Slim Jim Says...

WWE Royal Rumble 2008 Preview

With the Royal Rumble PPV only a day away, it’s time to take a more detailed look and give some predictions.

First things first it is the first WWE PPV of the year and it’s also the first WWE PPV EVER to be filmed and broadcast in High Definition. This means that probably nobody reading this will be able to watch it in HD. That is until of course the next day when your broadband comes into use and you download it you pikeys (OK, I’ll probably do that if I can be patient enough). As Michael Cole pointed out on SmackDown, wrestling will be even gayer than before as now you’ll be able to see each bead of sweat fly from the bodies of the shinier than ever naked bodies of your favourite superstars. But anyway, Ray’s fantasies aside, let’s make our way to Madison Square Garden as the Rumble returns to the World’s most famous arena.

Ric Flair has to put his CAREER ON THE LINE in a CAREER THREATENING MATCH which if he loses HIS CAREER IS OVER. Just in case you didn’t know. MVP is coming off a great year and Flair has been proving recently he can still go in his last run so I think we should expect a match that is at least good and probably will be very good. Ric Flair will win, the question is how. Matt Hardy might return and save Flair, but I think they should and will hold that off a little longer with the Orton angle a couple of weeks ago. It wouldn’t hurt MVP losing clean to Flair, so I say he’ll tap to the figure four.

JBL and Chris Jericho meet in a match that should be good. JBL’s good matches come from good opponents, and Jericho easily fits that. This is a feud that will continue to WrestleMania if rumours are to be believed, so it could go either way. Being Bradshaw’s first proper match back, might be reason enough for him to win, but Y2J is yet to have a big clean win since returning so it might go that way. They’ve used it too much recently, but I see JBL getting disqualified and this going to some sort of gimmick later on.

Edge defends his World NotHeavyweightAtTheMoment Championship against Rey Mysterio in what should easily take match of the night. They had great chemistry as a tag team a few years back and expect no difference against each other. With the road to Mania on its way it’d make sense for a clean win from Edge here. I know they don’t like to do that so I suppose there will be some sort of interference from the Edgeheads or maybe even Chavo. Either way Edge will walk out champion.

The Raw title match is Randy Orton defending against Jeff Hardy. I’d never have said this before the last couple of weeks, but I think they should have Jeff win the title. It’d be a shame to waste all of this momentum he’s got by beating Triple H and since then jumping off things of increasing height. Give him the belt and shake things up a bit before having Randy take it back at No Way Out so he can lose it to Triple H at WrestleMania. I’ve seen this match in person before and can tell you it could be another great match for this card. Despite what I want to see, chances are they’ll give Orton the win, but I hope the recent roll of Hardy makes him winning a strong possibility.

Finally we have the Royal Rumble match itself. Thirty entrants, one winner. Well, unless you count us, because we’re all winners with the Rumble match. It’s got a lot to live up to after last year’s which was a solid match that came to a head with Undertaker and Shawn Michaels making it incredibly difficult to see who was going to win. That being said the climatic ending was dampened in the same way 2005’s was by having the runner up get a WrestleMania World Title match anyway, but it was still a great finish to a great match. This year there are lots of tag teams and lots of fat people to add the usual elements. You’ve also got Hornswoggle and Foley in there for laughs and nostalgia. Until recently I’d have said Undertaker would win again to go and face Edge at Mania, but with the Triple H storyline progressing as it has, I’m going to say he’ll make it in the match tomorrow and go on to win it. Undertaker can always win his shot in the Elimination Chamber. Even with that possibility, the finish won’t be too predictable because you’ve also got HBK, Batista, and Santino Marella in there who all stand a fighting chance.

It’s a really promising card for the first WWE PPV of the year and I’m hoping it delivers