The Gorilla Position

The Gorilla Position #11: I was wrong! Wrestling is made on RAW!

I have seen the light, my brethren, and it is stop….chop…stop…punch wrestling. The one move, stop….wait a second, move wrestling has me floored. I am in awe of what wrestling Match Of The Year (MOTY) candidates have to put forth to have integrity…

I have seen the light, my brethren, and it is stop….chop…stop…punch wrestling. The one move, stop….wait a second, move wrestling has me floored. I am in awe of what wrestling Match Of The Year (MOTY) candidates have to put forth to have integrity. I am not denying that Michaels/Cena went an hour on Raw. Good for them! The are in top physical condition and have a move set of five, they should be able to go that long. Someone tell me the story they were telling…Michaels had his back worked on and Cena’s arm was maligned in the match. I call bullcrap. There wasn’t that much offense even put out by HBK, and when he did hit something, it was never in any combinations. He would have to recover, or dare I say rest, for a full minute or two before trying to come back with a move. Cena who dominated the match was the same way in his offense. When they finally did pick up the match 50 minutes had basically been burned with ten minutes of moves. You put that match in ROH and they would boo half of the match. I congratulate them on going an hour, but Norman Smiley can go an hour against the Brawler in the same pace and time. Why must we say something is good because it went long? I have taken hour long exams and I sure as hell would rather take a 20 minute one. There are so many things that tick me off about Cena and his capabilities in the ring and how he is perceived. I don’t think that he is capable of producing something great on the mat. Yet I hear how he has been in two match of the year type contest this year. I loved the finisher, but so what…one move doesn’t make a match that lasts an hour.

Stop , chop, punch!

I am asking for a little bit more energy than punches, chops, chinlock to side headlock in the first 35 minutes. Really though, can a man in a bowler hat give me more than just that type of style? I am sure that one day a match of the year will take place this year, but it has not been in the WWE so far this year. So give me a fan in the stands to win a title or Robbie Brookside being dogpiled by half of Vince’s family and Umaga, but don’t tell me they have given me a match of the year in any way shape or form in Michaels vs. Cena. This being stated, I turn my attention to the other big match of the week – Sting vs. Angle and hope Russo’s rear screwing of main events doesn’t rear it’s ugly head…

I was wrong! I abhor you, Russo, for the bait and switch. Sting vs. Angle 2 minutes and 30 seconds of wrestling broadcast to the fans before interference with Christian and gang. You deserve never to get over the ratings hump. That was garbage, and I can finally say that at least Vince lets wrestling occur.

What a sad statement! I never thought that I would defend McMahon against anyone including my own thoughts, but at last he is victorious. I may not agree with the Cena/HBK match being match of the year, but at least it was a match. There were no run-ins , no screwjobs, nothing to piss off the audience besides the first 15 minutes of Raw, which will always happen as long as there is a Vince McMahon. Yet, I can live with that when you see him let two athletes try to put on a great performance. I was wrong. The style may not suit my lofty expectations, but it was allowed to breathe and create some excitement for wrestling fans. Sure, it was screwy that it wasn’t for the belt and went 1 hour, but it told a story with some flaws, but a story all the same. Vince, I was too hard on you, old chap. You are the ruler of what is wrestling, not TNA. That stands for "Totally No Angles" worth watching right now. Vince, maybe you should be knighted as the saviour of wrestling. You are at least bringing it out on your programs. The days of old are dead and your style is what is accepted today as the way to wrestle. I can live with it as long as I know it is all I shall get. Russo confirmed it loud and clear on Thursday, and it was salt in my eyes. I was wrong!

Angle, where are you! I hate to say it, but where is the return of money on Kurt Angle! Bad booking and an inability to break out of Vince McMahon’s creation has me believing that this is the biggest waste of money so far by either organization at this point.

Where is his hour match? Where is he when true wrestling matches are going on earlier in the week? Tell me what you will, but I am siding with Vince McMahon. He may have his own style and sometimes lacks substance, but he delivered last Monday, and I was wrong! The shame is burned on me like that of a Terry Funk branding. The whisky has soured slightly between my toothy grin, and I am eating back all the shit I said about Vince McMahon. I may despise Cena, but you gave me a champ and a challenger that will wrestle, and I give you more allegiance than ever. This is how young Skywalker began his descent into the darkside. When he sees that the answer maybe or given by those that walk the line of the shameless and the evil empire. Danny Dunn will soon party aboard the Deathstar of sports entertainment while wiping out Orlando’s so -called "we are wrestling" rebellion!

Darlin’ Danny Dunn