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TNA: iMPACT Results 23/8/07

Kurt Angle arrives at the building looking upset about facing the Steiner Brothers tonight. Karen Angle, who would face the Steiners for five minutes if Kurt loses, didn’t want to get out of the car. She pleaded with Kurt to get her out of this match. Exasperated, Kurt mumbles he needs a divorce. Karen’s facials and acting are remarkable considering she’s had all of four TV appearances.

Kaz and Gail Kim defeated Miss Brooks and Robert Roode. How did Kaz get in the middle of the Roode/Kim program? Last we saw, he was feuding with Sertonin. Brooks railroaded Kim before the bell. Kaz responded with a series of arm drags and a charging forearm. Roode gave him a spinebuster for a two count, and followed with a hangman’s neckbreaker. Roode got the Curt Henning rolling neck snap. He works more like Henning every day. Kaz made the comeback with an Edge-o-matic and a flying forearm, drop kick and backdrop. Kim made a blind tag and tried a huracanrana, but Roode caught her, yet Kaz gave Roode a reverse leg sweep as Kim landed on top. Brooks tagged Roode, but Kim absolutely destroyed her with a vicious clothesline, and Kaz clotheslined Roode over the top. Brooks tried a DDT, but Kim reversed it into an inside cradle for the pin. Roode screamed at Brooks afterwards, and Kaz came to her defense. It ended when Kaz kicked him out of the ring. Kaz kissed Brooks on the cheek, and she smiled.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcomes us to the 100th episode of TNA Impact. Well, at least it was better than the last episode of Seinfeld. So far.

TNA cameras went to Christian Cage’s home after his loss to Abyss in last week’s First Blood match. Cage was in a wheelchair, while A.J. Styles held his hand and Tomko rolled his eyes. Cage claimed his career was on the verge of ending, and said his wife was out shoveling the driveway. Styles reminded Cage he lives in Florida. It ended with Styles and Tomko vowing to get even with Samoa Joe. So Cage apparently won’t be in the arena, which means he should be in the arena before show’s end.

James Storm was driving a car in the middle of downtown proud of making Rhino an alcoholic again. He started a cowboy pub crawl, vowing to find Rhino drunk in a bar so he could beat him up. In the Duck Wild Saloon, a drunk plant mouthed off to Storm, who promptly decked him with a beer bottle. He got kicked out and resumed his search.

Kurt Angle was backstage in Jim Cornette’s office pleading for him to drop the Karen Angle stipulation. Cornette said Angle wouldn’t get a tag team partner tonight, but next week there would be a lottery to determine his partner for his tag team title defense against Team Pacman.

Black Reign did another promo on Chris Harris. It sounded like Dustin Rhodes’ old Seven promos from 1999 WCW, an awful period which this company is starting to resemble.

Ron Killings defeated Eric Young. Young was booked to look like Eugene. That would work if Young wasn’t over anymore, which he still is. Of course, Killings wrestled as a total heel, which is weird because he knows nothing but high spots. Young hit a tope right away, then it was off to a commercial. Killings got the side kick. Suddenly, Dustin Rhodes (moments after the Black Reign promo aired) turned up in the stands cheering for Young dressed like an ordinary fan. Killings did a cool vertical suplex/stunner combination for a two count. That should have been the finish. Killings got the flying forearm, then left the ring and brought a chair into the ring. Young drop kicked the chair into his face. Finish came when Young was about to hit Killings with the chair, but Rudy Charles grabbed it. Young got an elbow and clothesline anyway for a two count. Young went to the top rope, but Killings threw Charles into Young, who jumped off before getting crotched. With Charles favoring his shoulder, Killings belted Young with the chair. The Killingster finished him off after a legdrop. Afterwards, Killings introduced Pacman Jones, who came out with a can of spray paint. Jones spray painted “PAC” on Young’s back. *1/2

Styles and Tomko looked for Samoa Joe backstage. Team 3-D did an interview saying the Steiners humbled them at the last show. Ray tried to act like a babyface, saying he was sorry and apologized. Swerve alert.

Styles and Tomko were outside Joe’s locker room, where Joe pulled Tomko in as Styles was left outside. It ended with Joe chasing Styles around ringside and throwing him around ringside. Tomko came out, but Cage showed up and hit Joe from behind with a chair. Nothing like another swerve. The bankruptcy courts just love ‘em. Tomko gave Joe the tree slam, and Cage delivered the conchairto.

They cut directly backstage where Kurt and Karen Angle were getting ready for the match. Kurt chided Karen on wearing workout clothes for the match. The Angles just argued. As great as Karen is, she’s already badly overexposed.

Judas Mesias is still coming. It was acknowledged during the promo that Judas was the person who pulled Abyss under the ring three weeks ago.

Kurt Angle defeated the Steiners. Rick and Scott totally had their job faces on, and I can’t blame them for being the victims of such stupid booking. Scott gave Angle the clothesline and elbow drop. Rick did his old babyface pit bull spots. Rick tagged in, and Karen grabbed his boot allowing Kurt to get the upper hand. Karen interfered freely at this point, and screamed like Melina whenever Scott chased her away. Where has she been the last eight years? During the match, it was announced there will be a four-way next week between Samoa Joe, Christian Cage, Sting and A.J. Styles. The winner will be Angle’s tag team partner for the bout against Team Pacman. Angle went for the Olympic slam, but Rick turned it into a belly-to-belly suplex to make the hot tag to Scott, who threw several clotheslines and an overhead belly-to-belly. Scott got another belly-to-belly for a near fall. They tried the sky high bulldog, but Angle reversed it into a Toyota roll while Karen grabbed Rick’s leg, but only got a two count. Rick chased Karen, and Kurt got the Olympic slam for a two count. Angle clotheslined Scott over, but Rick decked Kurt. Rick got the powerslam, then went to the top rope for the bulldog. Then Karen distracted the ref, and Team 3-D ran in and gave Rick the 3-D for the pin. Yep, another swerve. Postmatch, Ray gave Rick a powerbomb through a table.