From Parts Unknown Str8 Gangster, No Chaser (Formerly: Monday Nyquil)

Monday Nyquil: 2007 Awards

Here we are kids, the first annual Monday Nyquil Awards, honouring the best in wrestling for the year of 2007. There’s a good amount of people who say that 2007 was a bit of a slow year for the mat, but I really couldn’t disagree more. 2007 could very well be my most favourite year in wrestling. More classic matches have come out of this year, at least for me, than any other…

Here we are kids, the first annual Monday Nyquil Awards, honouring the best in wrestling for the year of 2007.

There’s a good amount of people who say that 2007 was a bit of a slow year for the mat, but I really couldn’t disagree more. 2007 could very well be my most favourite year in wrestling. More classic matches have come out of this year, at least for me, than any other. Before we get to the awards, let’s get to what everyone loves to do at the end of a fiscal wrestling year;

The Top 10 Matches

> Number 10

For number 10, we have a tie. I know, it’s cheap to have a tie, but I really couldn’t overlook either of these matches. They’re both gold.

Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage
TNA Bound for Glory 2007

Although TNA’s Impact zone was the crater of crap for most of the year, their PPV’s showcased a plethora of anti-suck. Right here, we’ve probably got the very best that TNA had to offer this year, Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage.

I’ve always been a fan of Cage, when he broke into a singles wrestler I was a bit sceptical, but after bouts with Cena and Jericho, he made me a believer, then when he moved to TNA, I knew he was worth the watch. Samoa Joe is probably the best wrestler today, so to be in a program with him is going to guarantee some classics. Their BFG match up is the pinnacle of this feud.

Jeez. Does Matt Morgan have Ahmed Johnson as his body oil mentor? Guy looks like he was caked in cooking oil. Awesome start. Joe is just killing Cage, making it look like his streak could be over quickly. Love it when they head outside and Joe grabs the chair, the ever infamous move for a wrestler, and just sits Cage on it. Brilliant. Damn near missed the rolling dive to the outside. Love Joe’s scouting of Cage as he just walks away The Instant Classic dives into an empty pool. This is just a classic, old school wrestling match. No 20 minute right-left combos, no 30 minute sleepers, just action. It also makes me drool because it’s proof that Cage is hitting a stride and going to smother us with classics and that Samoa Joe hasn’t even hit his prime yet.

Rating: * * * * 1/4th

Randy Orton [C] vs. Shawn Michaels
WWE Survivor Series 2007

I didn’t like how they handled this feud. I mean, c’mon, Randy almost ended Shawn’s career. Anybody who does that to another human being is going to have a shit storm when said person makes his return. Sure, that’s what they gave us, but that’s just it. They gave it to us waaaaay too quickly. Hell, the first night back he got to clobber the hell outta Orton. They should have kept these two apart for awhile, and really had a nice pay off with Survivor Series. But then again, I could be wrong. Because goddamn, was their match awesome. Not allowing Shawn to use the superkick forced him to find other means of winning the match. He broke out practically every submission in the book. The whole match was just fast paced and ass-kicking action. Orton having to play by the book was another great stip, because it kept him on his toes. The ending could have gone a number of ways, but it really proved that Orton is the man, and that RKO he hit was one of the nicest ones. The aftermath was some of the best stuff. Showing Orton’s insecurities by having to get back in the ring and yell at Shawn that he’s better than him. So, of course Shawn responds with the hands-down, sickest superkick I’ve ever seen. Damn near broke Orton’s neck. Just an awesome match to help close out the year.

Rating: * * * * 1/2th

> Number 9

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
WWE Raw – 04/23/2007

Probably the surprise match of the year, no? Not because people thought it would suck, or anything of that nature, but because it’s Raw. You figured after 5-10 minutes there’d be a run in, or a DQ, or something to that effect. But instead we got 56 minutes of solid, ass kicking wrestling. I’d heard about it all year, but hadn’t been able to see it, and didn’t wanna download it because finding a quality version was a pain. So I bought the new Shawn DVD the day it came out so I could get the match. Man, was it worth the wait. Although, not the same calibre as their Wrestlemania match, it surely isn’t far behind at all.

Normally, I’m not big on slow beginnings like this. With an array of wrestling holds and the such. But this was great, because John was playing mind games. Michaels and Cena both knew Shawn tapped at Wrestlemania to the STFU, and John was getting that close, every time in the beginning. His facebuster is sick as hell. JR says “that’s like pouring smoke through a keyhole”…..what the HELL does that mean? I love how this match isn’t just a rehash of their Wrestlemania 23 meeting. Proof in that Cena tried to clothesline Shawn as he went for the superkick, as he did before, but missed it as well as his Warrior-esq flying shoulder and crashed to the outside. Loved that Shawn was able to kick out of the FU, showing just how far this match was about to go. Cena showing an impressive feat of strength as he suplexes a dead weight Shawn Michaels. Cena’s top-rope leg-drop is one of the sickest moves of 2007. Shawn goes for the same steel step piledriver as WRESTLEMANIA23 and gets nothing but a back full of the ground. Cena goes ape and just tackles Shawn with a flurry of punches and then yells at the ref “HE WON’T STAY DOWN! HE WON’T STAY DOWN!” It’s that kinda thing, those tiny details that make a great wrestler. Cena gets the STFU on, but lucky for Shawn, they’re both so goddamn tired, John can’t lock it on as tight as usual. We get what almost seems like an end, but John is able to snag the ropes. Then soon after, we get a 3 count to end one of the most memorable matches in not only all of Raw, but in all of WWE. Just some classic stuff.

Rating: * * * * 1/2th

> Number 8

Triple H [C] vs. Randy Orton
WWE No Mercy 2007 – Last Man Standing

When I first read the results of this PPV, I damn near lost my mind when Egomania was running wild with Triple H winning the title from Orton. But things were made all better 2 hours later when Triple H and Orton put on one of the years best, in my opinion.

Triple H looks to damn near split his head open after Orton takes him down on the ramp. Randy’s also got the best dropkick in the business. He’s perfecting his ice-to-the-bone-killer persona in this match-up. Doing things like slamming H’s head with a monitor, and while most would just let the ref count on that, Orton keeps going. Nice spinebuster on the outside. I don’t care who you are, that’ll f**king hurt. Orton then takes one of the sickest shots from the stairs I’ve ever seen. See, Triple H is playing it wrong here, Randy would have kept going after the stairs shot, but Triple H just lays back. How nothing of Triple H’s wasn’t broken after the RKO on the chair, I’ll never know. Awesome moment; Triple H on the brink of defeat, being propped up against the ropes, gets right in Orton’s face and tells him to suck it. Goddamn, easily one of the sickest chairshots I’ve ever seen. I love the RKO. It might even be deadlier than the Diamond Cutter, and I never thought I’d see the day. A truly awesome match. It’s almost unfair, because this is an incredible LMS match, and would have been the best of all time, but Cena/Umaga and Taker/Batista came through earlier in the year and claimed those titles. What are the chances you get beat twice in the same year when LSM usually only come once a 365? Either way, it gets a steady

Rating: * * * * 1/4th

Now, from this point on, honestly, in any other year, any one of these 6 matches could have been the Match of the Year. So, that’s just showing how f**king awesome ’07 was.

> Number 7

John Cena [C] vs. Shawn Michaels
WWE Wrestlemania 23

For a better part of the year, whenever someone would start to speak about MOTYC, they’d always mention the 60 minute match-up these two had on Raw. Now, granted, it was an awesome match, I’ve seen it at least 6 times already, but in my mind, it wasn’t the greatest meeting they’ve had.

Wrestlemania 23’s match-up was just a pure ball of fire. You could see the desperation in Michaels, wanting that title, willing to do anything. Dragging Cena to the outside and piledriving him onto the steel steps, and taking a gaggle of high risk moves. On the other side of the coin, you could see that Cena knew he’d met his match, and would have to dig deeper than he’s ever had to dig, Er, I apologize for that horrible journalistic cliché’. Doing things like refusing to let go of the STFU once the 4 count had been reached. Either way, both men were on their A game that night. Also, one of the things this match had that the Raw one didn’t, was blood. As usual, Shawn bleeds like a monster, and Cena isn’t far behind. I think it really helped to solidify the drama, and soul-selling desperation of the two men.

Awesome match, and one that seems to be a bit over looked this year.

Rating: * * * * 3/4th

> Number 6

Batista [C] vs. The Undertaker
WWE Cyber Sunday 2007 – Special Guest Ref; Stone Cold Steve Austin

A lot of people feel that this match is what Wrestlemania 23 should have been. Their brawl at Wrestlemania 23 is a 5 star classic in my opinion, so we’ll see if this holds up.

This would be Taker and Batista’s 4th meeting for the year of 2007. From the get-go they’ve been having non-stop classics. Everything ranging from 4 stars and up.

Stone Cold wins the votes for special guest by a landslide. I would have liked to have seen Mick, but dah well. Let’s go, shall we?

Before we start, we’ll have to keep count of how many times Cole says “the best pure striker in the game” or “vintage Undertaker”

Match starts with Batista going for a spear and missing, Undertaker answers with a high boot but misses. They slug it out to the corner then meet in the centre for a lock up with Batista wins and turns into a head lock. Taker bounces The Animal off the ropes and scores the boot he missed seconds before. Pin attempt only gets 2. Taker leads Batista to the corner and starts working the left arm and shoulder. Austin breaks it up. Batista then powers Taker to the opposite corner and greets his mid section with shoulders. Then takes a trip around the ring, slamming Taker into the turnbuckles, followed by straight pummeling. Taker going for his famed triangle choke and Batista grabs the ropes. He goes out side and drags the champ half in-half out and lays some fists and elbows to his head. Back in, pin attempt only gets two. Places Batista back into the corner and works the arm again. Running knee misses and Batista lays the first and boots till Taker falls outside. He then eats stairs and gets his lower back smashed into the ring. Back in, Batista leads with a missed clothesline as Taker sails through the air and introduces his momentum filled fist to Batista’s head. To the buckle, Taker tries the catwalk, but The Champ levels him with jabs and attempts a superplex, only to get thrown backwards to the mat. Pin attempt only gets 2. To the buckle, Undertaker misses a high boot and fly’s to the outside. He then eats stairs and gets rolled back in. Pin attempt gets a 2. Batista is showing signs of a hurt left arm. Undertaker setting Batista up for the sickest leg-drop in a good long while I love that move. Back in, pin attempt gets 2. Batista in the corner, Taker lands two avalanches followed by a snake-eyes, he goes off the ropes but gets greeted with a hard clothesline from The Animal. Pin attempt gets two. In the corner, Batista tries a running shoulder tackle but gets the post. Taker again trying the cat-walk, but Batista catches him mid-air and gives him a nice spinebuster. Pin attempt gets turned into a triangle choke. Which gets turned into a pin, and a break. Attempted chokeslam is met with elbows, irishwhip, missed closeline into a successful chokeslam. Pin gets 2. Tombstone reversed, Batista gets the spear and a 2. Bomb attempt gets a back flip. Undertaker charges as Batista rocks a drop-toe-hold and the Deadman eats the second buckle. Top turnbuckle 10 set stops after 8 and gets met with one of the gnarliest Last Ride’s I’ve seen. Pin gets a two and a half. Tombstone reverse into a spinebuster. Batista bomb gets a 2 and a half. Champ stares in disbelief. Second bomb is the answer! Wow….what a great match up. I love it. A nice, clean pin. I could watch these two go at it for days. I don’t know what it is, but they’re putting on perhaps, in my mind, the greatest series of matches ever.

Rating: * * * * 3/4th

> Number 5

The Undertaker [C] vs. Batista
WWE Backlash 2007

Well, and I’m sure there’s a few that wouldn’t agree with my rating of Taker’ and Batista’s first meeting at Wrestlemania, after their 5 star classic, I’m stirring with anticipation over this Last Man Standing Match. I’ve seen people rate this has high as 4 and a half stars. Most people gave their Wrestlemania match 3 stars, so I can only hope I just cream over this one. Good brawling to start. Not as technical a start as Wrestlemania, but that’s understandable. You’ve just gotta be vicious in a LMSM. Sometimes I hate LMSM, because, really, is someone gonna stay down after a clothesline? No. So I hate all the damn 10 counts. Love once they take it to the outside. Taker’ just blew up that table. It’s really starting to pick up here at the second half the match. Batista getting up from the Tombstone was great, really shows that he’s a f**king beast. Haha. Wow. Now that, that is an ending. Hands down the best ending to a LMSM. Hell, one of the best endings to a match ever. At first I wasn’t in love with this match that much, but repeated viewings have really opened me up to it.

Rating: * * * * ¾th

> Number 4

Batista [C] vs. The Undertaker
WWE Survivor Series 2007 – Hell in a Cell

After their back to back classics early in the year, Batista went on to do unfortunate matches with Kahli. Thankfully, Taker is back, and they’re locked in steel.

I’m a total mark for Taker/Batista, as well as Hell in the Cell, as even Triple H vs. Nash is a decent event inside the cell.

Taker takes the reigns early with some stiff jabs and a snake eyes to the turnbuckle. Love that leg drop. Shit. Taker slamming that chair into Batista’s throat is one of the gnarliest things I’ve ever seen. The blood just sprays from the champ’s soup cooler. I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve seen Taker’s rope-walk go awry. Since this is their 5th meeting, The Undertaker is getting more vicious than I’ve seen him in a long time. Batista looks like a stuck pig after Taker has basically taken him to all 4 corners of the cage. Batista feels the sense of urgency as he slams the Taker 4 times with the stairs, busting open the Deadman. Awesome trading of the power moves, from powerbombs, chokeslams, spinebusters and Batista bombs through tables. Batista is on a short list of men to kick out of the Tombstone. As much as I love Edge, I could have done without his involvement. As it hinders the rating for this match. Still, I’m giving it

Rating: * * * * 3/4th

> Number 3

Chris Harris vs. James Storm
TNA Sacrifice 2007 – Texas Death Match

Ahhhh, now here we go. Probably the only match that could even come close to rivalling John Cena’s bout at The Rumble. I love a Last Man Standing match, although sometimes I find they can be a bit boring, because it’ll be “hit with a chair” the ref attempts a 10 count, “clothesline” the ref attempts a 10 count, “another clothesline” the ref attempts a clothesline. And it’s like we’re watching a match with 5-8 second buffers between each move. However, TNA’s version of a LMS ensures we never have to endure that, because before the ref does a 10 count, you must first pin your opponent. Which I think is completely awesome and the way that all LMS’s should be done.

The month before, at Lethal Lockdown, Harris and Storm had an atrocity of a match in a Blindfolded Cage Match. Why anyone thought that wrestlers going at it with blindfolds would be good, is beyo….wait….Russo, nevermind. So then they make up for it by having a serious MOTYC, and one of the coolest hardcore matches I’ve ever seen. These guys are both big time future stars of this business, and not only proved it daily when they were a tag-team, but now as single wrestlers.

The match starts off kinda slow, with them just brawling into the crowd, but really picks up when it gets to the ring. Chris goes for a leap off the top turnbuckle, but gets a flying chair in the face for his troubles, then hangs in a tree of woe. To which James gets sick by smashing his head against the steel pole with a chair. Ripping open Harris’ head like a wet paper bag. They begin innovation with Harris laying Storm half underneath the table, then catapulting him for about 2 feet before his skull’s free-floating momentum is smashed to an end when it meets the steel outline underneath the table. Snaps! The table is hit so hard it busts a 180. F’ning insane. Later we get a nice powerbomb through a table, as well as a spear from the apron through a table on the outside, ala Mick and Edge from Wrestlemania 22. As well as a nice variation of the Van Damninator. Amiss all this, we also have phenomenal wrestling mixed with the use of weapons such as garbage cans, their lids, chairs, and beer bottles. An absolutely incredible match, and corner to corner war that I can’t speak highly enough about.

Rating: * * * * 3/4th

> Number 2

Batista [C] vs. The Undertaker
WWE Wrestlemania 23

The Undertaker won the Royal Rumble, and chose to go for the Smackdown World Heavyweight Title. For me, when I heard that this was going to be the match up at Wrestlemania, I thought, 2 stars, maybe 2 and a half. Because I hadn’t seen the Taker do much in the last 10 years, he’s had some decent ones here and there, but nothing to consider him still note worthy. Now, leading into it Batista did hold a very prestigious title with me, having a 5 star match, and one of my Top 10 all time faves, with 2005’s Hell in a Cell against Triple H. I felt this was going to be nothing more than a big-man match, and be in slow motion like Taker vs. Sid from Wrestlemania, or Taker vs. Diesel. Well, once it was all said and done I kept hearing how great it was, how people didn’t expect such a great match. So, when I bought Wrestlemania 23, the first thing I did was watch Taker vs. Batista to see what all the hype was about…

Taker has probably the longest entrance ever. Batista showing no signs of fear, opens the bout with a spear and takes The Deadman to the corner and just opens fire. Whip to the turnbuckle and a huge closeline, followed by a another that sends Taker to the outside. He drags Batista out only to get met with a beating that has Taker looking punch drunk. Whip into the stairs and Taker fly’s over them. Back in, Batista goes high risk, well, for a big man and executes a flying shoulder. Vicious clothesline. They trade blows, and the crowd reacts like that of Cena vs. RVD at One Night Stand. Batista to the corner as the mountain comes down on him in the form of 2 avalanches from Taker, then levels Dave with a sick running high boot. Chokeslam reversed as Batista pry’s Undertaker’s hand from his throat. Met with strong rights for his trouble which sends him to the outside. Undertaker sets him up on the apron and executes the best leg-drop I’ve ever seen him launch. Dave tries to collect his thoughts, but the Undertaker halts the proceedings with a sick, no-hands suicide leap over the top rope. On the outside, an irish whip gets reversed and The Undertaker goes colliding into the timekeeper and the like. Batista just loses it and leaps on the prone Deadman and drops blows like the heavens have crumbled. Clearing off two tables, Batista goes big and powerslams Taker off of one table through another. Back inside, pin attempt gets 2. Batista Bomb attempt gets Dave powered into the corner and beaten with elbows, Irish whip into a spinebuster with Warrior-like revving up as the crowd showers him with boos. Reversed Tombstone into a Batista Bomb, gets only a 2 and a half count. Slugging it out, Batista gets sent into the corner than scooped for the Tombstone. I truly couldn’t believe it. I was expecting nothing more than crap, and I got one of my all time favourite matches. A war. A true war. No 30 minute sleeper holds. No millions and millions of rest spots. Just pure action. There wasn’t a dull moment in this match whatsoever, far as I’m concerned. This was just the beginning for them in 2007.

Rating: * * * * *

> Number 1

John Cena [C] vs. Umaga
WWE Royal Rumble 2007

Here we have it. Of course, if you know me, this isn’t any sort of surprise. Not to mention it’s been on the top of a lot of people’s list. I was a pinch sceptical going into it, because I absolutely hate Umaga. He’s nothing more than just another rehash of a crappy wrestler that WWE needed in order to clone Samoa Joe, because they missed the boat. But, thanks to Cena’s phenomenal wrestling ability [yeah, I said it. Matter of fact, I think he’s probably the best wrestler today] , and the fact it was a hardcore style match really helped out Umaga. Because not only is this my choice for match of the year, but it’s also in my mind the greatest bout for the WWE Title and ends up in my top 3 greatest matches of all time.

Why? Because it combines all the things I look for in a match. A great lead in, with Cena just barely getting by in their meeting at NYR, and Umaga being on an unstoppable roll. So, Cena’s reign was in jeopardy. We had two truly dominate forces. You felt this match could have gone either way, so the unpredictability was there. And what’s most important to me, this match was a F**KING WAR. From the very get go. It’s one of the most brutal matches I’ve ever seen. Stairs being thrown at heads, Umaga missing the splash from the table, John’s head getting smashed into the stairs underneath Umaga’s weight. I mean, there’s just so much to love. John smashing Umaga’s head with the monitor was just sick. The blood shed. Just, everything! The intensity was just incredible. The ending was probably the coolest one I’ve ever seen. I mean, c’mon, the STFU with the ring rope? It was John having to reach way down and use resources not normally accessible to put Umaga down. I truly cannot speak highly enough about his match. Umaga better cherish it, because he’ll never be there again.

Rating: * * * * *

Monday Nyquil’s Wrestler of the Year

||| John Cena |||

How could John not get the award? He made more classic matches this year than probably any wrestler in history. Every time he stepped in the ring, you knew you were going to get something good. Hell, I even enjoyed his matches with Khali, and Khali is a wrestling fan’s cancer. I don’t understand how anyone can speak badly against Cena, or say he isn’t deserving of the WWE title. You think his matches at the Rumble, Backlash, Wrestlemania, Raw, Summerslam and the like don’t earn him credit? Few wrestlers are ever on par for that long. He’s got a great mix of technical wrestling, brawling, and submission, and vastly working his way to becoming my favourite wrestler of all time. I guarantee he’ll make 08’ a landmark year.

Why He Won:

  • Vs. Umaga – Royal Rumble – Last Man Standing Match * * * * *
  • Vs. Shawn Michaels – Wrestlemania 23 * * * * 3/4th
  • Vs. Shawn Michaels – Raw – * * * * 1/2th
  • Vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels – Backlash * * * *
  • He actually made a match with Kahli watchable

Monday Nyquil’s PPV Of The Year

||| Wrestlemania 23 |||

I had a mix of thoughts between Survivor Series and Wrestlemania 23. The top three between the two are both Taker/Batista, John Cena/Michaels / Orton/ Michaels , and Money In The Bank / Traditional Survivor Series match Up. Survivor Series loses out in the end because the MITB never disappoints, and the Survivor Series match was a bit weak because of Mysterio and Kane being eliminated so early, by such weak wrestlers. I mean, c’mon, Big Daddy V? All he can eliminate is ratings and the chance of not dying from a heart attack whilst eating only the cream filling from Twinkie’s because he’s on the Atkins.

Wrestlemania 23 had two of the year’s top 5 matches. And 3 of the year’s top 10. Although, Khali was there, so that does hurt a show pretty badly. Well, at least he wasn’t facing someone like Kane…oh, wait…

Why It Won:

  • Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker vs. Randy Orton – Money In The Bank Ladder Match * * * * 1/4th
  • Batista [C] vs. The Undertaker – World Heavyweight Title Match * * * * *
  • John Cena [C] vs. Shawn Michaels – WWE Title Match * * * * 3/4th

Monday Nyquil’s Wrestling DVD Of The Year

||| WWE’s The Ladder Match |||

If there’s one thing that the WWE can do well without fail, is put out amazing DVDs. This, by no means, is no exception. It’s a DVD that every wrestling fan has to own, because you will not find a bad match on here. It’s almost impossible to have a bad match involving a ladder. Please, don’t tell Khali or Mark Henry about this, they may feel the need to prove me ever so horribly wrong. Regardless, you get classic match after classic match in this collection. From the Shawn/Razor classic at SummerSlam, to the Cena/Edge TLC and Mercury nose buster at Armageddon. For twenty bucks, you get 3 discs of some of the best matches in wrestling history, so there’s no way you can miss with this one.

Monday Nyquil’s Feud Of The Year

||| Batista and The Undertaker |||

Again, this surprised the hell outta me. I would have thought these guys would have a sleeper of a match at Wrestlemania, and that’d be it. But they f’ning brought it. And by the end of 07’, as I was buying up DVDs to make my lists, Taker and Batista would have me buying an entire PPV just on their match alone. For me, these guys never got in the ring and produced anything less than 4 stars. I’d say for 5 matches, that’s pretty damn good. They truly brought the best out of each other, and at no point was the feud one sided. In the very end, you still felt that there was more to accomplish because it was set at 1 win a piece, and 3 ties. I don’t count Dave’s win at Survivor Series. This feud did what a real feud is suppose to do, make you a fan out of the people involved, and get you to spend money. Dave and Taker did both of these things by leaps and bounds.

Why They Won:

  • No Way Out – Cena / Michaels vs. Taker / Batista * * * 1/2th
  • Wrestlemania 23 – Batista [C] vs. The Undertaker * * * * *
  • Backlash – The Undertaker [C] vs. Batista * * * * 3/4th
  • Smackdown – The Undertaker [C] vs. Batista * * * *
  • Cyber Sunday – Batista [C] vs. The Undertaker * * * * 3/4th
  • Survivor Series – Batista [C] vs. The Undertaker * * * * 3/4th

Monday Nyquil’s ‘Holy Shit’ Moment Of The Year

||| Joey Mercury Loses Part Of His Face |||

Everything was going good and well at Armageddon’s 4 way ladder match (end of 2006). Then, out of the blue, Joey catches a ladder to his face and obviously didn’t protect himself well enough because next thing you knew, he was SWIMMING in his own blood. I’ve never seen anything like it. It was literally gushing out like a faucet. Within seconds Joey’s face had swollen his eyes shut, and there were at least 2-3 blood pools with the circumference of at least a foot, foot and a half. I’ve never replayed a moment like that. True testament to how dangerous this sport is.

Monday Nyquil’s Biggest Let Down Of The Year

||| Lashley Comes From Out Of The Sky To Win The ECW Title |||

When the new ECW first started, they didn’t have too many fresh superstars. But then, they actually did something smart and signed one of the best wrestlers alive today, CM Punk. It was a slow build to his climb of ECW. Starting with small feuds, beating wrestlers handily and probably the sole reason for ECW’s ratings. So when their own PPV was coming up, it only felt right to finally end the punishably bad run of The Big Show with some true talent, that, of CM Punk. But then all of a sudden, the Anabolic Heavens opened up and crapped out Lashley. Well, he’s big… um….he’s big, right? Right. So let’s give him the title and have him wrestle really boring matches then go into a feud with fresh-faced Vince McMahon. Lashley truly came out of no where and just won. It was horrible and left everyone with a bad taste in their mouth. Fortunately, things were vindicated later in the year with an awesome feud between John Morrison and CM Punk.

Monday Nyquil’s Worst Wrestler Of 2007

||| The Great Khali |||

So, you’ve got a really tall guy who’s a horrible wrestler and ended up killing a guy in his first match, what do you do? Make him champion!

If there’s one thing you can always count on in pro-wrestling, it’s that they never learn from their mistakes. As is the case with The Great Khali. Giant Gonzalez, The Yeti, do none of these ring a bell? The Great Khali lumbered into our lives, dragged down buy rates, and desecrated the Smackdown world title in 2007. He was in programs with John Cena, Batista, and The Undertaker. Guys who all had classic matches this year and couldn’t get so much as a 2 star match outta this cancer. Well, Cena made their match at One Night Stand actually watchable.

But I must say, a very close second….a VERY close second, was Big Daddy V. How many f’ning times are we gonna redress this guy? He SUCKED as Mabel, he SUCKED as King Mabel, he SUCKED as Viscera and he SUCKED as….um, that guy that Lillian wanted. He’s an absolute waste of ring space, and couldn’t draw if Todd McFarlane ghost wrote for him. I mean, why on earth would they think we’d wanted to watch him now that he’s wearing less clothes and showing off his stupid Kamala esq tats? Ugh.

The WWE passes on Samoa Joe, but keep Big Daddy V on a f’ning contract for over 14 years?

Monday Nyquil’s Worst Angle Of 2007

||| AJ Styles Plays Bumbling Sidekick |||

I’m not even going to give a lot of time to this, because, well, I refused to watch a good portion of it because of how ridiculous most of TNA was this year, and this was one of the reasons for it. Wow, that was a run on sentence.

AJ Styles character went from “AJ Styles: Awesome Wrestler” to “AJ Styles: Bumbling Sidekick”. He limped around with Tomko and had horrible tag matches, and basically did nothing but flop around in the shadow that was once the guy who had tons of match of the year candidates.

Monday Nyquil’s Worst Match Of 2007

||| Anything With Khali |||

Sure, it may sound mean, but this guy didn’t offer one freaking piece of entertainment this year. Ok, I guess his match at One Night Stand was some what watchable, but that’s only because of Cena. From the 6 minute long “main events” that ended in DQ, to the painfully boring Punjabi Prison matches, Khali proved that he’s so bad, it’s almost a skill.

Monday Nyquil’s 3 Classic Matches

I’ve been a wrestling fan for 13 years now. It was only in this year did I become a wrestling journalist. So, in order to stack on to my knowledge of rasslin’ I had to go back and watch matches I’d heard about, but hadn’t seen. As well as PPVs I had an interest in. So I thought with each award ceremony I have I’ll debut 3 classics I’ve discovered, in hopes you’ll wanna check’em out too. If you haven’t even heard of them, then take Triple H vs. Scott Steiner’s match from Royal Rumble 2003 off repeat, and watch these.

* America’s Most Wanted vs. Triple X
TNA Turning Point 2004 – Steel Cage Match

I’d heard about this match, but figured unless I downloaded it, I wouldn’t see it. Well, for my luck, I found out it was on my TNA Best of the Bloodiest Brawls DVD. To be honest, I’m not one for tag matches, so even though I heard this one rocked, I wasn’t too eager. The first couple times I tried to watch, I either fell asleep, or skipped to Monster’s Ball. However, one night I stayed the course, and never have I felt like a jack-off. What I continued to see was the greatest tag team wrestling I’d ever seen. It was incredible. One of the bloodiest, craziest matches in history. Elix Skipper delivers a hurricarna from the top of the f’ning cage! Incredible double team moves, great psychology, large amounts of violence, and two of the best teams in wrestling at the time. Just an unbelievable outing and you owe it to yourself to see it.

Rating: * * * * *

* Batista [C] vs. Triple H
WWE Vengeance 2005

Everyone has their favourite style of wrestling. The classic wrestling from the 80’s, when a match was a match, high flying cruiserweight wrestling, and hardcore weapons galore wrestling. For me, I lean more towards the hardcore style. But I can’t just have Big Daddy V given a chair, go against Kane and call it a 5 star match. I need the wrestlers to actually be great wrestlers, and be creative when it comes to hardcore. So your standards just don’t work for me. Also, if a match is going to catch my attention, I need to know there’s intensity, a blood feud, and that’s what this was.

Batista had been following Triple H around in Evolution for a couple years. Doing whatever he could to help is mentor keep that world title. Well, more and more The Animal was coming into his own. In January 2005 he dominated the Elimination Chamber match for a little while, and was the sole reason Triple H won. Then came the annual Royal Rumble where he was the last one standing. Triple H, obviously not happy with this, wanted Batista to go to Smackdown, and examine his options there. Batista said no, and proceeded to powerbomb Triple H through a table. Well, their meeting at Wrestlemania 21 was a decent one. Nothing to write home about. Both men got worked, and Batista finally earned his title. Next month at Backlash he proved it wasn’t a fluke and took out the Game once more. Finally, Triple H was at the end of his rope and didn’t know what he could do. Then he realised, Hell in a Cell. A match he’d never lost, and a match Dave had never been in. A perfect setting to regain his title.

Well, that wasn’t the case. As Batista and Triple H battled it out in one of the most brutal wars I’ve ever seen. They went from coast to coast inside the cage. Weapons such as chains, stairs, sledgehammers, and my personal favourite, a barbwire wrapped steel chair were used to help spill the emotion and anger these two felt towards each other. It was nothing short of a blood bath, as come the end, Triple H realised he was no longer the better man in Evolution. Competition and survival are the oil that move the wheels of sport and man. This match is a fine example of perfection.

Rating: * * * * *

* Kurt Angle [C] vs. The Undertaker
WWE No Way Out 2006

Ah, the Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle. The guy is a walking 4 and a half star match. Hell, I wish I was friends with him just so I could get him drunk at a bar and pick a fight for him. Even if he fought a bar slut he could probably drag 4 stars out of it. So, with that said, he went to war with The Phenom. People had their doubts going into this, and so would I. Because it’d been years since I’d had any stock in Taker. Too many matches with Kane, and A-Train had really left a bad taste in my mouth. However, you can consider this an enema for the mouth.

They truly defined what a wrestling match was. So few these days are actually able to make a war out of pure wrestling. Sure, there are fantastic pure-wrestling matches, but it’s the ones that turn into a war that I really take a shining towards. As far as I’m concerned, Undertaker had never been taken to the limits like this. He was made to look more human than ever before, thrashing around in blind pain as Angle locked on that Angle Lock like a f**king pit-bull. It seemed that no matter what Taker did, leg drop, choke-slam, Last Ride, Tombstone, you name it, Angle countered it. But Undertaker also had his side of submission wrestling, and just pure force.

The first half of the match was pure science and the wearing down of the body, but the second half was the all out brawl. Angle Slams through tables, launching bodies into steel steps and having them crush their throat on the table. Every where you went with this match it was something worth watching. I only wish they could have made a series out of this, because I truly believe they could have had the greatest feud ever seen. Yargh. Maybe one day…

Rating: * * * * *

There we have it kids, a touching year here at the Monday Nyquil Awards. We had winners, we had losers, and we had Khali matches…which, sadly, makes us all losers. This time next year I’m hoping to say that TNA is the most improved fed, Randy Orton and Cena have feud of the year, and Flair put on one more 5 star before retirement. Oh, and how it was the best year ever because not one McMahon had a match, or was on TV.

Keep it bunk, stay strapped, and holla at cha’ boy.

Caliber Winfield