Kneizock kniezock bitchez!!! I’m back—The KiZARNiVAL FREAK—The Warlord of Weird—The Freak Unique— SiNN Bodhi—with the next instalment of my rasslin’ retardedness!!! I think today I will start off with a backstage story involving my bff Edge & ECW Superstar Yoshi Tatsu… Now it iz no secret that Edge—In his self-written autobiography— confessed after soooo many years to being the culprit who shaved the word ‘FAT’ into my leg hair while I was passed out once upon a time (on a rare bender since I have been straight edge since I can remember)…
So… the thing is that Edge, Christian and I for some stupid reason always refer to each other as ‘FAT’. Fatso, fatty, fatkid, & so forth… So fast forward to FCW years later… Edge enters and a young Yoshi Tatsu asks me, “Preeze, introduce me!” I told him to call Edge fatboy and since Yoshi barely speaks Engerish he didn’t get the gag. “Herro fatboy” Yoshi says to Edge as the rated R superstar’s already over-sized eyes started to bug. Edge pretended to get mad and walked away in disgust. Yoshi, thinking he accidentally offended Edge, almost peizooped himself! Yoshi, “why you tell me say FAT Kizaarny???” I reassured poor Yoshi Edge was just playing and not to worry… At the end of the FCW tv taping Yoshi again approached Edge & said, “Sianara fatass” (I may or may not have had something to do with that)… If Edge’s looks could kill Yoshi Tatsu they would have and he stormed out leaving Yoshi a bundle of nerves. Not long after that at a Smackdown taping in Tampa at the St. Pete Times Forum Yoshi was determined to say hello correctly to the Ultimate Opportunist and myself… Before Yoshi could utter a ‘herro’ Edge cut him off with an angry “NO!!!” and walked away leaving Yoshi looking at me like a beaten Chinese girl (even though he’s Japanese). I re-iterated that Edge was just playing but Yoshi was beside himself. I felt bad & asked Fat Edge to preeze ret Yoshi off the hook & he agreed that it was time…BUT!… Yoshi had gone to sit in the crowd and we didn’t know where he was until the end of an almost 12 hour day… Edge finally hugged Yoshi & and told him that he was the fattest guy he had ever met and that he looked like a sumo! Yoshi looked at Edge & I and finally squeaked out, “You bos are bery bery fat!!!”
Okidoki as far as stand out stuff in my opinion from both TNA & the various WWE brands…
Ummmm, again I will say that Hornswoggle tangling with foe John Heater was fabulous! Santino Crocket & Mark Henry Tubs pickin’ on Swagger was cute. An ECW moment that had me riveted was Santino guest hosting Aberham Washington’s talk show with Tony Atlas & Vladimir Koslov…Taker vs Mysterio wow! What a great story between trepidatious underdog against leery grim reaper… Santino is the Balky Bartokimus of Sports Entertainment and a freakin’ genius!
It is really nice to see the new guys gettin’ some exposure like Kaylan Croft & Trent Baretta but I do think the Hart Dynasty deserves alot more credit. Tyson Kidd & Bulldog Jr. are puritan rasslin’ machines!
Thank god for CM Punk helping Festis get off the Shirely Temples! No longer catatonic—taking his Flinstones & saying his straight edge prayers!
Angelina Love did great in her return debut match against what’s-her-face… I think Mr. Anderson… ANDERSON will be a great asset to TNA and give Abyss a very different style of opponent. I wrestled at an Indy show and watched Ken wrestle a great & fun match against another great yet relatively unknown wrestler TextBook Tyson Dux… They did a little song & dance had the humans laughin’ then jumped into one hell of a catch as catch can match.
I don’t think I will ever get tired of hearing Pope call Orlando Jordan ‘Whoopi’! Brian Kendrick is a great TNA acquisition too and can reeeeally breath heel life into the ultra talented yet androgynous X-Division… I would like to see Spanky vs Kid Kash (high flying deizouche vs high flying deizouche!)
Cindy from Wisconsin writes, “Oh all-knowing Kizzy Bear, will you ever return to WWE or TNA?“…
Well, sweetums, if the good humanz of the rasslin’ universe wanna see me, SiNN Bodhi (Formerly KiZARNY of WWE Smackdown) raising hell & jelly beans on tv again I suggest you tweet “Hire KiZARNY” to Dixie Carter at ‘TNADixie’ ’cause I sure would like to get my hands on Mick Foley and see who the real masochist is!
P.S. Some guy wrote in— I believe his screen name is Jackass— saying I am a dummy for enjoying the Nastys & Santino… Well, did you ever see the part in Jay & Silent Bob Strike back when they track down the cyber dorks that bashed them and kicked the road apples outta them… Nuff said…
Sex, Stunts & Rock n Roll! SiNN Bodhi & The dYNAMITE dEATH mONKIEZ live in action!!! Sneak a peak at the underground show that is scaring everyone! Featuring the Warlord of Weird SiNN Bodhi & hiz cast of maniacz!!! Worldz Giantest Midget! Worldz Only Blind Stuntman! Worldz Largest Lap Dancer! Worldz most F’d up Magician & Hot Chickz!!Just thought I’d let you know what was on my meizind!!!….
If you have comments, questions or hate mail please email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
SiNN Bodhi ‘The Kizarnival freak’