match, phew! Match was a medium length one, pretty one sided if you ask me. Cena ultimately ends up winning with the STFU, in what seemed like record time. Winner is John Cena. Randy Orton then enters the ring from out of nowhere to attack Cena. The two are outside of the ring, causing Orton to throw Cena into the steps on the outside and then set up a Steel Chair. RKO on the Chair, this one is over folks, crown Orton the WWE Champion right now. Nah, we still have Summerslam. Orton then says that the message he sent was "loud and clear".

Match #3: Matt Hardy vs Evander "The Real Deal" Holyfield

– The moment we’ve all been waiting for, grab the popcorn, gather the kids, Michael Buffer is back! ARE YOU READY? Let’s Get Ready to RUMBLE!

– Short match it seemed like. Round 1 was dominated by Evander Holyfield. Round 2 goes nowhere since MVP gets into the ring and tries to tell "The Real Deal" what to do. Holyfield then has had enough and thus TKO’s MVP. This bout ends in a No Contest.

Match #4: Boogeyman/CM Punk vs John Morrison/Big Daddy V

– Boogeyman seems to be really excited about match, he slurps those worms up like a person would with a delicious Spaghetti dinner. The match in a whole was pretty good. Boogeyman seems to have learned some new found wrestling skills, must be from the worms. CM Punk/Boogeyman are your winners after the rollup.