From Parts Unknown Str8 Gangster, No Chaser (Formerly: Monday Nyquil)

Monday Nyquil: The New World Order (nWo)

Oh my, oh my. The nWo. The greatest wrestling angle of all time. Hands down. I thought I would share with you kids my past thoughts on my heroes in the black and white…

Oh my, oh my. The nWo. The greatest wrestling angle of all time. Hands down. I thought I’d share with you kids my past thoughts on my heroes in the black n white.

I’ve always hated WCW. When I first got into wrestling back in May of 95, it was WWE, and WWE only. WCW was the hokiest crap alive. I mean, the Dungeon of Doom? The Taskmaster? Hulk Hogan getting handcuffed to a friggin rope and hit with a high-heel pump? Puhlease. It was pathetic.

At the time, over in WWE Land, Razor Ramon was my favourite wrestler. I loved the Razor’s Edge, I loved his whole image and his coolness. A close second was the 7 foot man known as Big Daddy Cool Diesel. It’s funny, as a kid, I couldn’t WAIT for the Big Daddy/Syco Sid Lumberjack Match. Now? Shit would be eye cancer. Anyhoo. I loved both those wrestlers, they were the bomb to me. I even walked around with the gold razor blade on a chain that said “Razor Ramon” on it. Oh, along with my Diesel gloves.

So, of course at this time wrestling was as real as the sun to me. I wouldn’t hear for one SECOND that it wasn’t so. So, when I heard that Scott Hall and Kevin Nash were headed to WCW. The worst place in the world, I was heartbroken. No joke, the night I found out about it, I sat in my room looking at my Razor Ramon pics on my wall and crying. I truly hated WCW.

Well, a couple weeks went by, wounds healed, I was moving on. But then….oh but then.I was watching WCW during a WWE commercial break when I saw it. Razor Ramon was coming through the crowd! I raced out to the TV in the living room and showed my mom just what was going on. I couldn’t believe it! He was starting a war! He wasn’t with WCW! The next week, I was glued. When he brought out Big D I was almost in tears with happiness. They were trashing WCW! This was a dream come true!

Every Monday night that came by, I dropped everything. Sure, I watched WWE as always, but my night would…nay, my week would have been ruined if I didn’t see what was happening with The Outsiders.

So, here came Bash at the Beach. I get to find out who the 3rd person is! Who….who would it be? I watched the entire PPV scrambled. Sure, I wanted to know, but I wasn’t about to shill out $30 for a WCW PPV. Yuck. When I found out it was Hogan, I was ecstatic. Because I didn’t want to lose any more WWE stars, and I’d always liked Hogan, so to see him use his clout for the bad guys was just awesome. The nWo. My beautiful little group had a name. The nWo.

I was in heaven. Here it was, 3 of my favourite wrestlers trying to destroy and take over the worst wrestling company alive. Soon, Syxx would join, and totally over-come his whole 1-2-3 Kid persona. Before that though, Ted DiBiase, fresh from being fired by Stone Cold, would show up and join The nWo. So, when my mom would try and argue with me about how wrestling was scripted, she said

“Really? The nWo isn’t being paid by WCW? How are they making a living?”

I’d respond with;

“Duh, mom. They’re with Trillionare Ted. He’s bank-rolling the whole nWo operation!”

“Well, if WCW doesn’t want them around so badly, why don’t they just have them arrested for trespassing and assault?” “They did! At the beginning! But then the nWo was bringing such huge ratings, WCW had no choice but to keep them there! Because their wrestling sucks ass!”

“You’re insane”

“No, I’m too sweeeeeeeeet!”

That was just the beginning of my tirades, soon after I’d yell at preppy kids that Dennis Rodman was sick of how scripted basketball was and needed the true action of the nWo. You’ll hear all about that next week, kids. Fah-Fah-Fah-Life.

It’s your boy, C-Dub.

Caliber Winfield