TLW: SummerSlam 2003 Predictions

Well, hello. And welcome to the first post holiday edition of The Live Wire. Is it good to be back? Hello no! I could still be drinking Guinness in Dublin right now! Damn holidays for having to end! Damn them to hell and back!

But on a calmer note, I did catch up with most of the wrestling bits and bobs that I missed, and it turns out I didn’t miss much at all. Ho hum. But, with this being the PPV weekend of the month, you know what that means – it’s PREDICTION TIME!!!

Raw Matches:

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Gyah! I would cry this as the Sandwich match of the evening, but hell, Shane’s usually good for a huge bump off something very high, so that’s gotta be worth watching. Given that Bisch has been running roughshod over Shane, and Linda recently, I do declare that this match will be where he gets his payback.

Eric Bischoff beating a McMahon on Pay Per View? Not in this dimension, pal! I see a pretty average style match with these two NON-WRESTLERS, yes non-wrestlers on the second biggest show of the year, slugging it out and Shane falling over things a lot. Shane-O-Mac will pull a win out of nowhere.
Winner : Shane McMahon

World Tag Team Championship:
La Resistance (Champions) vs. The Dudley Boyz

Yawn! The Dudleys get a crowd going, and La Resistance get a whole heap of heat – but let’s face it – Grenier has to go to OVW and do some more training. Dupree looks OK at best – maybe a run of singles matches on Heat and he could develop into something, but these two do not inspire confidence in the Tag Titles.
The seeming addition of Rob Conway to their little group could be interesting, but no matter, I still see Frenchie tasting table, and Dudley tasting gold yet again. The Dudleys title record is incredible, and they never do the belts that much harm, so why not let them re-establish the belts as credible for a while?
Winners : The Dudley Boyz

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

OK folks – here it is – the big pay off to the feud we’ve all been talking about. Rob Van Dam, the world’s highest wrestler, squaring off against Kane, the master of the matches… Good build to the feud, and hopefully, there will be a clean winner and both men can move on to other, hopefully brighter things. No doubt RVD will be used to put over people like Randy Orton and Rodney Mack to pay him back for his interview.

Honestly, the WWE sometimes is like a kid’s playgroup – “Please, Vince, Rob was saying bad things on the radio – make him stand in the corner!” – and now we have the ceremonial burial of Rob. If that’s to be, give Kane a decent run at the title and let his push count for something. Pah!
Winner : Kane

World Heavyweight Championship
Elimination Chamber Match:
Triple H (Champion) vs. “Y2J” Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg vs. “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Oooo lookie here it’s that big steel thing again – huzzah! Hell, that may well be the only thing that would interest me in another match featuring both Trips AND Nash. Surely this must be Nash’s main event swansong. But I digress…

Let’s look at the evidence : Orton – Injury Prone. Trips : Injured right now. Nash : Slow, bald and useless. Michaels : Passable, but irrelevant now. Goldbore : Crap. Jericho KING OF THE WORLD!!!

So, I think – and I’m gonna let my brain run wild on this one – that Jericho is the ideal choice. Not only to win the match, but to become the sacrificial lamb for Goldbore’s eventual title run. Trips can have a rest and recover from his injury, and Jericho can have another run as a deserving champion
Winner : Chris Jericho

Smackdown Matches:

Zach Gowen vs. Matt Hardy version 1.0 (with Shannon Moore)

So it looks like this might not happen now. Damn shame. Let’s feed Matt Hardy another opponent to keep him on PPV, or give this time to the fourway or Angle/Lesnar match. Good side is that Zach might not be on PPV. If it happens, I pick Matt to win.
Winner : Matt Hardy version 1.0

The Undertaker vs. The A-Train

OK. Take two slices of bread, and put them under the grill. Toast one side until golden brown, then remove from the grill. Turn them over and place one slice of ham on each slice. Cover the ham with generous helpings of grated cheese, salt and pepper and place back under the grill until the cheese has melted. With the cheese still soft, drizzle some Worcester Sauce over them and pour yourself a nice glass of milk and enjoy!

Why am I telling you this? Because THAT’S what I’ll be doing while this match is on. It’s your official (toasted) Sandwich Match of the night! Never go against Taker is my usual theory, but not this time. ‘Taker and Train are buddies, and Taker has apparently been wanting to put him over for a while… so why not? Train to win this… don’t be surprised to see some Cena interference also…
Winner : A-Train

World Wrestling Entertainment United States Championship
Fatal 4-Way Match:
“Latino Heat” Eddie Guerrero (Champion) vs. “The Crippler” Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno vs. Tajiri

Could well be a very good match indeed, as long as it’s not handled like the WrestleMania three way tag match and not cut short after 8 minutes. This requires at least 15, maybe even 20 minutes. It’s also an ECW revival, so that’s GOT to be a good thing, right? Right? Calm down, Mr. Heyman, it’s not that much of an ECW revival, you can stop running now, the bank ISN’T here.

To the match, and to be honest, Eddie hasn’t put a foot wrong as US Champion yet, and I still hold out hope for a Benoit vs. Guerrero ladder match at the next Smackdown PPV – so I’m taking lucky Eduardo to win, possibly as a result of some cheating! Eddie in cheating scandal! Surely not!
Winner : Eddie Guerrero

World Wrestling Entertainment Championship:
Kurt Angle (Champion) vs. Brock Lesnar

Ladies and germs, this could be Match Of The Night, and if done as good as both men seem to think, it could be Match Of The Year. I’m with them – both men are a hell of a lot fitter than they were in March at WrestleMania – and Brock is a lot easier to swallow as a heel than as a smiling face. Kurt manages to draw his fair share of face pops too, so look for the crowd to be right into this one.

The only dark cloud on the horizon is Vince’s involvement with Brock. I’m quite sick of Vince now. Stephanie is vaguely watchable (for two reasons) but Vince does my nut in. And while I’m on the subject – Vince is using A-Train and Big Show as his enforcers – they also teamed up for Paul Heyman – has Vince just inserted himself into Heyman’s storylines?

Back to the match, and this is a toughie. Kurt just reclaimed the belt, and his is an inspirational comeback from a career threatening injury – why not let him milk it a bit longer? But the thrill is in the chase… and putting the belt back onto a newly turned Brock Lesnar and letting him run rampant over Smackdown also makes sense, and allows them to build to Angle vs. Lesnar III for the Rumble or even WrestleMania. Hearts says Kurt, Head says Lesnar. Head wins.
Winner : Brock Lesnar

Despite the air of doom n gloom surrounding this PPV, I don’t think it’ll be too bad as a show. Maybe the quality of wrestling won’t be as highs as Vengeance last month, but the spectacle of the Elimination Chamber, and the inevitable Shane McMahon huge bump, and the undoubted quality of the US and WWE championship matches convinces me. This could be quite good. I’m looking forward to it, so on that high note, I’ll leave you all and see you on Monday with the SummerSlam roundup.

You can post your SummerSlam Predictions here

Tony Cottam