The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
We are just 20 days away from WrestleMania 22, and only 5 days away from Saturday Night’s Main Event returning to our screens. Well by the time you’re reading this, it will probably 18 days to WM22 and 3 days to SNME, but we’re working in theory. Everything works, in theory. Like communism. You want a column? You got one.
Don’t forget, now its separate GB&Us for separate shows, giving you a complete overhaul of both RAW and SmackDown!. But also, mainly for filler space, I’ll be going through some news items and giving them a Good, Bad or Ugly rating as well.
And now it’s time for The Newsreel.
THE NEWSREEL
News taken from wrestling websites around the globe.
“Jim Ross will apparently be the announcer for WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event next Saturday.”
I for one am glad that JR is returning. I’m not too bothered about him not coming back to RAW, as I’ve got so used to Styles that another change would probably just upset the balance again. I’m probably more glad though that his last moments on WWE TV will not be a Linda McMahon kick to the balls.
Verdict: Good
“Smackdown did a 2.6 rating last night.”
Good to see that the rating is back up a bit, because for the second week in a row it was a great show. But I still can’t help feeling that SmackDown!’s recent good run of form deserves ratings in the 3.0 margin, so I’m not going to call it good just yet.
Verdict: Bad
“Triple H is featured on the poster for WWE Backlash. It has him posing on the corner ropes with his arms in the air. He does not have the WWE Title in the poster. It is expected that a John Cena/Triple H rematch will headline Backlash.”
Wow, not one, but TWO Cena/HHH matches? I feel like I’m in heaven. No, wait, not heaven, hell. Yeah, that’s it. For someone who isn’t looking forward to the first match, having to look forward to a second makes it even worse. I wouldn’t put it past there being a second re-match at Vengeance to be honest. And oh yeah, I believe HHH is 5 from 5 at PPVs he’s been on the poster of, not including Vengeance 01.
Verdict: Bad
“The DVD for WrestleMania 22 will be a three disc set and will be released on 5/23.The set will include a behind the scenes look at the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony.”
Definitely looking forward to that, presuming I get WM22 to review on Wrestling 101. If I don’t, I’ll be unhappy. I do have to question why it’s only WrestleMania that the WWE go for broke with extra features and leave the other PPVs with nothing.
Verdict: Good
And a piece of breaking news I saw as I was writing…
“WWE has signed up Shannon Moore. TNA did not have him under contract.”
Well… Didn’t see that coming. You’d have to wonder why Shannon was allowed to have a month long feud with AJ Styles, and then stayed around for three more months without having a contract. We can now add Shannon Moore to the list of “people fired by the WWE, trashed the company, and then jumped at the chance of returning”. Say hello to Charlie Haas.
Verdict: Good
Time for some mailbag goodness now.
THE MAILBAG
First up, one from PowerSlam at TWO:
“Hi Chris,
I’ve had to do this through PM because my e-mail is messed up at the moment.
Just writing to say I really enjoy reading your RAW and Smackdown! reviews on wrestling101. I think it has improved since doing full reviews of each show and having the additional news round-up review also.
Plus the new YANS opinion is great stuff.
One more thing, it’s good to see someone giving Smackdown! the credit it deserves and giving RAW a good bashing because the Friday night show has been far dominant for a long time now.
Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading the next instalment.
PowerSlam.”
Thank you for the feedback. I also think that doing it twice a week has been more beneficial, maybe not for my social life, but for going through things in a lot more detail. The YANS thing was going to just be for last week’s SmackDown!, but due to added interest, it’s back again…
Our second e-mail is from… KAM?!
“Your excelling yourself Mr Dewing!
I loved the addition of YANS!
Kam”
See, I’m not only loved by the public, but even by my boss. Is there any higher praise?
And after that, we’ll move on to the show.
WWE RAW
March 13th, 2006
Beaumont, Texas
For reference, YANS will be played this week by Big Craig, who is assisting me.
Vince/Shane/HBK segment
Oh dear. Why must every RAW start off with Vince? Can’t we just have someone different for a change? Hell, I’d take CENA over Vince. JOHN CENA. I can’t say I enjoyed this segment much, mainly because of its frankly bizarre nature. I would’ve given this ugly, but I found Vince’s monologue to the camera about not doing drugs actually very funny. But for the second week in a row there’s been some stupid McMahon thing up first, and for the second week in a row it’s made me less excited about watching the rest of the show.
Verdict: Bad
YANS
I have to disagree with you on this. This wasn’t bad, this was VERY bad. Why are we having a ”hilarious” segment about urine rather than having a match? NOONE cares about this Shawn Michaels/McMahon feud, no one cares about the McMahons in general. Michaels should be having a match against a wrestler at Mania, like Angle again, or even Rob Van Dam. But instead, we get something with the McMahons involved in, and you know when the McMahons are involved in something, it’s going to suck. I give this an UGLY.
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WWE Women’s Title Match
Trish Stratus © vs. Victoria
I normally always stick up for women’s wrestling, and certainly there was nothing overly bad in this match, but at the end I was just feeling rather apathetic about it. Maybe it was because the last segment had sapped the life out of me, or maybe the thought of Candice wrestling at SNME made me feel sick. Either way, Trish v Victoria is normally a banker good match, but obviously this was the exception that proves the rule.
Verdict: Bad
YANS
Again, I have to point out that you’re wrong. Did you count how many botched spots they did in this match? Women have no place in the ring at all. This match didn’t even serve any purpose. We get to see Victoria v Trish again!!! Wow. And it was all just to continue a storyline that they started last week, with another crap diva doing a run-in. WWE doesn’t even try to go with the storyline that has been taking up so much time with Trish/Mickie. They probably forgot they’re doing that storyline, though. This also gets an UGLY.
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Foley’s WrestleMania package
I do tend to enjoy video packages trashing a wrestler. We see so many packages building a guy up, that a wrestler ordering a video package to be made trashing their feud opponent is just a nice touch. Plus it automatically gets Edge some more heat, not that he actually needs it.
Verdict: Good
YANS
GOOD?! Please. Foley used to be good, but he’s crap now. Edge has been great ever since he beat Cena for the title. Shame WWE had to go and crap all over him. He should be feuding with someone like Michaels. It’d be better than the McMahons, that’s for sure. This parody was just oh so funny. Foley has had some great matches at WrestleMania, but leave it to WWE to crap all over them. I give this a BAD.
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Edge vs. Goldust
The first thing I noticed at the end of this match is that Goldust was pretty much exhausted after just a short four minute match. That’s not a good sign. Neither is the fact that the ending was completely botched, with Goldust obviously either not hearing or not noticing Lita on the apron, and just waited around in the ring doing nothing. The match was obviously just a squash for Edge, but listening to commentary about stuff I have no idea about (Cowboy Troy?) didn’t help my enjoyment.
Verdict: Bad
YANS
Again, this is WWE crapping all over Edge. What good does him beating CrapDust do him? Why isn’t he in a match against someone that he could have a good match with? Not like it would matter anyway, WWE wouldn’t give them time. It’s a shame that a washed-up has-been part-timer is getting time on television when there are so many great wrestlers that aren’t. This match gets another BAD.
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Trish/Maria/Torrie segment
What did I say last week about female wrestlers acting? This segment not only managed to plug two completely different things (Playboy and that work-out machine thing), it also managed to change a match that had barely been announced beforehand anyway. I am glad that Trish managed to point out the absurdity of a work out machine in a corridor.
Verdict: Bad
YANS
Take your blind WWE Mark goggles off and be truthful for once! The divas are taking up even more time. (Time that could be used for a wrestling match, by the way) This serves absolutely no purpose other then furthering a crap angle that will eventually end in a crap match. UGLY, again.
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Verne Gagne to be inducted into the HoF
Wow, that was seriously a shock. Yet somehow the fact that WM22 is being held in the AWA base of Chicago means that it’s not that surprising. Gagne’s influence on the wrestling world certainly can’t be ignored, so it’s without question a wise induction. However, I’m unsure as to whether the crowd will be that interested to hear what Greg Gagne has to say, whereas if Lawler had inducted him, they’d be more into it.
Verdict: Good
YANS
Verne Gagne is in the Hall of Fame? Why? What did he ever do for the WWE? I’m sure Vince is just inducting him just so he can crap all over his legacy. Bad for Gagne.
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HHH/Cena Contract Signing
Ah, the first of the bi-annual HHH contract signings. I don’t recall Rey vs. Angle vs. Orton having a contract signing, maybe I missed it. The fact that HHH freely admitted that he wasn’t going to attack Cena didn’t do a lot to get me interested in it, in fact it did the opposite. At least his insults were a bit more heelish this time, instead of pointing out all of Cena’s real faults. The run-ins at the end didn’t make me anymore excited to be honest, as they were pretty predictable.
Verdict: Bad
YANS
No one, and I mean, NO ONE, cares about this ”feud”, if you can call it that. HHH is just completely burying Cena, but it’s not like Cena doesn’t deserve it. Cena IS crap, but HHH can only say this stuff because he’s banging the daughter of the boss. Cena continued to get booed and HHH just didn’t get any kind or reaction. Why did Big Slow and Kane come out? Why didn’t Cena and HHH attack one another? What a great 6 man tonight. I’m so looking forward to it. Another UGLY.
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Cage Match
Spirit Squad vs. Shawn Michaels
SPIRIT SQUAD~! WHOOO! Spirit Squad are too good to go through doors, real men wear green tracksuits and climb in over the top. Considering there were four Spirit Squad members and only one Shawn Michaels, you have to wonder how HBK managed to fight them all off and nearly get to leave. But the in-ring stuff was great, some awesome selling and the pyramid Poetry in Motion was great, even if he missed. And hell, Ken Doane sold a low blow for TWO MINUTES. That’s worthy of a good by itself.
Verdict: Good
YANS
This was far from good, buddy. It would be good if they let Ken Doane and Shawn Michaels go by themselves in a cage, but oh no, we can’t do that, now can we? No, WWE has to give some of the most talented guys on their roster some stupid cheerleader gimmick, and make them the personal cheerleaders of the McMahons. Shawn of course takes out 5 guys by himself. Shame that 5 guys have to job to one guy in a feud with 2 guys that aren’t even wrestlers. BAD.
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Shane attacks HBK
But of course, where all five of the Spirit Squad can’t take down HBK, it just takes ONE McMahon to do it. Shane destroyed HBK entirely by himself, with very little help from the Spirit Squad aside from holding him down. And Shane REALLY needs to stop using the Van Terminator, it’s complete theft of RVD’s move, and RVD’s BACKSTAGE. Surely he could just use something else?
Verdict: Bad
YANS
So a guy that isn’t a wrestler, and hasn’t been on TV for months, is able to beat up a guy that should be WWE Champion, when 5 WRESTLERS can’t. Typical WWE booking. Make sure those McMahons are the top guys on the show. No one cares about this feud, like I’ve said before, so what’s the point? I expect another overrated street fight from Shane this Saturday, but I’m sure some will try to say it was ”good”. UGLY.
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Trish/Mickie segment
OK, when I said that female wrestlers can’t act, I ignore these two when they’re together. Mickie and Trish have a good chemistry which actually makes the backstage segments they have together seem believable. This is probably why this feud has been so good thus far.
Verdict: Good
YANS: Hey, WWE actually remembered something! And we get MORE of one of the crap diva angles. Trish and Mickie are terrible, terrible actors, and they are just making this feud even worse. They had a terrible match a while back at some crappy WWE PPV and I’m sure that no matter how ”great” this angle goes, the payoff match is going to be terrible. Another BAD.
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WWE Intercontinental Title Match
Shelton Benjamin © vs. Rob Van Dam
I did have high hopes for this match, hopes which increased further when Ric Flair came out to do commentary. But for whatever reason, these two just didn’t seem to click. They weren’t given much time for a start, and the ending of the match was just bizarre. Even more bizarre is that RVD is expected to win the MITB match at WM22, yet he lost to the Intercontinental Champion. Of course, what he really needs is the Van Terminator back. Again, maybe it was the lack of entertainment on the show thus far that made me not enjoy it as much.
Verdict: Bad
YANS
This COULD have been good, but no, WWE has to do all that overbooking crap. We get Flair on commentary for no reason at all. Flair is a crap wrestler today, and he has no business in WWE. Shelton and RVD could have had a great match in somewhere like TNA, but we get this WWE bullcrap. Flair has to interfere with it because they can’t have clean victories in WWE. One good thing out of this though, Momma is going to be gone for weeks. I mean, she’s so funny. I’m hoping that this ”heart surgery” kills her and Shelton goes out with a vengeance and new attitude. But even then WWE would probably mess that up and make him become a saddened character that cries in between matches. Bad.
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Carlito, Chris Masters and HHH vs. Kane, Big Show and John Cena
Again, another match I just couldn’t get into. But this is probably more to do with the fact that it was a 5 minute match that ended with a DQ than anything else. And even then, most of the match was taken up with HHH and Cena staring across the ring like a pair of star-crossed lovers. Orton appearing at the end was certainly a bit shocking, but it would’ve been better if Kurt Angle had Angle Slammed HHH when HHH went after Orton.
Verdict: Bad
YANS
This is the main event of Raw. The main event of a WRESTLING show. NONE of these guys belong in the main event of a show about WRESTLING where WRESTLING fans watch to see WRESTLING. All of these guys are crap wrestlers. And even then, Big Slow and Kane completely no sell chair shots making their ”challengers” for WrestleMania look like complete and utter crap. HHH and Cena then threaten to fight one another, and then for no reason whatsoever, Randy Orton comes out, (a guy from WWE’s OTHER crappy show) and attacks Cena, and HHH comes to his aide. Great booking there, Vince.
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So, overall we have:
Very Good: 0
Good: 4
Bad: 8
Ugly: 0
So another negative show, but at least this time there were no segments that made me want to quit following wrestling like last week. I suppose in many ways you could call this show an “improvement”, but that just makes me realise how bad last week’s was. And then the crying starts.
So that was the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of this week’s RAW. Thanks again to Big Craig for lending me his time and effort to be YANS this week, I think he got it spot on.
Got an opinion on anything? Let me know right here:
[chris@wrestling101.com]
And I will see you later this week for SmackDown!.
Chris Dewing