This is an crossover attempt between a light-hearted look and In-depth analysis (read: long) at what WWE kept calling “The biggest party of the Summer”. Which would be a lie if I held a Party on August 16th (my Birthday). Check out the awards – Daily Star says it’s “Gut-Busting Funny” (I say that so you’ll take a look ¬_¬)
Kane vs Finlay
Kane showed some good psychology and worked hard during the match to make it interesting. Finlay was decent, doing his usual dirty tactics act well, but for me Kane was the better worker. Match overall was decent with some good back and forth action.
Segment #1
Vince comes to his office which has been transformed into a tropical”hangout of some sort. Waiting for him is Coachman, Regal, Long and Astrada”Okay backstage segement, but nothing really noteworthy happened.
Kennedy vs Carlito vs Umaga (Triple Threat IC Title)
Kennedy hitting Umaga in the head hard with a monitor was wicked. All three guys worked well. Kennedy showed his usual good workrate, Carlito seemed to step up his game and relish being the manipulative one while Umaga has really become fun to watch as a near-unstoppable tweener. As a result, the triple threat was fun to watch and it’s always awesome to hear Umaga’s entrance music.
Chavo vs Rey Mysterio
Arguably one of the most anticipated matches, if only to see if Rey’s ring work has suffered due to ring rust and if Chavo had to carry him. Was it me or was Rey Mysterio’s outfit just plain weird”silver trousers, silver mask and silver body paint. Looked like something out of a bizarre anime.
Not great, as whenever it was Mysterio’s ring rust or something just didn’t click, there was a spark missing from that match. That said, it was still very good and fun to watch as Chavo worked well, using mind games and psychology and its always fun seeing Mysterio fly. I do wish that Mysterio worked on Chavo’s knee more after he caught Chavo in the tree of woe, as it would have been nice to see a dark side of Mysterio and exact revenge.
Diva’s Battle Royal
Seeing Maria, Melina, Mickie James and Leyla come out was good enough so I skipped it ¬_¬.
Credit to the camera man who got the awesome shot of Beth Phoenix climbing the turnbuckle at the end of the match. I was going to give Melina credit (based on assumption) but seeing Beth stroke her body like that means I’ll give it to her ^_^
Segment #2 – MVP Open Challenge
A cooler?! Could it be a beer challenge of some sort with Austin as special guest ref?! Well two out of three wasn’t bad ^_^
Seriously if you didn’t think beer equalled Steve Austin coming out, consider yourself a mark ¬_¬.
Did anyone notice Matt Hardy getting giddy with excitement?
Best segment so far and it’s going to take something great to top this.
Side Note: “I don’t care, how many of the sexiest woman on television you place in the ring, it doesn’t change the fact that no one brought a ticket to see them” – MVP with a shoot comment o_O
Segment #3 “Money, money”Yeah yeah!”
Back in the “office”, Vince and GM crew (minus Astrada) are waiting for “that woman” when Cryme Time bust into the office. They end up chanting “money, money”Yeah, Yeah” and going round Vince. Eventually long, Coachman and Regal join in. Fricking hilarious seeing Regal “wear” Cryme Time’s hat and get his groove on and ending with Ron Simmons saying “Damn!”
Kat Deluna”wow I’m in love!
John Morrison vs CM Punk
From now on, when CM Punk’s theme plays, everyone must stand and do the straight edge sign. Damn, Morrison doing a neckbreak on the ropes to the outside was pretty sick Good match that should have had more time as it was just starting to get great. Nevertheless, despite not being the best match these two have had, it was still a good hard hitting match.
Booker T vs HHH
Lets wash away that awful WM moment”if you don’t know what I’m talking about, good ^_^ Booker T supported the best looking King’s robe EVER! Man I want a black and white king’s robe. Gotta admit, the whole HHH introduction was cool”Meh I’ll go back to hating him soon ¬_¬.
Was I the only one thinking how funny it would be if HHH got injured in this match?
Sign – “HHH’s Surgeon (arrow pointing down)- Your welcome”
No matter how you try and fool yourself, HHH does indeed look smaller and less imposing.
Decent match, although it did feel somewhat of a glorified squash, but then what was to be expected.
Batista vs The Great Khali
I skipped the diva battle royal but not this”probably be considered brainless by some ¬_¬.
A blah match that had a silly end to it. Still even if it could (somehow) be worse, it was a slow, bad match and pretty much the worse one on the card.
Segment #4 “Vince – A GILF? (Granny I’d Liked to…)”
Mae Young ends up making out with Vince McMahon. No, JUST NO!
Orton vs Cena
Sign “Orton is a Homo” – that’s not booing, that’s just straight up hatred!
Please no more “if [wrestler’s name] wins, we riot” it was only clever the first time.
Very good match, I’m a firm believer that crowd can help a match a long way and they did, helping build excitement and making the most mundane things fantastic and they certainly did in this match. Cena still needs to work on his psychology but he did some good selling here (a bit too much to be honest) and had his working boots on and as for Orton, his “True” legend killer gimmick is awesome.
AWARDS
Okay time for the awards:
“Lets Go”That Guy” Award –
The best overall wrestler of the night Kane and Umaga were hot nominees; Kane for making an almost nothing match interesting and enjoyable and Umaga for being a talented Kamala. But in the end, the duke has to go to Orton. Personally I hate Orton’s behaviour but I’ve always felt he’s talented in the ring and he showed it at Summerslam – playing the deadly, ice cold killer gimmick very well and actually having a good reason to use those damn headlocks!
“Boring” award – the worse overall wrestler of the night –
Khali”I know it’s a tad unfair but really I couldn’t pick anyone else.
“And the Oscar goes to” award – Best worker or entertainer –
Again Umaga comes so close, but I’ve got to give it to Cena. I’ve been very critical of Cena’s psychology but at Summerslam, he made me shut up. True he probably did oversell just a little bit but nevertheless he did a fine job and made Orton look dangerous.
“And the Razzie goes to” award – Worse worker or entertainer –
HHH didn’t sell that much for Booker but even I have to realize it was his big comeback match so I’ll stop playa hating the guy for now. Lets just give it to Khali so I don’t have to think much.
Holy S*** Award – Part of the match that made you mark out –
Wow”really can’t think of anything. Meh Kennedy hitting Umaga with the monitor to the head hard looked a bit sick so I’ll give the award to that moment.
Seeing Kat Deluna…WOW! I’m in love with her ^_^.
You f***ed up award –
Part of the match that was just total bulls*** (Really bad blown spot, horrible match ending, etc) Khali getting the DQ finish by using a chair. It’s wasn’t the end that p***ed me off, it was the means of doing so. Come on! There are better ways of getting a DQ finish.
Best segment –
Cryme Time segment was pretty funny (thanks to Regal) but the open Beer Challenge was funny, due to SCSA doing warm ups. Shame he didn’t say anything but a Stone Cold Stunner speaks louder then words!
Worst segment –
Mae Young making out with McMahon. What made it worse was McMahon liking it and saying a lame analogy.
Best match of the night –
Tough choice”Umaga vs Kennedy vs Carlito was very fun to watch but Cena vs Orton was nail biting and more hard hitting. Meh I’ll give the award to both of these matches.
Wrestlecrap match of the night –
Oh you guess it”Khali vs Batista, come up and claim your prize.
Best Dressed –
Booker T – black capes with white fur are so in fashion as of now.
Worse Dressed –
Khali”just so he can get his fifth negative award, thus setting a record I doubt even Cena or HHH can break (yes even HHH ¬_¬).
OVERALL THOUGHTS
For “The biggest party of the summer”, It was a flat event. The matches were fun to watch overall (guess which one wasn’t?) and Stone Cold and Cryme Time did liven things up during “intermission” but there was nothing too spectacular due to a spark not being there (Chavo vs Rey Mysterio) or not enough time (CM Punk vs Morrison). Still if you did miss the event, I’d recommended waiting and purchasing the DVD.
Rating: B-
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