This was posted by Sweet Sayara at the WAW Forums.
“It’s been a long time since i put pen to paper it’s usually an event that moves me or angers me that makes me want to air my views this time it is different.
To explain myself and my actions i feel this how i must do it.I just hope that when you read this you can maybe understand that Sweet Saraya might be strong,determined,arrogant and an egotist underneath the brashness of the character there lies Julia, a complete opposite of the alter-ego.
Over the past few years my family and I have been through hell with different things happening both in business and in my personal life.
My husband and I seemed to have more than our fair share of bad luck.The catastrophe’s seemed to go not one after another but simultaneously.I have thought with temporal lobe epilepsy and involving an eating disorder for years that is effected by stress.Over the years I have battled with childhood issues and unanswered questions, singularly they are manageable but the amount of problems myself and my husband was immenseand a normal couple would not and could not have would stood the pressure we were under.
Something had to give,unfortunately,that something was me.I had reached a point in my life were i felt worthless,and unwanted and very unloved.All points that i realise now were unfounded but was so low mentally, emotionally and physically (seven stone), that i left myself with only two choices, suicide, or running away and letting my family go on without me. I felt they were better off without me, I didn’t have the bottle for the former so i chose the latter.
Now i am back, I have learned alot.I have learnt that my family love and need me which is a amazing feeling, also I have learned that friends, i thought were friends, were not and people who i never gave a chance turned out to be very loyal.
Kraft and Kharisma showed loyalty that i can’t describe and I will always respect them for there devotion to my family and WAW wrestling. All the trainees and my fellow teacher Jason Cross have shown me that the very thing myself and my husband has spent 16 years of our life striving to create, was in fact complete under our noses.We strove for a company that had good traditional values and a family unit that stuck together and respected eachother our feel WAW stands for that.A special mention for Julian and Paul Radbourne who worked tirelessly through my disapearence and never gave up to me you will always be my brothers.
As for my husband Ricky Knight he is the loyalist most important thing in my life.
I never realised how much he loved and needed me, without him, i would not be here now.
I no I have my soul mate and we are meant to be. He got such a rough deal in the press, he was accused of many things, even to the extreme of beating me, and locking me in cupboards and burying me in the garden.All of which are obviously untrue.He still continued on were i gave up I would like to tell him how much I love him, he rescued me when I was 18 now he has done the same, without him I don’t exist.
Inclosing I would like to say a special note to my children,all 5 of them, they went through hell and back, especially Zak and Saraya-jade. I am sorry, sometimes things happen what we don’t understand, i cannot begin to explain what was going on in my head but i know i am so proud of you all, you are my life.
To end this i would like to leave you with this thought,
Things happen for a reason, sometimes unexplainable but i know there is some reasoning behind it, it is how you react to it, that shows what sort of person you are, a victim or a fighter, i now know, i am a fighter.
One last thing I was amazed and overwhelmed by the messages of support from all in the business and the fans across all the internet forums.I can’t thank you all individually so I will thank you all collectively and let you know you kindness has helped my rehabilitation.”