Ruse's Muses

Ruses WWE Raw Review: 1st February 2010

I wish I could pocket William Shatner. I would take him out whenever I was feeling a bit glum or to add some joie de vivre to a night out. If he’s half as fun as he was on Raw, time spent in his company would be a hoot. This week’s guest host didn’t have that many decisions to make, but his rendition of various wrestlers’ entrance music, comedic in-ring tumble on Jerry Lawler, and “Match Negotiator” skit were terrific. The beauty of Shatner is his unpredictability, you’re never quite sure what the Star Trek-famed rogue is going to do next.
The majority of Raw, however, was pretty conventional but not necessarily dull. John Cena and HHH were asked questions by their opponents but proceeded to despatch Cody Rhodes and Jack Swagger respectively to earn their slots in the red brand’s Elimination Chamber match on February 21. “Boring,” I hear you cry. “Wise choice,” I say. I want new stars to reach the big time as much as the next grapple fan but you have to have a perfect blend of established and fresh competitors, and Cena and The Game, plus Randy Orton, fill the first of those categories.
Youthful blood will enter the metal structure courtesy of Ted DiBiase and Kofi Kingston, who also qualified this past Monday. DiBiase overcame the gargantuan Mark Henry and should play a pivotal role in the chamber when the inevitable confrontation with his leader, Orton, takes place. And call me foolish, but I think there is an outside chance he could nab the gold and set up a title match with The Viper at Wrestlemania.
Kingston secured his ticket to the chamber by defeating Big Show, but it was how the match transpired and not the end result that made the headlines. The bubbly Ghanaian made one of the worst botches in a long while by plummeting of the top rope, and after his apparent mistake against Orton a few weeks ago, Kingston appears intent on destroying his main-event push.
The peculiarities were not yet over though, with the former ECW star picking up the victory in bizarre fashion. Kofi’s behemothic opponent was disqualified for coming to the referee’s aid, after mistakenly punching him the face. Big Show was irate, I was just confused.
Shawn Michaels joins Show in having to sit out the chamber after he was beaten by Orton via a swift roll up. HBK – who displays anguish so brilliantly – was vexed but he remains more distraught about his fading hopes of facing The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. It would be no surprise if at WWE’s next pay-per-view The Icon cost The Deadman his strap, leading to the veteran duo relocking horns on the grandest stage of them all and allowing Edge and Chris Jericho to battle for the world heavyweight championship. Predictable, but most definitely not dull.
The Rated-R Superstar opened Raw and while he surprisingly stumbled over his words, it was great to have him back on our screens. The Torontonian was interrupted by Sheamus who explained that if Edge chose to fight him at Wrestlemania, he would be given a brutal Irish trouncing. The two came to blows and the Royal Rumble winner came out on top. Sheamus, however, more than held his own during the segment and I think WWE has found a rough diamond in The Celtic Warrior, one they can nurture into something special. I just wish he was used a tad more prominently in his role as champion.
The night ended with Bret Hart and Vince McMahon and after weeks of planning, I was pretty happy with how it panned out. The WWE chairman didn’t chose to whine or beg The Hitman not to wallop him in revenge for that kick to the groin on January 4. Instead he assassinated Hart’s character, labelling him an odd-looking, uncharismatic has-been. Bret eventually heard enough but his McMahon-aimed violence was thwarted by Batista, who assaulted The Hitman and then grasped him as Vince spat in his face.
The Animal, with McMahon in his corner, versus a Hart-flanked Cena would seem pencilled in for Wrestlemania. I wanted to see Vince v Bret go it alone but if there are any fears over the Canadian’s health, he should not put his body on the line for one night of wildness, as big as the night in question may be.
Cena against Batista is a decent alternative because remember readers, while we may not be pleading for the match to take place, there are plenty of people out there who will be.